Fairy Tale Blank, Part 12

The carriage pulled into the stables at Lear Castle in the Kingdom of Columbia Eye late that evening, under a great cloud of pouring rain. “Boss!” Nipsey rushed out to greet them, the rain dripping off his rich dark skin. Bill followed, shaking the water off his fur and soaking everybody. “Where have you been? We were this close to sending the military to look for you.”

Richard leaped off the driver's seat and embraced his friend. “We had some trouble in the scrub woods outside of Columbia Eye, but we're all right now.”

Charles helped Brett out. “We could use a bath and a hot meal, though. But nothing too rich. And no candy!”

“Don't ask about the candy. It's a long story,” Brett warned with a sigh. “We need to talk to Gene and Queen Isobel as quickly as possible. Queen Malade's out for blood. She's trying to take control of every kingdom. We have to find the other three Legendary Princesses.”

The rain was coming down in great, heaving buckets when they all dashed back to main castle entrance. “Yeoww!” Bill whimpered as thunder blared in the inky-black sky. “I think Mother Nature is out to get us!”

“Stop being a scaredy wolf.” Brett rolled her eyes. “It's just a little rain and noise.”

Of course, as soon as she said this, a noisier blast sent her leaping into Charles' arms. He smirked. “Who's the scaredy wolf now?”

Brett rolled her eyes and smacked his arm lightly. “It just surprised me, that's all. Come on. Let's get inside, before we end up soaked again.”

The gates were still open when they made it into the front door of the largest building. “Whew!” Richard panted. “We're lucky we didn't get fried. We could have been lightning rods out there.” As he looked up, he noticed Nipsey peering over his shoulder. “What is it, mate? Some poor animal caught in the storm?”

“No.” Nipsey grabbed a tapestry hanging on the wall and the rope that held it there. “I swear I saw someone swimming the moat.”

“What?” Brett wrinkled her nose. “On a night light this?”

Charles frowned. “Maybe you saw a fish.”

“No, he's right.” Lightning sizzled across the sky as Richard tugged another tapestry and rope over his head. “He's going to need help.”

As it turned out, the person in the moat didn't need help, from them or anyone. They'd already dragged themselves onto the muddy bank when the two men arrived. “Well, hello there,” the woman puffed. “You boys my welcoming committee?”

Nipsey blinked. Richard put out a hand. “You might say that, lass. I'm...er, Richard. This is Nipsey. What's your name?”

“Della.” She accepted his hand...and had such a strong grip that he almost landed in the moat! “Sorry about that. Sometimes, I don't know what this strength of mine will do.”

Nipsey grabbed Richard's collar before he took a dive. “Watch out, boss. You don't want to go in there. Might be crocodiles.” He then grinned and took Della's arm. “How would the prettiest lady in Columbia Eye like an escort into the castle? I could even introduce you to my cousin, Queen Isobel.”

She chuckled and fluttered her eyelashes, trying to look coy. “Oh, would you?”

“Well, right now, we'd best get out of the rain, before we all end up as sodden as poor Della.” Richard held the dripping tapestry over their heads. “Last one in the castle is a wet carp!”

While not as sprawling as Password Palace, Lear Castle was quite impressive. It was also drafty. They strolled down five hallways with thick carpeting and heavy drapes that still somehow managed to move in stormy breezes. They had a hard time keeping up with Nipsey and his new lady friend. His stride was long and powerful. She wasn't as tall as him, but she moved quickly and gracefully for a woman of her size.

“Mistress...” Charles began, but she cut him off with a bark of laughter that shook the portraits of the royal family's ancestors hanging up on the walls.

“Oh honey, you can call me Della. I don't go in for all that formal talk.” She lead the others down the hallway, carpeted in soft gold and red Oriental rugs. “I must to talk to Queen Isobel. That's why I'm here. The lightning spooked my horse, and he threw me. I had to walk the rest of the way, then take a dip in the small lake back there to get in!”

The throne room was intimate and boxy, with just two velvet gold-leaf chairs and more portraits. A well-built older woman, with sable skin and flashing dark eyes, reclined on the smaller of the two. Gene chatted with her on the other. “Cousin Isobel,” Nipsey said with a grin, “it's nice to see you again. Been a long time since I came around these parts. Place hasn't changed much.”

