The Adventures of Han of the Hood, Part 3

They set to it the very next morning. Shortly after breakfast, Ezra spied a great, gilded carriage passing through the woods. Leia and Hera dressed as dancers, with Kanan as a palm reader and Thomas trying to get a very stubborn Artoo to jump through a wooden hoop. While the fat ginger-haired man and his pretty, pale wife with the long flaxen hair watched the performers, Chewbacca knocked out the soldiers who guarded them and helped Zeb take the gold off the top of their coach.

Han bowed before the duo, dressed in a fine scarlet cloak he'd borrowed from Luke. “Your Graces,” he said as smoothly as he could, “you honor our humble show with your presence.” He kissed the lady's hand so elegantly, she turned a delicate pink...and was too busy swooning to notice he'd taken her diamond and emerald rings. He saw Ezra pressed against the sides of the carriage out of the corner of his eye, tugging at the wheels.

“Why thank you, kind sir,” the lady simpered. “I'm disappointed that you're not performing. You'd make a handsome actor. I'd see any show that starred someone as fine as you.”

“I'm afraid my talents are limited to merely directing the real actors.” His fingers went across hers, filching a gold filigree bracelet. Leia glared at him on his other side as she let the man kiss her fingers. Her palm held three rings with rubies the size of fists behind her back. “But I think one of my dancers is starting to get impatient. We have many other nobles to play for today.”

“Must we leave so soon?” The fleshy noble tried kissing down Leia's arm before she pulled away. “The delights are so...pretty...here...”

“Brendol, my dear,” the woman said breathily, “as much as I hate to leave, we really must be moving on. Prince Palpatine is waiting for the money we collected from our serfs.”

Her husband finally withdrew into his carriage. “Very well, dear.” He tossed a coin to Han. “Let it not be said that the noble house of Hux doesn't pay well for such services.”

Han bowed low, trying not to let the mockery in his hazel eyes show. “You're too kind to us poor peasants, Your Lordship.”

As soon as the carriage moved on, Ezra rushed over to Han. “Han...Robin! Look what I got!” He held out four large golden carriage wheel caps. “They're made of solid gold!”

“Aye lad, that's the spirit.” Han helped him with two of them, as the boy nearly buckled under their weight. He himself almost tumbled after lifting them into his arms.

Leia handed off to Hera. “Here. Take these to Lothalshire. Ezra, Zeb, go with her. Give the first bag to the church and distribute the second among the villagers. Discreetly, of course. I'll take those hub caps to the local goldsmith to have them appraised.” She turned to Han, who was making for his horse. “Han, I want you to wait here. Luke said he'd found a friend in the clergy whom Friar Kenobi mentioned before his untimely death. He might be able to help us.”

“Another clergyman?” Han made a face as he went to feed the horses, who rested under a spreading sycamore tree. “Wasn't the old man enough?”

“I think our people could use some spiritual guidance.” Leia hefted a small chest of gold. “Not to mention, we could use more help. Luke said this man was a great warrior. He could probably train some of our new recruits to use the sword and bow and arrow.”

Han saw her struggling and took the other side. “Yeah, some of the serfs who are wandering out here from the outlying villages wouldn't know the sharp end of a sword from a hole in the ground.” They managed to heft onto a plank connected to two ropes in the trees. Han tugged on the rope, and it was hauled into the branches. “Thanks, Wedge.” He grinned at her. “Just a few more hauls like this, and we'll have enough to pay off my debts and get the king out of prison.”

“And what then?” Leia's glare could have frozen the Thames in July. “Will you be returning to Baron Du Hutt?”

“That I will, lass. I owe him money. But,” he added quickly, “not forever.”

“I wish you'd stay, Han.” Leia sighed. “You're a great help for us. You're a natural leader.”

“'Tis all I am?” His smirk came out in its full glory. “Or am I more to you?”

The young noblewoman gave him a glare that would have frozen the Thames in June. “You're imagining things, Han of the Hood.”

“Am I?” Han snapped. “Then why are you following me? Afraid I was going to leave without a good-bye kiss?”

“I'd rather kiss that hairy moor friend of yours!” Leia snarled as she pushed past him. “At least he's a gentleman!”

“I'll tell him that! You could use a good kiss!”

Han had already started for the bridge when a very strange duo came leaping out of the bushes. The taller of the two was Luke Scarlet, but he carried the most peculiar little man on his back. He was a wizened old creature in a much-mended cassock and long brown cape. Bits of flimsy white hair framed delicate wrinkles and slightly greenish skin, with ears that more closely resembled the pointed ones of a fairy.

“Enough, that is, young Walker.” A sing-song voice and mischievous toothless grin gave him the look of an ancient child. “Rest here, we will.”

