It was a long time since Charles played the Palace. The Password Palace Ball Room was the most coveted gig for any performer in all the Five Kingdoms. He, Betty, and the frog followed the nobles in their frosted pastel gowns and suits shimmering with trims of silver, gold, and gemstones down the wide steps with their thick red carpeting. Everything was done in white and gold baroque, from the crystal and gold curls of the chandelier to the cherubs aiming their hearts at the gold leaf trim in the vaulted ceiling.
“Your Majesty?” The diminutive man with the round glasses, receding hairline, and big grin bowed before her. “My good friend Wizard Rayburn told me you'd be here.” He pulled a silver wand out from his green velvet coat with the orange and pink embroidered flowers. “Don't worry,” he whispered, “I know who you are, but I won't give the game away.”
“Call me the Marquess Di Nivens. Sir Olsen.” She patted the frog. “This is my date.” The lanky amphibian grinned from her shoulder.
He raised an eyebrow. “If you say so, Your Maj...Marquess. You always did like animals.” He grinned at the man on her other arm. “Hi, Charles. Here for a gig?”
Charles gave him his own warm smile. “You bet. Hi, Johnny. Glad to see you. I'm surprised Malade let you keep your page job.”
“I was helping Gene do his research before he vanished. Tonight, I'm the doorman.” Sir Johnny Olsen gently pushed them along. “And not to be offensive, but you're blocking the road.” He clearly called out “Marquess Di Nivens and Charles of Yorkalia!” as they made their way down to the main floor.
Clifton waved wildly from the small stage at the northern edge of the room. “Hey, man, glad you got here.” He handed him a silver lute lovelier than anything he'd ever owned. “Show's about to begin. We've gotta work on a few songs while they announce the big wigs.”
He looked up as Johnny stood as tall as he could on the red carpet. “Now arriving, Prince Peter of Newkirk, Wizard Rayburn, and entourage!”
Richard looked every inch the royalty he claimed to be in his yellow and orange suit, high boots, and crown glowing on his silver-black locks like a halo. He'd never seen anyone more handsome. Gene waved behind him, swishing his blue and orange cape like the ham he was. No sooner did they step into the ballroom than women of all ages crowded around them.
“Hey, man.” Clifton shook his arm. “You in there? We've got to begin the first number.”
“Huh?” He swung the silk strap for the lute around his shoulder. “Oh, right.” His eyes never left Richard, even as he was mobbed by hoards of ladies begging the prince for a dance.
“Hold your horses!” Richard laughed as he put up his hands. “I'll get to all of you! Just give me a chance.”
“Prince Peter!” Meredith, Fannie's blonde sister, nudged her way through the crowd, dragging Victoria with her. “You promised me the first dance!” She was barely visible in the enormous mountain of pink tulle that made her resemble a cone of cotton candy with a fluff of yellow hair.
“Why should she go first?” Victoria grumbled as her heels got caught in the delicate lace on the hem of her blue silk gown. “I wanted to go first this time! You get all the guys.”
“Girls, girls!” Richard backed away, but he was still surrounded by besotted noblewomen in sweeping gowns. “I promise, I'll dance with every single one of you, eventually...”
That was when everything...stopped. Johnny's voice rang out as a vision in blue tulle and green leaves stepped beside him. “Princess Patricia of...” She quickly whispered in his ear, “of the Kingdom of Elmwood Springs and her attendants!”
Fannie walked down the stairs slowly, practically floating. The lights from the chandelier caught on the gems in her gown, making it appear that a thousand little lights glowed around her. Jo Ann in her rose dress and Joyce in layers of pale green and gold, with tiaras of leaves, flowers, and crystals brought up her rear.
“Your Highness.” Richard swept to her side, ignoring the whining women he'd abandoned. “I would like nothing more than to have this first dance with you.”
Fannie curtsied. “I know no one else here but you. I would be honored to give you the first dance of the night.”
Clifton shook Charles' shoulder. “Hey man, who's the redheaded chick? Not bad. Never saw a dress like that. She must be crazy-rich.” He grinned. “You know, I think they need something slow, man. Real romantic. What do you have in your repertoire?”
“Oh.” He blinked. “Well, there's 'It Only Takes a Moment,' but that's a duet...”