“No, it hasn't. And we intend to keep it that way.” Isobel gave him a huge hug first, then smirked at the wizard beside her. “Gene, you old charmer. How are you? Looking as good as always.”

“Not half as good as you, Your Majesty.” Gene bowed and kissed her hand. “I'm afraid my friends and I are here on a mission. We were hoping to gain your support against Malade.”

Isobel yanked her hand away and glared at him. “I knew there was a reason you were trying to be cute. Nothing doing. We heard what happened to Nerdocrumbesia and the Summerlands when they were invaded. I don't want that man-stealin' witch to come over here, too.”

“But Cuz,” Nipsey started, “if we all work together...”

“Forget it.” Isobel shook her head so hard, her tiara almost flew off. “There's no way I'm risking our people against her. I've heard what she can do.”

“I don't blame you, Your Majesty.” Bill emerged from behind Gene, trembling like a leaf. “Look at what she did to me! I used to be a man, until she...” His throat suddenly closed as he tried to get the words out. “She...st...stole...my...” The last words came out as helpless whines.

Isobel petted Bill's head. “See what I mean? I don't want to end up in a fur coat my suitors didn't buy.”

“That won't happen,” Della assured her. “I've come from the Kingdom of the Peacock to offer my services and that of our army.”

Nipsey's dark eyes widened as he stared at her. “You're a princess?”

“You're the Legendary Princess of Strength.” Brett gave a grin of her own. “I've heard of you. Your Majesty,” she went on to Isobel, “I know about Legendary Princesses. I'm one myself. Lying's not in our vocabulary.”

“Except about her age,” Charles muttered. Brett elbowed him and nodded at Isobel. This was no time for insults. They had to make a good impression on the queen.

“Snowy, I know who you are. I know what happened with your stepmother.” She raised an eyebrow at Della. “I'm not sure about the other two. You don't look like a princess to me, and neither does the redhead and her buddy who are making goo-goo eyes at each other in my parlor.”

Della put her hands on her hips and made a face. “There has to be some way we can prove to you that we're all on the level. If we don't put our heads together, and soon, we're going to be up to our ears in smelly dumb trolls.”

“There is something.” Isobel looked up with a small smirk. “It's been a long time since anyone's had to do anything like this. A princess test.”

Della's voice squeaked slightly. “A what?”

“A test?” Gene made a face. “Isobel, what does she need a test for? She only swam the moat to get here! How much more dedication do you want?”

“That doesn't sound like princess behavior to me!” Isobel lifted her long lace and silk skirts and filigree wrap and lead them down the hall. “Princesses are some of the most delicate and sensitive beings on the planet. They're so sensitive, they can feel a single lump in a mattress.”

“So give me a lumpy mattress!” Della shoved her bulk into the queen's face. “I'll feel it. My mattress at home is so smooth, you could bounce a skipping stone off it. Of course, it's also pretty strong. I'm not a small woman.”

“You and the other princess, the big-eyed redhead who doesn't talk, are going to sleep in here tonight.” The queen brought them into a massive bedroom. “This is your bed. Or beds, as the case may be.” A huge bed piled high with twenty downy mattresses dominated the room. The mattresses were so fluffy and thick, they nearly hit the ceiling!

Della tugged at the ladder leading up to the top mattress. “This doesn't seem that sturdy. Can it hold my weight and the other woman's for twenty mattresses?”

“I agree.” Nipsey made a face. “I don't like this. What if they roll off the bed and kill themselves? There's no railings or anything up there.”

Isobel nodded thoughtfully. “I was going to post guards at the door to make sure the ladies stay in and no one bothers them. You can keep an eye on them and put more mattresses around the perimeter, just in case they do fall. Keep the dog with you. He'll make a dandy alarm if anyone tries anything.”

“I'll help, too.” Charles shrugged. “I can sing them to sleep.”

“The rest of us will stay with Isobel.” Gene murmured in Charles' ear. “You three keep an eye on the ladies. We'll keep talking to Isobel and see if we can get anywhere with her. We need her army if we're going to deal with Malade.”