“Han!” Luke rushed over the bridge and right to his friend. “I found him, Han! I found the great warrior.” He waved at the elderly monk. “Han, this is Friar Yoda. He used to be the head of the Jedi order, before Palpatine destroyed them all.”

Han crossed his arms. “Another old man with a vivid imagination. Considering that the last friar's so-called warrior abilities got him killed, I don't know what skills you can bring to us, oh extremely advanced one.”

“Rude, you are. Should treat your elders better, you should.” Before either of them could stop him, Yoda leaped onto Han's back, far quicker and more nimbly than Han expected. “Take me for ride across the bridge, you will.” He tapped the surprised outlaw on his leg. “Now, now! Or I will help you not!”

Han made it three-fourths of the way across the river before he dumped the little clergyman into the green waters. “Hope you enjoy your swim, old codger!” He doubled over laughing as Luke waded in to fish his friend out.

“Han!” He winced as Leia came over, full of fire in her eyes. “That is Abbot Yoda, of the Jedi order from Northern England. He's one of the last ones left, and you just dropped him in the water like a spoiled fish!”

Han crossed his arms sulkily. “He shouldn't have hit me with his stick.”

“Insult me, you should not, Robin Hood.” Yoda let Luke rub him with a soft cloth to dry him. “Have half a mind not to tell you what I heard about big shipment.”

That got Han's attention. “What big shipment, Oh Great and Mighty One?”

“Two knights, riding on good horses,” the little man snickered. “Very good. One is Sir Ozzel, one of the Sheriff's men. The other is Saxon knight, Sir Carlist Rieekian. Wealthy, he once was. Wealthy, he is no more. Sheriff sold his lands to Baron Thrawn, a Norman noble in Lancastershire.”

“Carlist?” Leia frowned, her brown eyes clearly worried. “He was a good friend of my uncle's, and very popular at court. I played with his son when we were children.”

“I don't like this.” Han started backing away. “It's one thing to steal people's money when we're in the woods. How are we going to do it at a man's home without being captured?”

Now Luke was grinning. “Same as we always do it. With disguises.”

“There's nothing to discuss.” Leia returned his glare. “I'll round up the others, get Thomas and Chewbacca to clean up the horses, and see if Hera can mend one of the dance dresses. I need to look at least somewhat presentable if I'm going to give this money to Sir Rieekian.”

“The money we got today?” Han's fingers curled hard around the top of the chest of gold. “We need this money. The king needs this money!”

Leia was already making her way towards their camp. “We'll earn more money for the king, and for your Baron, too. Don't worry, you'll be paid.”

“Han,” Luke began, “isn't this what we're supposed to be doing? What we're here for? We started this to help the helpless, feed the homeless, and make sure that no one ends up losing everything they have, like we did.”

He finally threw up a hand in Luke's face. “Ok, ok, kid. I'll do it. It's just a matter of getting in there. I don't know how eager this Rieekian will be to let a pack of outlaws in his home, even if he is desperate.”

“Leave that to me.” Her Maidship was already plaiting her hair into a tighter braid. She walked around Han and Luke, looking them over like cattle.

Han gave her a slight leer. “See anything you like, Your Maidship?”

“Enough talk out of you.” She smirked. “You and Luke are going to be my servants. The good Friar is coming to comfort Rieekian in his hour of need. I'll borrow Sabine as my lady-in-waiting. The others can hide in the house.”

“Are you crazy?” He was already stepping back before Luke grabbed his arm. “I'm nobody's servant!”

She leaned on him, giving him a rather wicked grin. “You just have to stand there and look pretty before I give you the signal.”

He finally threw up his hands in frustration. “All right! But after this, we stick to robbing nobles in the woods, all right?”

Her Maidship only continued to grin. “Whatever you say.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Han, Luke, Leia, and Thomas went on ahead to Ord Mantell Manor. Rieekian, a strapping man in a slightly faded suit that had once been fine silk, welcomed Leia with open arms. “I'm so glad you're all right, Your Maidship.” He lead her to a cozy parlor room furnished sparsely with a few cheaper antiques. “I'm sorry about the state of my home. We had to sell off most of the furniture to pay Thrawn and Sheriff Vader.”

Sitting to his right on a heavy chair with faded gild trim and upholstery was a handsome man attired in a fine suit of white and gray silks and brocades, the styles popular among the members of Prince Palpatine's court. His pale skin and shiny black hair had almost a bluish cast to them, and his brown eyes seemed more like an eerie red. “Yes,” he insinuated in his level, bored tones. “I haven't seen you in some time, Your Maidship. I'm sorry about your uncle, but he really shouldn't have gone gallivanting around in Jerusalem. He would have been better employed settling matters at home.”

