Fairy Tale Blank, Part 26

Charles ducked away from the multitudes that petrified him and out to an alcove off the the ballroom, near the balcony. “Much better,” he murmured. “The air is fresher.” His long arms gently lay Brett against the balcony. “You'll be less heavy down here. After we restore your husband and revive you, we'll get you to losing a few pounds.” He chuckled softly. “Starting with cutting it down to two cases of vodka a day.”

Swords clanged as men and women swung from the tapestries and threw fluffy pastries and cream pies at each other. Slippery icing and upended baked goods made it hard to walk across the floor without skating on it. Guards surrounded Gary, Sarah, Elaine, Bobby, and Sir Convy. The two largest guards threw a net over Orson, dragging him to the ground. Four trolls penned Gene in, grabbing at his wand and the sword he snatched from a nobleman.

“Thanks, boys.” Ira ducked behind Gene and snatched his wand from his grasp, then swung around and held his sword on his throat. One of his men grabbed his sword. “Rayburn, you're under arrest for high treason against Queen and country, all the damage the UnJolly Green Giant did in Holly Woods, and conspiracy to kill me and Her Majesty.”

Gene held his chin high as one of the trolls yanked his arms behind his back. “Do what you want to me, Ira. I've lived a long life. Just let the others go, and tell that witch you work for to free Orson and the other trolls from her spells.”

“Not in my job description.” He patted Gene's shoulder. “Nothing personal, Rayburn, but you're all going to have to be executed. Starting with you. You broke the law. You know how it goes.”

“Very well, Ira,” Gene sighed wearily as Ira lifted the sword to his chest. “Make it fast. Just,” his eyes softened for a minute, “tell my wife Helen I love her.”

“Very romantic, Rayburn,” Ira sneered. “I'll mention to her the next time she's serving my dinner that her traitor of a husband died like the coward he is.”

“Stop, Sheriff Skutch!” Three tiny lights of red, green, and blue winked in the rapidly emerging moonlight. Two figures rose before the windows, one taller than the other. The shorter wore a fine white cape with a hood over wisps of silver-black hair.

Charles grinned as everyone else gasped. “Ri...er, Robin Hood!”

“That's him!” a pretty young red-headed woman with delicate features and a Britannica accent exclaimed. “It's really bloody Robin Hood!”

Meredith squinted upwards next to her shocked mother. “I thought he'd be taller.”

“I swear,” Victoria muttered, “I've seen that guy before. Recently, in fact. Really recently.”

Richard and Lee swung side-by-side together, Lee on a tapestry, Richard on the chandelier. “Darling,” Richard told her the moment he landed, “could you deal with those unpleasant gentlemen who are manhandling our friends?”

“Absolutely. Don't you boys make any sudden moves,” she purred as she held her knife on the closest guard's neck. “Or I may have found a new pincushion.”

“Skutch, let him go back to his Helen,” Richard called out, blocking Gene from his sword. “You're after me, not him.”

Ira gave him a nasty smirk. “I'm going to enjoy this. Boys, keep an eye on Rayburn. He's a wizard. They're tricky bastards.”

“Hey now,” Richard growled as one of the guards held a knife to Gene's neck, “I told you to release him!”

“They're keeping him out of mischief.” Ira chuckled. “I want the honor of finally finding out who you are on my own.”

“I'm afraid,” Richard admitted in a nasal voice, “I'm going to walk out of here, and you'll be dead.” The smirk in his voice was undeniable. “You hamburger!”

Charles watched the two go back and forth from his cubbyhole. Neither man gave an inch, jumping and spinning and slashing around each other. Richard was the superior fencer, being agile and fast, but he was also still recovering from his energy being drained. Ira had no such concerns. He slammed into him, pushing Richard further and further back.

“Richard!” Lee screamed, “watch out!” It was all she could to keep the two guards she fought with at bay. One finally grabbed her from behind and shoved her arms at her sides as she struggled wildly.

Richard looked over his shoulder at Lee's cries, which gave Ira his chance. He slashed the bandit's shoulder, leaving a bloody gash, then shoved him to the ground. The sword flew from his fingers, skittering across the shiny polished floor and out of the nobleman's reach.

Charles gulped as the sword bounced to a stop as his feet. Could he...no, he couldn't. He wasn't a warrior. Couldn't handle a sword. His lessons with Richard were hopeless..and that crowd...but his friends...

“No, Ira!” He grasped the sword's golden hilt in his shaky hand and slid in front of Richard. “Come on, make my day!”

“Charles?” Richard groaned as his jaw dropped open. “What in the bloody hell are you doing?”

“Honestly,” the minstrel whined, “I have no idea!”

Gene grinned as three lights flitted around the guard who held him. Vines attracted by the green light tugged the silver wand out of his pocket. “I'll take that,” he chuckled as the vine courteously slid it into his hand.

“No fair!” Ira whined as he kicked the vines away. “I don't have help from rainbow mosquitoes!”

“MOSQUITOES!” The indignant squawk from the blue light shook the vines and made several people jump back. “Do I look like a mosquito to you?” Debralee screamed as she emerged in her human form. “How'd you like another bath?”

Ira glared at her. “How'd you like to be arrested? The basement isn't exactly a two-story mushroom with all the amenities.”

“Ira, come on!” Charles snapped hotly. “If I take you down, you have to let Robin Hood and my friends go.”

“Look, Charlie,” Ira fussed, “you shouldn't be playing with that little knife. You don't know how to handle it.”

“No, I don't,” he admitted firmly, “but I can't let my friends get hurt.” He lunged for him, making it intentionally comic, slipping and sliding past him. “Play something snappy!” he told Clifton as he whirled past him.