That night, Nipsey and Charles helped Della and Patti up the ladder to the very, very tall mattresses. Isobel held the ladder herself before quickly adding something tiny and round under the mattress on the bottom. It was so tiny, Charles thought he imagined it.

He told Nipsey about it when they were standing in the quiet, empty hall, Bill standing at attention between them. “Why would Cuz do that?”

“That's the test.” Charles softly strummed the lute. “That's what they're supposed to feel.”

“But under 20 mattresses?” The larger man leaned against the wall. “I don't get all of this, anyway. All of this magic. All I know is, Della's one heck of a lady.”

Bill howled softly with a wolfish grin. “I think you like her! Go kiss her or something. Maybe you'll wake her up and marry her!”

“Whoa! Down boy!” Nipsey threw up his hands. “Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'll kiss her, sure. When I'm ready, and she's ready, and we've gotten to know each other better. Couple of letters, couple of jokes, maybe a little arm wrestling, a night on the town. Maybe I'll send her a few joke books. I like a woman with a sense of humor.”

Bill nodded. “I almost...well, I was writing a girl named Beauty. When I was human, anyway. We wrote each other back and forth for two years. Her writing was wonderful. Charming, witty, smart...I always looked forward to getting her letters. It got to the point where I finally asked her for a date, and she said yes, and I was going to ask her to marry me, but...” He stared morosely at the floor. “Then Malade invaded, and she...well, she did this to me. I never went on that date, or got to propose. Bet Beauty hates me now. She probably thinks I stood her up.”

Charles got on his knees and put an arm around him. “I'll bet she doesn't. If someone really loves you, they'll understand it wasn't your fault.”

“I don't even know what she looks like, and she never saw me,” the canine wailed. “But I could feel something, even from her writing. I knew she was the one. I just knew. But Malade...”

Nipsey rubbed his back. “Don't worry, old timer. We'll find you a good woman to change you back. You ain't gonna stay fuzzy forever.”

“You think they're asleep by now?” Charles yawned. “Maybe we'd better get some shut-eye, too. Just for a little while.” He reached over and stroked Bill again...and heard a great snore. The wolf had curled up in a ball, sound asleep.

“Well, it don't seem to hurt him none,” Nipsey noted with a soft chuckle. “I don't think a few minutes would hurt.” Broad shoulders leaned back against the stone wall.

“Yeah.” The minstrel settled on the floor, his eyes already half-closed. “Night, Nipsey. Night...Bill...”

He lay his head on Bill's back and dropped into a deep sleep.

When his eyes fluttered open again, he had a crick in his neck, a stiff spine, and dog breath in his nose. “Hey there, buddy! Come on!” Bill's rough pink tongue slurped his cheeks. “We have to check in on the ladies. What if someone tried to make off with them in the middle of the night?”

Nipsey yawned so wide, Charles was sure his mouth would dislocate. “Yeah. Gotta see if they slept better than we did. My neck's killin' me.”

Sunlight fluttered over the towering stack of mattresses as Charles timidly opened the door. “Ladies? Are you all right?”

“They're probably still out.” Nipsey went right to the ladder. “I don't think anyone would complain if we made sure they were sleeping.” He shimmied up the rungs before Charles could stop him.

He could hear Nipsey heaving when he finally made it to the top. “I thought...I was...in good shape...guess I need...to climb more ladders...”

“Well?” Charles called as he grasped the ladder, making sure his friend didn't fall off. “Are they out?”

There was a gasp from the mattress as Nipsey rolled on it. A lump on the other end tossed and turned. “You're gorgeous, Della.” She lay under a knitted cotton blanket on one end, her rosy face sweet and placid. “No princess could be as beautiful, nor strong in heart and body, as you. No heart could love so hard and so true.” Bill and Charles sighed romantically as Nipsey leaned over for a long, deep kiss. Charles pulled out his lute and softly played a gentle love song.

It wasn't that long. He'd only touched her lips for a second before she smiled and got on one elbow. “Did you really mean that? I mean, I didn't come here to fall in love, but you're not hard on the eyes, and I never heard anyone who could come up with love poetry on the spot like that.”

“Well, you're not bad-looking, either.” He sat on the side, letting his long thick legs dangle over the edge of the bedding. “I don't know why Cuz doesn't believe you. I think you're a princess. You n' the redhead n' Mistress Brett look more like royalty than some fragile flower would.”