A growl rose up in Leia's throat before she managed to turn it into a cough. “He did what he felt needed to be done. Which is also,” she added quickly, “what we're here about.” Leia nodded behind her. “Gentlemen, show him our payment.”

Han and Luke, both wearing simple cloaks and tunics stolen from a nobleman's retinue the week before, opened one of the three chests. Gold flashed in the afternoon sun for a few minutes before Han flung the contents closed. “That's enough,” he said gruffly.

“So,” Leia grinned, “is it all there, Thrawn?”

“How could this be real?” Thrawn steepled his fingers calmly. “No one can get that amount of money without resorting to theft. I did hear,” his thin lips widened into a small smirk, “that you'd fallen in with a rather bad crowd recently. What a shame that such an unusually intelligent and beautiful woman is now a mere outlaw.”

Leia took Han by the shoulders before he could jump at the sneering Norman. “I do what I have to, Your Lordship,” she responded testily. “Do we have a deal?”

“Only,” Thrawn's smile widened as six men in chain mail walked into the room, all with bows and arrows or swords trained at them, “if you give yourselves up to the law. I had a suspicion you would do something like this. Ozzel,” he added to the man with the gold mustache and darker gray tunic, “take the menfolk to the dungeons. I'd like to have a chat with Her Maidship myself.”

“Oh no, you don't.” Thrawn found himself staring down the steel blade of a thin sword...one that had been produced by none other than Rieekian himself. “I'd suspected you'd try something like this. You release these good people, or I've just found myself a wonderful new pincushion.”

“I'd suggest you let him go.” Han sucked in a breath as Sir Boba of Gisbourne emerged from the hallway. The unusual slanted armor of Mandalore was painted a fresh green and red, and his steel crossbow was held directly at Han's chest. “Han of the Hood. His lordship the Baron has been after you for months. He has a bounty on his head the size of this entire estate.”

Han put up his hands. Leia was inching closer to one of the men. “All right, Sir Boba, you've caught me. I'll go with you. I just want you to have a parting gift from me.”

His hands were on his bow and arrow before anyone could move. Sir Ozzel gasped and dropped his sword as an arrow went into his hand. Yoda leaped onto one of the men, hitting him hard on his side with his stick. Luke's blue sword flashed as he fought with two more. Leia and Han dashed behind the desk and shoved it onto two more.

Leia frowned as three more men entered, followed by familiar raspy breathing. “I think it's getting too crowded here for us, Han. Perhaps we should call for a bit of help and flee this place.”

“Right.” Han stuck his fingers between his teeth and let out a long, shrill whistle. “Here comes our fighting force!” He ducked over to Sir Rieekian with Leia and Thomas as Ezra and Hera leaped in through a window, Zeb threw men around in the doorway, and Artoo and Chopper bit at rears and ran under legs.

“Thank you so much, friends!” Sir Rieekian shook their hands behind the desk. “You don't know how much this means to me.”

Han's grin was, for once, genuine. “Ehh, it's nothing, Your Grace. Call it a day's work for Robin Hood and His Merry Rebels.”

“We only ask you one thing, Sir Rieekian.” Leia ducked as an arrow whizzed over her head and a body was thrown into the desk. “We'll need you to pay at least some of it back. Part of the money we're saving is going to the ransom for my uncle. When we have enough saved, we intend to send it to Austria to secure his release.”

“Bail was my friend.” The good knight nodded. “I'd do anything to help bring him back on the throne. I'll save every penny I can, Your Maidship.”

“Thank you.” She peered over the desk, then nodded at the other two. “I think it's time for us to go.”

Zeb was slamming two men's heads together when they pulled out. “This is the most fun I've had since we stole the drawers off that snooty Norman noble from Lancastershire!” he declared as he hit one last man in the nose, throwing him back into the wall and giving him a very bloody appendage.

Han was already half-way out the window. “Sorry to disappoint you, Zeb, but I think the party's over. We have to get out of here, before the Sheriff decides to join in.”

“I just want to go!” Poor Thomas was shaking right down to thin leather boots. “I'm not suited for fights! I have a very delicate constitution.” Artoo barked and rolled his dark eyes. “That one time during the Crusades doesn't count! Someone shoved a bow into my hand and told me to use it. I think I shot three birds and a tent.”

Yoda shoved them both out the window. “Complain later, you will. Leave now, we must.” He bowed quickly before Rieekian. “Forgive our hasty exit, Your Lordship, but stay, we cannot. Lord moves in mysterious ways, he does.”

Rieekian chuckled. “Yes, old friend, it does.”

Sir Boba looked up from where Zeb had thrown him on the floor. “Don't think you've seen the last of me, Hood. I'll follow you wherever you go.”

Han only gave him a parting sneer. “You have to catch me first, Gisbourne!” He leaped from the sill before the angry bounty hunter could take one last shot at him.