“Hi!” Joyce squeaked as she climbed on the stage. “Mind if I join you? I've sung for the other fairies before, and I'm not afraid to sing in front of humans...and I must say, I'm not too shabby at it.”
“All right.” Charles thrust sheet music in her hand. “Can you handle this?”
She shrugged. “I can try.”
Clifton's grin looked slightly dazed as he kissed her hand. “I'll give you the best lute accompaniment you've ever heard, pretty lady.”
As he began singing the sweet ballad, the room became a whirl of brilliant rainbow colors and glittering gems. He noticed Betty dance with an older man with gray hair and a large silk ascot, while Meredith was swept up into Sir Convy's waiting arms and Jo Ann danced with a member of the court. He swore he saw flashes of Gary's scarlet hat and Sarah's vermilion cape swirling around the edges of the crowd, but it may have been the red brocade tablecloths on the refreshment tables.
Charles' eyes never left Fannie and Richard. Guests murmured as they whirled around the floor. “I think Fannie's dress looks wonderful, doesn't it?” Joyce giggled in his ear during an instrumental break. “It's one of the best things I ever did. They think she's a real princess!”
Richard certainly thought so. His eyes never left Fannie's. Hers darted around the room, searching the crowds. “Hey,” he murmured as they waltzed by the stage, “are you all right? Nervous?”
“Well, yes,” she whispered, “this is the first time I've ever been to one of these big fancy parties. Besides, I'm looking for my contact. She said she'd come with Malade, and she hasn't arrived yet.”
“Don't worry about it. Your stepmother won't get you as long as I'm here.” He drew her closer and kissed the top of her head. “By the way, what does your contact look like?”
She shrugged. “Oh, like any of the women in the court. Tall, slender, dark hair that curls. We really should find her...”
“Maybe she'll find us.” He gently stroked the back of her head. “For the moment, let's just dance.” Charles couldn't hear more before he started singing along with his pleasant rich tenor and pulled Fannie into the crowd.
“Hey, man,” Bobby said to Richard as he and Elaine two-stepped by them, “you're not bad at this.”
“Not like you,” Richard added with a smirk, “but I will admit, I'm not too shabby.”
As the song ended, he leaned into Fannie and gave her a long, passionate kiss. She blinked in surprise. “Wha...what was that for? I've never had a man kiss me like that before!”
“I hope not.” His smile was blinding. “You're too smart and beautiful for those dingbats you work for. Someone should help you. Fannie, I...”
Johnny's voice rang over the crowd, cutting off Richard's. “Make way for the High Queen of Nerdocrumbesia Malade and her court! All hail our Queen!”
Charles, Clifton, and Joyce broke into the Nerdocrumbesia Anthem “All Hail the Queen” as Malade strutted down the stairs. Her dark blue gown clung to her body, making her pale, powder-coated face stand out even more. The sapphire-studded collar and gems only accentuated her long swan neck and voluptuous body. Maybe it was just him, but he swore that half her face looked as if it was out of alignment with the other, that one half was a little smoother and higher than the other, but it may have been his lousy eyesight.
The four women with Malade sported gowns as frilly and pastel as Malade's was dark. Her dress popped amid their pale colors. The fourth lady-in-waiting was the tallest and the most graceful in her pink grapefruit-colored dress. She had an elegant, warm smile that made her seem far more appealing than the silly grins on two of the women in lemons and limes. The smaller redhead's smile seemed more forced; she scanned the crowd hopefully.
“She's very beautiful, too. There's something about her....” Richard tried to lean around the crowd to get a better glimpse. “Fannie, I...” But when he turned to her, she was gone. “Fannie?” He ducked around arms pushed between elbows. “Fannie?” He climbed up onto the stage. “Have either of you seen Fannie? She was right there, and then, she wasn't! I hope she didn't get lost in the crowd.”
Charles handed his lute to Clifton. “Cliff, can you and Joyce cover my exit?”
“Sure thing, man.” He grinned at Joyce. “How are you with a little soul music, oh sweet and blonde one?”
“I've never sang the music of the souls,” Joyce breathed. “It sounds wonderful!”
They found Betty sitting at a chair near one of the refreshment tables. Her frog companion ate heartily, gobbling donuts and apples from her golden plate as crumbs flew. “Shouldn't you be eating flies?” she grumbled.
