The Adventures of Han of the Hood, Part 5

Nottingham Castle was as vast and dim as it was when he'd gone there with Luke and old Friar Ben, so many months ago. It was also quiet. The only noise came from the melee in the courtyard. He swore he heard the patter of small feet, and then a few small giggles, but that might have been his imagination.

“This is too easy, old one.” The outlaw's hand went to the hilt of the sword he had taken from a fallen guard.

“Agree, I do.” Yoda leaned on his own stick, frowning. “Hear noise, I do. Clang of metal, and...small feet pattering.” He winced as a crash was heard behind them. “Kind to stained-glass windows, they were not.”

No sooner had Yoda spoken those words than another platoon of king's guards surrounded them. “Robin Hood!” A tall, slender man in the gray armor of an admiral yanked out his own sword. “Gentlemen, it would seem we've caught ourselves a thief in the act of robbing the castle. Take their weapons, check both of them for stolen goods, and throw them in the dungeon. The Prince will deal with them later.”

Han's fingers went into the air. “Now, wait a minute, lads. Can't we talk this over?”

“The time for talking is done, Hood.” The admiral gave him a small smirk. “I think Sheriff Vader will be most pleased when he learns I've taken care of you.”

That was when Han happened to look over the Admiral's shoulder...and hear the sound of dozens of pattering feet. “I think they're more interested in taking care of you, Admiral!”

The moment he turned his head, Han gave him a hard right in the face that sent him crashing against the wall. His hand pressed against a lever...which brought down a large unlit chandelier on five very surprised guards!

A wild war whoop came from the hall as the people who were selling goods on the fairgrounds spilled in. Many carried arrows, hatchets, or their own pots and pans. Artoo dashed under the legs of guards, making them trip over each other. Thomas hobbled on one foot as he tried to follow his canine friend.

“Chewbacca!” Han laughed as his hulking friend smashed two guards together. “Where have you been?” The big moor wrapped his arms around Han, giving him the biggest embrace he possibly could. His friend sneezed through all the hair. “I can't see through those iron rods you call arms, my friend. Where's Leia? Is Luke all right?”

He was even happier to see Leia with her bow and arrows, shooting down another chandelier. Her fine red dress had several rips and her face was dirty, but Han had never seen her lovelier...or angrier. “Han, we have to go after Luke. My friend Mr. Warrick here,” she nodded at the dwarfish youth in the heavy apron by her side, “saw Vader dragging a young man into the castle just a half-hour ago.”

“Aye, lass, I agree with that.” He made a face. “There's just one problem. We don't know where he's taken him.”

Thomas managed to hobble over, his hands on Artoo's leash. “Artoo can find him,” he assured them. “He's an expert tracker.”

“Have no other choice.” Yoda patted Artoo on the head and let him lick his hand. “Follow this animal, we must. His nose can sniff things ours cannot.”

“All right.” Han took Artoo's leash as Thomas leaned on Chewbacca. “Lead the way, pup.” Leia put a bit of Luke's red cape under the bluish-white dog's nose, so he'd know the scent.

Artoo's nose dropped to the wood and stone floor, sniffing around noisily. “What is it, boy?” Thomas hobbled over as his pet howled, then bounded to the staircase. “I think he says that Luke's trail leads up the staircase, along with that of Sheriff Vader and Prince Palpatine.”

“Let's get up there, now.” Han pulled out his bow. “And everyone be careful. If you have a weapon, don't hesitate to use it.”

The little white dog snuffled his nose right up the stairs, going all the way to the last floor. The others followed the energetic pup, with towering Chewbacca and diminutive Mr. Warrick helping the still-lame Thomas. The little dog finally stopped by a heavy door at the very end of the hall on the top floor, getting up on his hind legs and scratching.

Han frowned as the sound of clanging and cackling could be heard. “I think the lad is in trouble.” He turned to his towering moor companion. “Chewie, would you do the honor?”

The big man in the red robes and bandolier nodded, growled a bit in his language, and wrapped his ham-sized fist in cloth torn from his robe. The others stood back as he slammed it straight through the wood, reaching in to open it and allow the others inside.

