Tales of the Gold Wookie, Part 10

All of Hollywood came out that night for the debut of Yasmin Hutt's newest “ceremony.” Leia was angry as heck. Not to mention under-dressed. The brick and sienna dance costumes, with their gold beaded straps, metal ornaments, and heavy plumed headgear, had less to do with real Alderaanian or Aztec ceremonies than with Hollywood Tarzan movies. Two bodyguards had been outside the door at all times, to make sure she didn't try to run. Luke was in the men's dressing room. She just hoped this “plan” he claimed to have really worked. Her brother wasn't known for being the most organized person on the planet. Until the last few weeks, she'd always been the one who made the plans.

“Charel! Luke?” Leia stepped out into the backstage area and into the busy main dining room, ignoring several whistles from the men at the tables. “Where are you?”

“Miss Leia?” Clarence came from the kitchen, his anxious reddish face almost glowing against his yellow suit. His brown eyes almost popped out of their sockets when he spied her dance costume. “Miss Leia, does your godmother know you're wearing that? That's indecent! It's barely beads and feathers!”

Leia tugged the beads further over her bosom, at least as much as she could get away with. “I don't like it either, but that's the costume. I don't have a choice.” She frowned, trying to strain over heads to see a familiar handsome scoundrel. “Where's Harry? Not to mention Charel and the others.”

“Well, I'm right here, kiddo.” Artie came around in his white jacket, pushing a drink cart covered in a white damask tablecloth. “What'll it be? Whiskey? Bourbon? Thank god they passed Prohibition a few years ago and we can all drink real booze again. We're going to need it after tonight.”

Clarence gaped at him. “What are you doing?”

“Serving drinks, Goldie.” Artie shoved a shot glass under his nose. “Have some brandy. On the house. You look like you need it.”

Clarence shoved it away. “I can see you're serving drinks, but this place is dangerous! Mrs. Hutt intends to execute Miss Leia and Mr. Luke tonight, and if we're not careful, it'll be our necks on the line next.”

“Calm down, Goldie. You look like you're about ready to bust a gasket.” His short friend patted the cart. “Luke n' me got it all under control. You go find Larry an' tell him we're ready to go as soon as the ceremony starts.”

“I sure hope so.” Leia made a face as two waiters openly ogled her scanty costume. “I'd better get backstage, before they miss me. Besides, the ceremony should start any minute.”

Barry Fortune grabbed Clarence's arm. “Boss lady wants you to announce the ceremony. Something about her being busy with getting Solomon into his costume.” He smirked knowingly. “Or lack thereof.”

“Very well.” Fortune returned to the orchestra as they finished the last note of “Thanks for the Memories.” The drums started up again as Clarence addressed the crowd.

“Tonight, everyone,” he began in his slightly pompous tones, “we have a treat for you. The gods are taking not just a bride, but a bride and a groom! We have two fortunate vict...virgins who will be given to our gods in a union of souls and a meeting of minds and hearts.”

Leia came out with the dancers, trying to keep up with them and wave a fan that was almost bigger than she was. It wasn't easy. At least two of the other women gave her short kicks when she fell out of step. She was never going to think of all the dancing Eleanor Powell did in all her MGM musicals as “easy” ever again.

This time, Yasmin had two men with her on the litter. Leia drew in her breath in surprise when she saw Harry. He was likely dressed as Yasmin's idea of an Alderaanian slave, in little more than a beaded fringed loincloth with a gold collar around his neck. Yasmin, resplendent in her crystal beads and towering headdress, yanked him into her arms. The Sword of Wisdom glittered in a leather scabbard by her side. Luke sat on the other divan, his wrists chained behind his back. He wore a plain dark tunic, but his blue eyes, rather than being empty, showed angry fire.

Charel brought up the rear with the remaining dancers. He certainly looked the part of an Alderaanian warrior, with his deeply tanned skin and wild brown mane and beard. He wore a fake leopard skin pelt and loincloth with a leather bandoleer and an authentic-looking bow and quiver of arrows. He did not dance, despite being nudged several times. Roberto Fettara was with him, his leopard skin thrown over his regular suit, a very real gun pointed at his side.

Clarence joined Yasmin onstage as she lead Harry to her bamboo “throne” on his golden leash. Roberto pushed Harry down on silken pillows, close enough to Yasmin for her to absently stroke his head and scratch his ear like he was a puppy. His chain was tied to the arm of her throne so she could occasionally tug him closer and whisper what she planned to do with him that night in her ear. Harry tried to look vacant, but he couldn't hide how disgusted he was.

Luke didn't dance, either. He had no solo like Oola did. He was surprisingly calm as two of the male dancers removed the ropes around his wrists and dragged him to the “stone” table. Two more took Leia's arms. She let them, remembering what Luke had told her earlier that afternoon when they were locked in Yasmin's basement.