“Real food is more nourishing than flies.” His tongue shot out and tugged her golden goblet filled with wine into his slimy fingers. “I'm thirsty. I want this, too.”
She sighed. “Go right ahead. I shouldn't be drinking, anyway. I need to be able to think tonight.”
“Why?” He wiped his lips with her sleeve before she pushed him away. “Aren't we at a party?”
“Yes,” Betty said with a shiver, “but my group and I have a lot of plans for tonight, and they all have to do with getting around Malade. If she sees me, I'll have to be able to escape quickly.”
“Malade?” The frog dropped the empty goblet the moment he heard her name. “She's here?” She passed by them in their procession even as he spoke. “The Queen is here?” As she passed, for a second, she seemed to look right at the frog before he darted behind Betty's shoulder.
“Don't worry.” She patted the frog's back. “This is my kingdom, not hers, and I would never harm an animal. Besides,” she added, making a face, “it's more likely she recognized me than a little frog.”
“I know you wouldn't harm an animal, fair lady,” the frog croaked. “Perhaps...” he murmured as his warty green hands rubbed her finger, “you'd consider giving me a kiss? Just a little one.”
Betty made a face. “I'm sorry, but I only kiss my husband.” The frog's face fell as he hopped up her arm. “You know, there's something...familiar...about you. I've seen those eyes before...”
“All right, you two.” Charles whined as he joined them. “Let's find that contact, before Malade takes a closer look at Betty and figures out where she's seen her before.”
As soon as the entourage settled at the golden thrones, Malade stood and waved her hands. Bursts of black and blue light went off around the room. “Hello, my citizens! Tonight, we forget our cares and dance to the music of some of the finest musicians in the entire Kingdom! But we're also here to meet a special someone, as this is the night the women of the court will choose their suitors.” She waved her scepter at Clifton. “Musicians, play us something that will get our feet moving!”
Her eyes spotted Richard pushing through the crowd, seeking Fannie. “Ahh,” she purred like a cat who found the cream, “and this is the man I wish to dance with.” The crowd parted for her as she strutted right to him. “My handsome...prince...will give the Queen the second dance of the night!”
Richard's eyes flashed angrily for a moment before he smiled and bowed deeply before her. “Your Majesty, nothing would give me more pleasure.” He hid behind his lute, getting close enough to hear what Malade and Richard were saying.
“You're a very good dancer,” the wicked queen purred, “Sir Dawson.”
His sapphire eyes blinked in confusion. “You have me mistaken for someone else, Your Majesty. I'm Prince Peter of Newkirk, and your humble servant.”
“You were never humble or a servant, Dawson.” Her fingers tightened around his so hard, his knuckles turned white. “You, Rayburn, and that musician friend of yours came here tonight with the so-called queen. Where are you hiding her?”
“I won't...” he gasped as she pushed herself closer to him, her violet eyes staring intensely into his blue ones. “I don't know where she is, and even if I did, I'd never tell you!”
“Hellooo!” Lee trilled as she tapped Malade on her shoulder. “Why Your Majesty, you know the rules! All the princes and noblemen have to mix and mingle! Let the rest of us girls have a chance with this stunning and intelligent man.”
“Yes!” Richard shook his hand, breathing hard. “Yes, I'll dance with you, Your Maidship.” He quickly bowed. “I'm sorry, Your Majesty, but maybe we'll dance another time. And maybe,” he muttered, “I'll do a tango with a crocodile while I'm at it. Might be safer.”
Malade could only bow. “Of course, Your Majesty.” She glared at Charles, who hid as well as he could behind his lute.
“Well well,” Richard grinned widely and swept Lee into his arms. “You're a far more pleasant dancing partner than that barracuda in black back there. No offense to your boss, but she doesn't know how to keep her hands to herself. I have no desire to court her. I know what she does to her lovers.”
Lee bowed for him and fluttered her fan, trying to appear demure. “Thank you, Your Highness.” She looked up from under his lashes as her face went from serene to serious. “I'm honored to dance with the great Robin Hood.”
He sighed, shaking his head. “I keep telling you, my name is Prince Peter. I don't know any Robin Hood.” They swirled out into the dance floor, thankfully staying fairly close to the stage.