They came in just as Sheriff Vader shoved Luke against the wall. The lad's familiar red cape was in tatters, his borrowed sword skittering behind him. Leia and Han rushed to him as Artoo ran to Vader, tugging at his cape. “Luke?” Leia handed him his sword. “What's going on? Are you all right?”

“Aye, lad.” Han put his hand on his young friend's shoulders. “If Vader's harmed ye...”

“No, I'm not all right.” Luke turned to Yoda as Han and Leia helped him to his feet. “You lied to us, Friar! To Leia and to me!”

“You did me a great service, Hood.” Vader held his heavy sword with the flashing blood-red blade at the quartet. “Bringing me my daughter and son. If you turn them over to me, I may even get Baron Du Hutt to lift your debts.”

Han lifted his chin nobly. “Not a chance, Metal Pants.” His eyes widened as the first half of his words registered. Leia's face was equally shocked. “Your daughter? You mean...Leia...”

“I am no child of yours!” Leia leaped in front of Luke and whipped out her own bow and arrow. “I'd rather be the child of a frog than you!”

There was the hint of a smile under that black visor. Vader's sausage fingers touched Leia's soft cheek. “You're so much like her. Padme...you have her smile, her eyes. I should have known her half-brother would try to protect her...”

“She died!” Leia nearly shrieked. “Died when I was less than a year old. Died because you attacked her! She never recovered from her wounds.”

Palpatine's cackle echoed over the heavy stone walls. “Of course, she didn't. It's rather difficult to recover from being strangled and thrown to the ground.” He reached for Leia as Vader went after Luke. “Give them to us, Solo. Yes, I know who you are. Your father was as worthless as you. I was glad when Hutt sent Gisbourne to eliminate him. Discreetly, of course.”

“I already dealt with him.” Han put up his last arrow. “He'll be spending a long, long time in a dungeon. Matter of fact, there might even be a space open for you.”

Yoda held up his own cane, giving Palpatine a sold thwack in the side. “Caused enough trouble, you have. Lied to Vader, and to all, you did. Wanted throne, you did. Took opportunity the moment Bail left.”

“The kingdom should be mine,” Palpatine sneered. “Not that lily-livered half-brother! He's running off to the Crusades, leaving no one here to rule! I took over! It's mine!” He took a sword from a rack and countered Yoda, cracking his cane in half.

“Old man!” Han kicked Luke's sword to him. “Here! You deal with the Cackling Hag. We'll handle Metal Pants.”

Luke was shaking his head. “No, Han. I will not fight him.”

“If you won't,” Leia raised her bow. “I will.” She aimed her arrow at his heart, but was blinded by anger and got his shoulder.

Vader gasped. “You're...very good...girl.” Blood seeped out from between his fingers. “If your brother...won't...join...me...perhaps...you will...”

“No!” A scarlet-clad body leaped onto Vader. The last thing the hulking metal-clad lawman was expecting was for his very angry son to tackle him, his fingers wrapped around his neck. “Don't you touch her!”

Han finally pulled out his arrow and shot it right at Palpatine. He was moving too fast and it hit his shoulder...but that was enough distraction for Yoda to stab him in the other arm. “I think we've all had enough of this!” He whipped around and, with Leia and Thomas' help, managed to pry Luke from Vader's grasp. “Lad, that won't do anything. His neck is bigger than all our fingers except Chewie's.”

“I just...I saw red...and then I was standing over him.” Luke stumbled back into the arms of his friends, his horrified blue eyes on Vader. “I'm not like you! I'm a Jedi. A warrior. Not some fear-mongering monster!”

Palpatine screamed, falling to his knees as he clutched his wounded appendages. “You were all such fools!” His cackling more closely resembled a laughing beast than anything human. “Bail ran off to the Crusades without even considering what it would do to his country. You,” he pointed a long, bony finger at Vader, “did everything I told you to, without question. Did you ever consider that I might have lied?” His laughter became even louder. “I never cared about your silly wife! I wanted your fealty, not your problems. You helped me get rid of those Jedi monks without ever asking me why I wanted them gone. I only wanted your strength and your children's loyalty!”