Yasmin gave her opening speech about this being the Kingdom of the Aztecs and the audience witnessing a “bridal” ceremony. “Today, the gods are most fortunate!” Her sneer at Luke made her resemble a savage blond warrior in a costume from a Dorothy Lamour jungle epic. “We have two mates for them, a sister and brother who have so pleased the gods that they wish to have them for their own!”

“Yasmin!” Luke yelled over the crowd. “You claim you are a warrior and a chief, but you are no leader! The gods favor the side of light, the righteous path, yet you seek to use their power for harm!” He pointed a tanned finger in her directions. “The gods will punish you, and all those who abuse the light!”

Leia rolled her eyes. Her brother could be the world's biggest ham sometimes, and he loved every minute of it. She used the distraction to inch closer to Yasmin's throne and the Sword of Wisdom, covering it up with a fluttering of her fan.

Yasmin was even less impressed. She merely yawned and tugged at Harry's gold chain, ignoring his glare. “I'm sure that the golds and I don't care about what some lesser being says.”

“And now,” the female gangster announced as Luke and Leia were dragged to the table, “the gods will come for their bride and groom.” She tugged the Sword out of the scabbard and began waving it around Luke's eyes. “For the groom is going to become very sleepy.” She looked up as she pulled the sword up to the audience's level. “Perhaps, so will all of you. Why don't you all take a look at the Sword...”

“No!” Leia managed to pull away from the men long enough to give Yasmin a sharp kick in her right shin. She wailed and dropped the Sword on the floor, under the table. Luke leaped from the table, which was the signal Artie had been waiting for. He delicately pulled the Sword of Light out from under the drink cart and tossed it to Luke, then shoved it aside and hurried to help Harry get the gold collar off his neck.

“You bitch!” Yasmin grabbed at Leia's throat as the audience cheered. “You ruined my plan!”

Leia tried to shove her away and focus enough to make the Sword come to her at the same time. “Putting everyone under mind control, so you can swipe their valuables and force them into unwanted deals. What were you planning for an encore, forcing them to kneel and kiss your feet?”

“Not a bad idea, but no.” Yasmin elbowed Leia hard in her side. She rolled away, gasping, as Yasmin grabbed the Sword. Leia could see Luke cutting through the plywood staffs that were the closest things to weapons the dancers had, even as Yasmin held the Sword to her neck. “Call off that mongrel brother of yours and get back on that table, before I slice you in half, or regress you so far back into childhood, you'll be in the womb.”

Leia didn't even have the time to get to her feet. A big, hairy fist slammed over Yasmin's head, knocking her to the floor. Charel stood behind her, looking every inch the savage native warrior of Hollywood jungle epics in his spotted pelt and bandoleer.

“Nice shot, Char.” Harry stood next to him, now wearing a white shirt with his loincloth. He and his navigator yanked Yasmin back on her feet by her arms. “You thought you could treat me like some lap dog, didn't you, lady? I just sent Artie to call the cops and a couple of friends of ours. It's over. I'm not your pet, I'm not your plaything, and I'm not your employee anymore, either. Consider our working relationship ended. In other words, I quit!” Charel growled his agreement.

Yasmin sneered at him. “You still owe me money, darling.”

“I'll take care of that.” Leia held up the Sword of Wisdom at her neck. Luke backed into her, trying to hold off four dancers and Yasmin's pig guards. “Harry...uh, Warrior, go see if you can find Laurenz, your fellow, er, fighter, and head off the evil Robertar of the Fett tribe.” She nudged him. “In other words, go find Larry and Roberto Fettara, before Fettara skips town.”

“Sure, sweetheart.” He gave her a passionate kiss onstage that encouraged more than a few whistles and made her tingle to the tips of her toes. Charel grabbed two of the dancers before they could get Harry, who hurried offstage, pushing through the crowds.

“It's over, evil sorceress,” Leia hissed. “You'll never again cast your foul spells upon this tribe.” Charel wrestled with four of the guards, while Luke managed to knock the remaining dancers off the stage and into the crowd. Everyone was cheering like crazy, thinking it was all part of the act. “You were planning to place everyone in the room...tribe under your spell as well, weren't you?”

“Of course.” Yasmin gazed down the flat, crystal-studded blade. “Could you put that thing down, please? I'd rather have crystals around my neck than in them.”

Leia pushed close to her, so the audience couldn't hear. “Not until you sell that illegal collection of yours to legitimate museums, where real people will be able to see and learn from them, not just some floozy.”

“Floozy!” Yasmin lunged for her, grabbing at the Sword. “I'll show you a floozy! Sword, erase her mind!”

“No!” Leia struggled, trying to yank it away. “It wants me! You can't control it!”