She leaned on his shoulder as they swayed in time to the dreamy music. “You know, you're not a bad dancer. I wish...”
He kissed her forehead. “What do you wish?”
“That this didn't have to end. I have something important to tell you, but first, we have to find the queen. She's in danger.”
“Queen Malade?” He raised an eyebrow as the queen in question yanked a young courier with a dazed expression into her arms. “The only thing she's in danger of is pulling that poor boy's arms out of his sockets.”
“No,” Lee insisted, fluttering her fan and trying to look girlish, “I mean the real queen. The one you and your musician friend hid in plain sight.”
His eyes narrowed as he glared up at her. “Who are you?”
She curtsied again as the music ended...but her blue eyes gazed boldly up at him through soft lashes. “I am Maid Lee, the former head lady-in-waiting to Queen Betty and now one of Malade's ladies. I've been giving Fannie information on Malade's movements and that of the court for months.”
Richard's mouth tightened. “So you're her contact. Do you know where she is now?”
“No, I don't. I was going to ask you that.”
Charles handed his lute over to Clifton as a sudden roar drowned out every voice in the ballroom. “I am the Great Green Giant!” Orson burst through the front wall, his fur tangled with leaves and his wings dripping with moss. He wasn't towering anymore, but he was still three times the size of anyone else in the ballroom. “I will eat your heads...and step on your toes...and turn all of you to corn niblets!”
“This is where we come in,” Sir Bert Convy added as he slid off Orson's back, barely ruffling his stiff brown curls. “Thanks for the ride!”
“Sure...Sir Convy!” Orson showed all his teeth. “Go...turn their wallets...into real cows!” He grabbed two guards who reached for Bert and threw them into the wall, while Bert shot the floor under a group of couriers, making their heeled shoes slip and slide.
“Fight! Fight!” Gary Scarlet yelled as he jumped on the table and flung cakes and pastries at the crowd with a slingshot. “Food fight!”
“Let me help out there, Gary.” Bobby jumped onto the table eagerly, pulling Elaine with him. “We'll stay here and keep the wolves at bay. No offense to Bill when you find him,” he added as he threw a pie in the face of a fat noblewoman in a feathered dress.
“Oh well,” Elaine added with a giggle. “You know what they say. Easy pie,” she threw a coconut cream at a page's well-endowed backside, “easy go!”
Debralee soared through a window and shot bursts of water at the guards who attacked them. It ran into their armor, rusting it and stopping them in their tracks. “Hurry! Take Jo Ann with you. Joyce and I will help out here.” Clifton played a funky instrumental tune as Joyce turned herself into a light and made ivy from the garden creep into the ballroom and wrap around the guards, yanking them to the ground.
“I know how to get in the basement,” croaked the yellowish amphibian on Betty's shoulder. “And so do Betty and Maid Lee.”
“How do you know my name?” Lee raised one of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows. “I've never had a conversation with a talking frog before.”
He somehow managed to raise one of those strangely human protruding eyes. “We amphibians see more than humans realize.”
“You!” Malade soared over everyone's heads on a puff of smoke, shooting a narrow tongue of flame at Gene in the center of the room. “I thought I got rid of you!”
Gene waved his wand as fast as he could, creating a silvery breeze that blew her smoke out the hole in the wall Orson created and knocked her off her feet. “I'm a lot tougher than you think.”
“Oooh!” The queen whined as she rubbed her sore rear. “I should have killed you when I had the chance instead of turning you into a tree!”
“Brett told the truth,” he growled. “You were the one who lured me into the woods.”
“It was so easy,” she hissed. “Everyone in the kingdom knows you can't resist a pretty face. I just shifted into a new one. And now,” her hands flew out, “you will burn, worthless wizard!”
“I think,” the frog croaked, “that's our cue to get out of here.”
“There's a servant's hallway that runs along the back of the ballroom,” Lee added quickly.
“Wait.” Richard leaned over as they headed towards the ballroom. “Fannie wore this.” He scooped a glistening crystal dancing pump into his arms. “She must have lost it when she disappeared.” He turned around the room, searching for her. “I have to give this back to her. She can't be running around the ballroom with one bare foot.”
Gene put a hand on his arm. “We'll find her later. Let's free the others, before Malade recovers.” Jo Ann quickly returned to her tiny glowing form as they dashed out the door.
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