The youth pulled away from Vader as he leaped onto Palpatine, his voice filled with controlled rage. “You vile...contemptible...scheming...to think I listened to you for all those years! No more!” The massive metal arms hefted the hag prince over his shoulder and heaved him out the window. The prince's screeching could be heard for miles, ending with a crash as he landed on rocky courtyard below.

Lando darted up, following Thomas and Artoo, just as Vader swayed and landed on the floor with a clatter. “What happened to His Royal Terribleness? He just...flew out the window! They're scraping up what's left of the body right now.”

“He decided he wanted to fly, then forgot he didn't have wings.” Han and Chewbacca managed to get Vader to his feet as Luke helped Yoda. “I think Old Metal Pants here owes a lot of us a very long explanation. About many things.”

“That I do, Hood. Locksley.” The beaten knight sighed. “I know who you are, Solo. Son of Sir Josiah Locksley, of Soloshire Manor.” His voice softened. “Palpatine was the one who ordered Soloshire burned and your father hung, but my men and I did the deed. Palpatine shared the profits from the land with Du Hutt, whom your father was in debt to.”

Han nodded. “So Du Hutt told me. The fat old ass told me the only way I would live was if I paid off his debts after he was branded a traitor and killed.”

“Children...” Vader's breathing was even raspier than usual. “Take me downstairs. I need to...put myself under arrest...”

“But Father,” Luke began, “you can't do that!”

His newly-discovered sister glared at him. “It's more than he deserves.”

Thomas had gone hobbling over to the window. Artoo lifted onto his paws on the window, while his human glanced over him. “Oh my,” the slender man in yellow gasped, turning a shade of pea green that clashed badly with his tunic, “I'm afraid the Prince has gone and gotten himself a bit flattened. At least two carriages ran over him. It's not a pretty sight...” Music and cheering from the fairgrounds just beyond the courtyard attracted his attention. “What's that?” Artoo barked and nodded. “Yes, I can tell it's humans. It sounds like they're cheering for a parade, or maybe royalty.”

Three of Lando's men dashed upstairs, including the one in blue. He quickly talked to them, then turned to the others. “You won't believe what Sir Rieekian found wandering around in the woods. The King is home!”

“What?” Han's eyes widened. He grinned and took Leia's arm as Luke and Chewbacca helped Vader to the door. “Sounds like your uncle's returned, lass. Shall we greet him?”

“Of course.” Leia gave him a grin. “I'm sure he wouldn't mind having an outlaw for an inlaw!”

Lando lead the group through the throngs of peasants to the very front of Nottingham Castle. It was a rather merry, if bedraggled, little group. Han and Leia followed Lando and his men, happily arm in arm, not really paying attention to anyone else. Mr. Warrick and his fellow shopkeepers followed them, chattering proudly with pride at the part they played in bringing down the Prince. Chewbacca, pulling Luke, Vader, Yoda, Thomas, and Artoo in a small cart, was next. Zeb, Hera, and the rest of their group brought up the rear from the crowds.

Everyone bowed or curtsied when they made it to His Majesty. King Bail Organa was as handsome as ever, with his salt and pepper hair, mustache, and thin beard. His own tunic and hose was in an equal sorry state; a tattered dark robe hung from his shoulders.

“Uncle.” Leia flew to his side and embraced him. “How did you escape the Austrians? We never did pay your ransom...”

“Several Saxons living in Austria were able to secure my release. I came on foot with three of my remaining loyal men. I knew what my wayward half-brother would do to me if he found out I was in England, so I disguised myself as a peasant, stayed at a few inns, and discovered what he's been up to the last few years.” His dark eyes became haunted. “One of the innkeepers told me what happened to Breha. My Breha. My dear wife. I loved her, Lelita. I loved her more than life itself.”

“I miss her, too.” Leia leaned sadly into him. “I suppose, now we can use that money we earned to rebuilt Alden Manor. She would have liked that.”

Bail nodded. “I think so, too.” He gave Sir Rieekian, who rode up next to him, a sad smile. “Don't you think so, Carlist?”

“I do. The queen was a good woman. What happened to her was a crime.” The older man jumped off his horse. Two bags of gold hung off either side. “I was bringing my repayment to you when I ran into the king and his people. I had to talk to Palpatine and Tarkin at the fair anyway, so my people and I gave him a ride.”