The dim greenish light that had been gathering as they fought flowed around her, but it would not touch her. “Sword,” she screamed, “I command you to do as I tell you! Kill Dr...the slave girl and bring her brother and warrior lover to me!”

“Um,” Luke started backing away as the light grew brighter and wavier, “I really think you girls should, um, put that down. It's not looking so good.”

“Yeah, doll.” Barry Fortune pulled next to him as the light seemed to distort and bubble around them. “There's something going on with that over-sized knife, and I don't think it's a special effect.”

“NO!” Yasmin tried to pull away, but the light seemed to wrap around her neck, then pulling down. “I can't...this is mine...could take over...so many deals...”

“No, Hutt.” Leia held the sword over her head, her voice of a much deeper timbre than usual. The audience almost fell over themselves at the spectacle. “This magic was not and has never been yours. It is for those who seek to aid mankind, not to gain profit for themselves. You are not worthy of the Sword or the tribe of Alderaan!”

Yasmin choked, her tongue flopping out as Leia yanked the Sword and the sparkling light throttled her delicate neck. Luke held Barry back with his sword, holding it up to his neck. The audience gasped and clapped as the light surrounded them and became too bright for anyone to see. When the light vanished, nothing but dust, feathers, and tiny gold beads lay on the floor where Yasmin had been.

“Oh...” Leia's gasped as the audience cheered. “Oh, my god...it...the Sword....Luke, did you see...”

Her brother put his hand on her shoulder, his own face the color of the ashes on the floor. “I saw, sis. I don't like it, but there's nothing we can do for her now. Come on. Let's go help Harry and see if Artie's arrived with the police.” They pushed through a wildly applauding audience and the remaining goons who were gaping at the stage and the remains of their bosses. Two poked around in the ashes with their toes, muttering that the Boss Lady never told them she could do that.

They emerged in the gold and sienna sunburst lobby just in time to see Harry's fist knock Roberto Fettara across the room. He smashed into one of the glittering sunbursts with a noisy thud. Charel grabbed him by his pelt as Harry helped Laurence to his feet. “Sorry I couldn't get out here sooner. We were busy inside.”

Laurence rubbed the back of his neck. “That's all right. You came at just the right time. Ol' Bobert there,” he nodded at Fettara, “was going to fill me with lead and turn me over to Yasmin for fun.”

“Trust me, you don't want to do that. Despite what you may have heard, Yasmin is not a fun woman.” Harry smirked and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. “On one hand, I do owe you for helping the kids and the others to rescue me. On the other hand, were the one who got me into this mess in the first place...”

“Harry, no! We're friends!” Laurence didn't duck quick enough. Harry's uppercut knocked him on the other side of the room with Fettara, just as Artie barged in the doors with Yoda, Agent Rieekien, and almost every officer he could grab on the Sunset Strip that night.

“Done well, you have.” Yoda looked around as the cops cuffed Fettara and hauled him away. “Told me you stopped the show, Arthur did.”

“You might say that.” Leia frowned. “Dr. Chiang, I, er, killed a woman. Or I suppose you might say the swords did. It was like the Force was commanding me. It didn't like what she was doing any more than I did.”

“Yasmin Hutt is dust on the floor.” Luke croaked, his voice barely a whisper. “We didn't know it would do that!”

“Threatened you, she did. Always remembers, the Force does.” Yoda shook his head. “When the sword you wield, one with it, you become. The more you hold the Swords, the closer you bond with its powers.”

“How about we discuss this elsewhere?” Harry made a face. “First of all, my legs are cold. I want to get into pants. Second, I'd like to put some distance between us and what used to be Yasmin, before the cops start to ask questions we can't answer.”

“I don't know.” Leia managed to give him a grin. “I like your legs like that. You have good legs.”

Harry rolled his eyes as Artie snickered and Charel went to a moaning Laurence. “I have skinny legs.”

Artie looked up as he, Charel, and Laurence joined the group. “Hey, where's Clarence? I haven't seen him since he announced the show.”

“In there somewhere, he must be.” Yoda opened the doors as the police went to question the audience and Lieutenant Madine reassured everyone that everything was fine. “Force-sensitive, he is not. Disappear into thin air, he cannot.”

As it turned out, Clarence was pretty easy to find. Artie and Luke discovered him under a table, the bottles from the drink cart surrounding him. His gold suit reeked of brandy and rum. “Is it over yet,” he slurred as he looked up from a bottle of brandy.

“It's over.” Artie smirked. “We won, of course. Yasmin's history.”

“Oh, that's good.” Clarence rolled over, pulled the soft yellow tablecloth over his knees, and closed his eyes. “Wake me when the show's over.”

Artie and Luke just sighed, reached under the table, and dragged their friend out as the police swarmed around the room and Yasmin's pig goons continued to poke at the remains of the ambitious woman racketeer.