“We'll help!” Gary yelled as he jumped on the stage. “Clifton, I can sing and play the drums!”

“I can play the xylophone,” Sarah added helpfully.

“If you give me a guitar, I'll figure something out,” Orson snorted and showed his claws. “I have built-in picks!”

Victoria jumped on the stage. "I can sing. I'm not shabby at it."

“Ok then, folks,” Clifton said with a grin to his sudden band, “make it funny and make it loud!”

It was more noise than music, but that suited Charles' purpose. He danced around Ira, poking him in the side and limbo dancing under his swing. He made sure to focus on twirling away from Ira's shiny sharp blade and not the crowds of onlookers that brought back too many scary memories. The crowd cheered and called out suggestions and dance moves. He thought he recognized a skinny redhead in a golden gown yelling “Kill him, Charles!” at the top of her lungs, while her smaller male friend in the blue jacket pumped his fist and screamed for Ira to get his rear in gear.

“Nahh nahh!” Charles stuck his tongue out and wiggled his fingers in his ears. “You missed me!”

“Well, if the goofballs back there would can the racket,” Ira whined, “I might be able to focus on what I'm doing!”

Charles took that opportunity to grab Ira and swing him around the circle of onlookers. “You don't need to see to dance!” He snatched a rose from a nobleman's boutonniere and stuck it between his teeth. “I'll lead!” He tangoed Ira across the room, finally spinning him into the crowd. He twirled and kept twirling until he landed back-first into the dessert buffet, sending pastries and cakes into the faces of startled onlookers.

“Whoa!” Gary yelped as he and Sarah pulled their capes over their heads. “Pies and cakes at ten o'clock! Take cover!”

“I didn't know balls were so dangerous!” she added, wide-eyed.

“Elaine,” Bobby added as a slice of chocolate cake grazed his face, “I think this would be a good time to start rounding up the others and leaving this party.”

Puffs of cream came close enough to leave a white streak in her hair. “Oooh, I think you're right!” She ran her finger across the chocolate fudge frosting on his cheek. “But you do taste nice.”

“Thank you, thank you!” Charles bowed for the crowd. “I love an audience! As long as I'm not in them.”

That was when the door flung open. “Do you know any more dances?” Orson growled as trolls stomped into the ballroom, making the chandelier quiver on its gold chain.

His eyes widened. “Uh, I don't think those guys are really interested in learning the Hustle. It's time we hustled on out of here, before they make us wet spots on the floor.”

The trolls pushed back the audience as they all screamed and started for the door. “No one's going anywhere!” Ira bleated frantically over the din. “Get the minstrel! You're all under arrest!” He waved his sword at the musicians. “And you, and you, and the Jolly Green Giant, and Blondie in the red cape, and the kid in the other red cape, and Robin Hood...where is he, anyway?”

“Oh, why don't you dry out?” Richard complained from under his hood as Lee kissed his neck and wrapped a torn strip of petticoat around his wounded shoulder. “I'm busy.”

“Ira,” Gene chuckled as he tapped his wand on his hand, “it looks like you've lost control of this party. What a shame. I can't imagine what your boss will say.”

“I know what I'll say,” Charles yelped as the trolls formed an oncoming green tide. “Take cover!”He ducked away, just missing the stampede as the trolls leaped into the crowd. “I think this place is getting too busy for me,” he muttered as he discreetly tip-toed back to the balcony. “Time to find Brett and blow this joint.”

The alcove, however, was empty. “Brett?” He called nervously. Not a trace of her remained. “Brett? Come on, this isn't funny! Where are you? You couldn't have gotten up and walked away!”

It was a beautiful night to take in the view of the extensive gardens on the balcony. Charles probably would have gotten more out of it if he wasn't so worried. Brett was nowhere to be found. She wasn't leaning against the ornate gold leaf railings, or gazing out into the clouds of creamy white and scarlet roses, or kissing the woman in the yellow outfit...

He raised an eyebrow. Wait a minute. Kissing? Two silhouettes framed the next balcony over. Fannie's red hair and blue gown glowed in the pale moonlight. She'd just leaned over to kiss a busty blonde in creamy white Swiss lace. They embraced one another, necking and murmuring sweet nothings in the moonlight, before she gazed furtively into the ballroom and hurried back.

“Fannie?” He caught her hand before she could leave. “Where did you go? Richard's been looking for you! And who was she?”

“Charles,” she sad softly, “she's my lover. Been my lover for over a year. We've been out here for the past twenty minutes, ever since the fairies got Gene away from that annoying Sheriff. I've looked for her and for Lee all night.” Her blue eyes flicked up to his. “She's my Princess Charming. I tried to explain to Richard, but...I guess I didn't know how to say it.”

He nodded with a small, knowing smile. “I understand, Fannie.” he added quickly, “Malade's trolls are here, and I can't find Brett anywhere. We need help. You're one of the only ones with magic, besides Gene, Elaine, and wherever Marcia is. I think I heard her in the audience somewhere. Didn't know she was so bloodthirsty.”

Fannie nodded at the young woman. “Get together later?” The blonde grinned, gave her another eager kiss, and hurried off the balcony. “Her name is Alma Mae. Pretty, isn't she? Smarter than she looks, too. She's one of Malade's attendants. We were working together in the Underground, and one thing lead to another...”

He threw up a hand. “I don't want to hear it. I just need your help. We have to find Brett, and we need to take out those trolls.”

“Well, I can't tell you where Brett went to,” Fannie admitted with a snicker. “You might want to look for the nearest open bar. Taking on the trolls...” A slow, sassy grin spread across her face. “That, we can handle.”