“Thanks.” She sighed. “Have you had as much trouble as I did sleeping?” Her foot nudged the lump at the foot of the bed. “This one didn't sleep, either. Come on, hon. You can get up now.”

“Patti?” Donald called. “I was hoping we could have breakfast together...” He nearly ran into the mattress, cigar and all, before his gaze rolled to the top. “Uh...isn't that kind of high to sleep in, hon?” A pale hand waved over the edge of the mattress before disappearing under the blanket. “Need help getting down?” The hand waved quickly in what looked like the closest thing a hand could get to “no.”

Nipsey peered over the side. “I'll help them down, Don. Don't worry. You'll have your mermaid there in time to share apple pancakes with her.” He slowly put an arm around Della. “You know...it's kind of comfy up here.” He flopped on the mattress, frowning. “I don't feel anything. In fact, I may not leave.”

“Then you sleep up here.” Della started down the ladder. “I'm going to breakfast, and I need to talk to Isobel. I'm covered in bruises.” She tugged at Patti's ankle. “You coming, or what? Your boyfriend's down there. I think he expects to eat with you.” The redheaded former mermaid finally poked her head from under the blanket, cracked open her bleary blue eyes, and followed Della and Nipsey down the ladder.

“Wait.” Della stopped after she got off. “Before I get dressed, there's something I want to check out. Felt a little...thing...down there.” To everyone's shock, she lifted nineteen of the twenty mattresses as easily as if they were feathers. “Aha!” Her fist closed over a tiny object. “I knew it! So that's the 'test.'” She took Nipsey's arm. “How about we go get dressed now? I need to have a chat with your cousin.”

They met Richard, Brett, Gene, and Isobel at the polished oak table in the main dining room. It was so long, it ran the entire length of the room. Gene argued with Isobel, who resided at the head of the table, as they spread their butter over toasty muffins. Richard occasionally put in his own comments between bites of pancakes dripping with juicy apples, and Brett sometimes added her own perspective.

“Good morning, ladies.” Isobel looked up as Della and Patti entered with Nipsey and Donald on their arms. Charles brought up the rear. Bill settled in a corner, enjoying chopped ham and cheese. “Sleep well?”

Della made a face as she dropped in the chair between Brett and Nipsey. “Sleep? What's that? I tossed and turned all night. Every time I closed my eyes, I kept feeling it.”

“It?” Isobel raised an eyebrow and tried to look innocent. “What do you mean by 'it'?”

“This little lump in the mattress.” Della bit into a muffin, smacking her lips before continuing. “I couldn't get away from it. I'm probably black and blue now.”

Donald turned to Patti, who stared at her pancakes like she'd never seen them before. “What about you, honey?” Her response was to fall face-first into her plate of food. “Um, sorry about that.” He rubbed her back as she somehow managed to silently snore. “I don't think she slept last night, either.”

“Good.” Isobel handed Della the marmalade. “That was my intention. You passed the test.”

“Of course she did.” Brett rolled her eyes. “I tried to tell you from the start she's a real princess! I can spot a Legendary Princess from a mile away.” Patti jolted awake, dazedly wiping honey off her cheek.

“Wait. Test?” Della's hand went under the pad on Isobel's chair. “You mean this test?”

“Yes.” Isobel's eyes widened as she moved around in her chair. “I'm sorry, but I just can't get comfortable! This little lump keeps following me...” She tried a few small hops...which dislodged a tiny green speck onto the stone floor.

“A pea.” Della held up the pale green ball. “I found it before we left the room. I knew there was something under the bed last night, so I moved a few mattresses and stuck my hand under there.”

“You...moved twenty mattresses?” Isobel pushed her plate aside to stare at the woman. “How did you do that?”

“Nineteen, actually. And I did it like this.” She easily hoisted Isobel's chair into the air, holding it on the tip of her pinky finger. “Now do you believe me?”

Nipsey smirked as the others chuckled or gasped. “Hon, you don't need to show off like that.”

“Ok, ok!” The queen clutched the seat of her chair, her eyes wide. “I believe you! Put me down!”