“Your Majesty.” Vader – or Sir Andrew – bowed before him as well as he could in his dented armor. He pulled off his helmet, revealing his horribly burned and pitted white face. “I'm turning in my commission as Sheriff, and am putting myself at your mercy. I have a long list of infractions, going back to the death of Lady Padme Amidala of Naboo Town.”

“Sir Andrew.” He frowned. “I'd long suspected you were the one behind my brother's mischief. I'm afraid you'll have to go on trial. At best, you'll be spending the rest of your life in the dungeon. At the worst, we may have to hang you.”

Sir Andrew ignored the horrified look on his son's face. “I understand, Your Majesty.”

“Uncle Bail.” Leia pulled Luke, Chewie, and Han up to him. “These are my friends. This is my brother,” Leia said this breathlessly, as if she couldn't quite believe it, “Luke Scarlet.” She patted Chewbacca on the back. “This is Chewbacca, of Jerusalem. He wants nothing more than his family to come to safety. And Thomas Gildenrod and Artoo,” she added as Thomas was dragged over by the fat white dog. The girl looked up at Han with a dreamier smile. “And this is Han Locksley of Soloshire Manor, Uncle Bail. He helped rescue me, and our friends and I saved him from Palpatine's trap.”

Bail grinned. “So you're the outlaw I've heard so much about. On one hand, I appreciate what you did in trying to earn enough money to free me and help people like Sir Rieekian who were effected by my brother's ridiculous taxes.” His handsome face fell. “On the other hand, I'm afraid stealing is against the law...and you do owe money to Du Hutt.”

“Look, Your Royal Lawfulness,” Han started, “I'm ready to take the blame. You can put me in the dungeon with Metal Pants or turn me over to Du Hutt, but leave the others out of it.”

Leia took his arm. “If he's under arrest, Uncle, so am I. I also was Robin Hood.”

“So was I!” Luke stumbled next to her. “I had nowhere else to go after Vader...Father killed my aunt and uncle. The Rebels of Sherwood gave me a home.”

“Your Majesty.” Lando bowed before him. “My name is Lando-a-Dale. If anyone should be punished, it's me. I'm the one who nearly lead to Han ending up in Du Hutt's clutches.” Chewbacca stepped up beside him, growling. “Him too.” The minstrel took his arm. “Han saved him from a Jerusalem prison.”

“And us!” Thomas hobbled next to Chewbacca, with Artoo darting under his legs. “We went along with it. Reluctantly on occasion, I may add.”

Zeb pushed his way through the crowds, followed by Mr. Warrick, Hera Syllendula, Ezra, and the other Rebels of Sherwood. “You arrest one of us, Your Majesty, you gotta arrest all of us. We work together.”

“That's right, sir.” Sabine gave him a little bob. “We're a team. We all did the robbing.”

King Bail put up a hand. “The only person under arrest is Sir Andrew, and that for murder and fraud, not robbery. There isn't room in my dungeons for all of you! However,” he added, “robbery is still a crime. Most of you are now officially exiled from Sherwood. I never want to see you doing more than passing through there or picking up a rabbit for dinner. If I hear about any more outlaws there and they fall under your description, you really will spend some time in the dungeon.”

“What about us, Uncle?” Leia's grip tightened on Han's arm. “What about Han?”

“I heard what happened to Soloshire Manor.” Bail chuckled. “You'll need some way to rebuild that. How would your salary as a deputy to the Sheriff of Nottingham work?”

“A deputy? Me?” The outlaw's hazel eyes widened. “You want me to be Sheriff?”

“Why not?” Bail chuckled. “From what I saw at the fair today, you're an amazing shot with a bow and arrow, and my niece seems to like you. Besides,” he turned to Leia, “our new Queen is going to need someone by her side that she can trust.”

Leia bowed deeply as everyone else dropped to their knees before them. “Thank you, Uncle. I'll try to make myself worthy of your legacy.”

“I'll make your coronation official next week, before I return to the Crusades.” He next turned to Luke. “You'd make a fine deputy, lad. I heard you're quite a fiend with a sword, and a fine leader in your own right.”