Brett shook her head as Della roughly dropped the queen on the stone floor. “Isobel, we can't do this alone. Malade has every guard in Nerdocrumbesia at her disposal, not to mention hundreds of trolls and demons. Us princesses can handle her, but we're going to need help dealing with her armies.”

Isobel frowned. “I'd like to help. I don't want Malade coming here, but I heard what happened in the Summerlands. They border Columbia Eye. Malade blasted through Summer-Winter Castle and made everyone in the place just...vanish. Disappear. No one knows what happened to Prince William, the ruler of the kingdom. We think she either killed him, or he's rotting in her dungeons.”

“No!” Bill looked up from slurping chopped bacon and beef bits off a gold-rimmed plate. “He's...I know...she...h...he...”

Charles dropped his fork and knelt down next to Bill's food dish. “What is it, boy? What do you know about Prince William? You look terrified. More than usual.”

Bill opened his mouth to explain, but it came out as a wolf's howl. He finally returned to his breakfast, whimpering between bites. Charles settled for giving him a scratch between the ears.

“Look, we could argue this all year.” Della stepped up to Isobel, shoving her chest in her face. “You can help us, or get invaded anyway.”

Nipsey took her hand. “Cuz, we're all in this together. Just like me n' my boss Rich here, n' our boys. We work together to help everybody. If you don't do this, Malade will probably end up invadin' whether you like it or not. She's close to our turf.”

Patti nodded as she finished a muffin. She puckered her lips for a hopeful kiss...and looked a big disappointed when all she got was a big smooch on the cheek from Donald before he returned to his pancakes.

“Look, I think we ought to split up again,” Gene insisted as he pushed his breakfast plate aside. “Brett, Richard, Charles, Bill and I will continue to search the kingdoms for the remaining two Legendary Princesses. Even if they don't have armies of their own, they'll at least have powers to bring to the table, and may have some new ideas of how to deal with Malade.”

Della nodded. “Good idea. The rest of us will hit Andersen Bay and see what we can do about forming that army.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

“You sure you don't want a fancier rig?” Nipsey helped Charles hitch a horse to the small wooden carriage in the stables later that morning. “Cuz would probably be willin' to loan you anythin' in the stables, and they're all more comfortable than this.”

“We don't need to attract attention," Gene explained as he climbed into the driver's seat. “From here on out, we're ordinary travelers.” He'd traded his orange and blue robes for a simple blue tunic and hose with a well-tailored but not especially fancy gray coat. “I have an old friend named Bill Cullen who lives in a little village called Villenveuve. It's not far from here, on the border of the Summerlands and Columbia Eye.”

Brett gave Patti a hug. “Watch out for Malade.” She frowned as the young woman's fingers flew. “Don't worry. Donald's kind of nuts, but he loves you. I can tell. I don't think he'll have any problems kissing you before the week is out. The way he's been looking at you, he may want to make love before the day is out!”

Donald helped Richard load their supplies, including his bow and a fresh pack of arrows and the lute, onto the back of the carriage. “I'm sure gonna miss you, Boss.” Donald patted his shoulder, smoke wafting from a new cigar. “It's been a trip.”

“I will too, Donald, but these folks need you here. Patti needs you here.” He leaned over and whispered into his ear. “Patti's a little odd, but she's wild about you. See if you can get her alone for a kiss. You might be surprised at what you find.”

Hearts lit up Donald's eyes as he watched Patti grin at some dirty joke of Brett's. “You know...maybe I will.”

“All right, folks.” Della helped Bill into the carriage, handing them a container of meat scraps for his food. “You just follow the Beaumont River, then when you hit the fork in the road, take the left side to Villenveuve. I wish all of you the best of luck!”

Gene shook her hand as Richard climbed in beside him and Charles got into the coach with Brett. “And I wish you luck in convincing Isobel how important it is to help.”

“Oh, don't worry about me.” Nipsey put an arm around her, and she turned a million-watt smile on him. “I have all this help here. Shouldn't take too long.”

Gene shook the reins. “Tell Isobel we thank her for her hospitality and for taking us in. She's helped us more than she could ever know.” The two couples followed the carriage over the moat, waving until it could no longer be seen on the horizon.