The youth put up a hand, shaking his head. “Your Majesty, thank you, but I'm not interested in a commission. What I want is to restart the Jedi Order. My father helped Palpatine destroy them. I think it's time they returned. England could use some spiritual guidance.”

“I agree, my boy.” Bail gave him a pat on the shoulder. “You have my support, and my money. Many of the Jedi, including the late, lamented Friar Ben, were my good friends. I'd love nothing more than to know their ways are being carried on.”

“Help him, I shall.” Chewbacca aided Yoda in climbing out of the cart. “Begin again, the Jedi must. Stop others like Palpatine, they can. Bring hope, they can.”

“Abbot Yoda!” Bail gave the tiny old priest a big hug. “I thought you were dead!”

Yoda pulled away from his smothering cape. “Reports of my death, greatly exaggerated, they were. Helped the young people, I did. Steal, I did...but necessary, it was. Starving, the people were. Starving, they still are. Help, you can. Help,” he poked his cane at Leia and Han, “they can.”

“We're going to have a long talk with the Court about my brother's taxes tomorrow.” Bail turned to the other citizens of Nottingham. “Yes, we are going to talk, and we're going to remove or lower every one of the taxes my brother placed on this land. My niece, our new Sheriff, his deputies, and I will work to undo all the damage he did, and right all the wrongs he committed.” He put a hand on Han's shoulder. “That includes arresting Du Hutt and restoring your lands to your family, Locksley. I only knew your father briefly, but I heard of him. You're a better man than he ever was.”

Han just gave him a lopsided grin. “Thanks you, Your Majesty.”

“The way my niece is looking at you, I think I'm going to be your uncle-in-law soon.” He put an arm around Han and Leia. “Why don't you call me Uncle?”

“Aye,” Han winked. “Your Uncleship!”

Bail threw back his head and laughed heartily. “I fully approve of this one, my Lelita. You couldn't have picked a better man.”

Leia chuckled. “I think so, too.” The roars from the crowd reached deafening proportions as she went over to Han and kissed him as deeply and passionately as she knew how. “I love you, sheep herder.”

He gave her the famous grin. “I know!”

Han and Leia were married by Friar Yoda a week later, in the chapel on the edge of Sherwood Forest. Most of the town were there, along with Han's new deputies Zeb, Hera, and Sabine. Luke had found a new recruit for the Jedi in young Ezra; they stood alongside Yoda in their cassocks, both beaming proudly. Chewbacca, Han's best man, sobbed louder than anybody. He gave an impassioned speech in Arabic that only Han and Lando understood; even Han shed a tear after he was done.

Luke, Yoda, and Ezra left the next day. Bail had given them land on the Irish island of Atch-To to build a new monastery and restart the order. Wedge drove him there; he and his friends frequently brought supplies, news from the outside world, and new recruits to the small church and chapel there. Luke and Ezra missed their companions on the mainland, but they were happy in their new home. Yoda remained the head of the monastery until he died two years later. After that, Luke took over for him.

Leia became a much-loved queen in her uncle's stead, taking over for him all together when he died in his last trip to the Crusades. Han remained Sheriff for many years, with Zeb, Hera, and Sabine as three of his best deputies. Chewbacca resigned his deputy commission to help take care of his family after Sir Rieekian paid to have them brought over from the Holy Lands.

Under Han and Leia's direction, Soloshire Manor and Alden Manor were rebuilt. Han offered Lando a title, but he claimed he was happier playing for royalty and gambling his way across England. Vader was arrested for life for a long list of infractions ranging from first-degree murdered to treason to conspiracy against the crown. He died in prison a year later, broken from his experiences.

As for Leia and Han, they had a little son, a boy with thick dark hair and his mother's porcelain skin, whom Han hoped would make a wonderful king someday. “Better than an outlaw, right, Your Worship?” He gave his wife a kiss one day in the gardens outside the newly-repaired Alden Manor. “Did you really think I was all that terrible when I was an outlaw?”

“Maybe sometimes.” Leia leaned into him as she pushed her son's cradle. “Sometimes, I actually miss that silly sheep herder.” She smiled. “But then I remember...I still have the best man in all of England, no matter what he is.”

Han gave her that famous grin. “I think you do too. I love you, Leia.”

She gave him a little grin of her own. “I know.”

The End