Pairings: Hilary/Jeff, Scott/Betty, Victor/Maple
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Rupert Holmes. The show belongs to AMC.
Prologue and epilogue set directly after the 4th season episode “You’ve Met Your Match.”
Prologue - September 1941
Hilary Booth, the premiere actress at radio station WENN, was seething with fury as she lunged into the writer’s room. “Damn it, Betty Roberts, why in the hell did you flirt with Jeff like that? That’s not like you! You’ve never shown the slightest interest in my Jeffery, let alone make a pass at him!” She glared at her as she grabbed one of the scripts and threw it across the desk. “Bad enough that Czech trollop of a witch Pavla Nemcova went after him! Don’t you start too!”
“Oh, so he’s your Jeffery now?” Betty glared back. Up until today, Hilary admired the girl. She almost thought of her as a sister. Right now, she wanted to take her over her knee and give her a good spanking. “That seems to be what you say at your convenience. Can’t make up your mind whether you want to be married or not today?”
“Don’t blame me for this!” Hilary snapped. “I didn’t divorce him. He married that witch of a Pavla Nemcova!”
Betty’s ferocious glare would have been enough to send anyone who wasn’t Hilary running down Isabella Street. “To save one of his best friends in the interest of national security!”
“What about your conniving rogue of a Sherwood?” Hilary waved a finger in her face. “Betty, I wish you’d face facts. Scott loves you. You should have seen the look on his face when you made goo-goo eyes at my Jeff. He worships the ground you stand on, and you treat him like the dirt under your fingernails!”
Betty made a face. “He’s not my rogue! He’s a con-artist and a liar. He’s embezzled money from this station and…well, he told a whopper to me about how he got his job that really hurt. Who knows what else he’s lied about?” She plopped behind her desk and tapped ferociously at one of the keys of her trusty old typewriter. “Sometimes, I wish he wasn’t able to talk his way out of everything.”
“Betty,” Hilary slid in next to her, “Scotty’s big mouth drives me crazy, too. Lord knows he’s done everything to my shows short of flat out taking my roles. I still haven’t entirely forgiven him for that time after he switched to acting when he kept inserting politics into every soap opera. I have no idea what got into him there. But,” and her voice softened, “Betty…Scott came back to you when Pruitt threw him out. None of us bought that California story for a minute. He may be too quick with the smart retort, but he’s totally devoted to you. He’s nothing if not loyal. Jeff…”
Betty put her hand gently on Hilary’s when she saw the haunted look in her older friend’s eyes. “Jeff is devoted to you, too, Hilary. He said why he married Pavla. He told me his explanation holds water, and he’s right. He did it for Victor. He loves you. I don’t think Pavla could love anyone but herself.”
“You know that, I know that,” Hilary sighed, “but does he know that?” She tapped her finger on one of Betty’s scripts. “Honestly, that man can be such a…a beast sometimes. I never know what to expect with him, whether I’ll want to kiss him today or kill him tomorrow.”
The smaller woman gave her own sigh. “That makes two beasts.” She rolled her eyes. “My beast smooth talks and lies and cons his way through life like it’s one big game. Sometimes…I wish Scott wasn’t quite so smart.”
Hilary sighed. “And I wish my beast was a lot less likely to jump into things without thinking and would hold his temper every now and then. I’ve been on the receiving end of his little hissy fits more times than I care to remember.”
They heard the door to WENN slam and saw another figure storm into the writer’s room. “Damn it to hell!” Maple LaMarsh, Hilary’s fellow actress (though she sometimes questioned that description) clomped across the parquet floors in her four-inch black heels. “Damn it! Damn! Damn that…that…oooh!” Maple flung her black coat across one of the many piles of scripts, sending several flying to the floor. “Damn that Victor Comstock!” Her red face nearly matched her flame-orange hair, bright eye shadow, and pearly lipstick.
Hilary raised a perfectly sculptured eyebrow at Maple’s outburst. “I take it your date with Victor didn’t go any better than ours.”
Betty hurried to retrieve the scripts Maple scattered on the floor. “I thought he was going to take you to O’Malley’s for a beer after the show ended.”
“He was!” Maple flopped angrily in the chair Betty vacated, nearly knocking it over with her force. “He got a last minute call from Washington! Something about an early train. Another time, Miss LaMarsh. National security calls, Miss LaMarsh. I’ll be gone for three days, Miss LaMarsh. Oh, and Betty, you’re in charge again, an’ Scotty’s helpin’ ya.”
“Victor’s mind must still be in and out if he wants Scott helping me.” Betty dropped her scripts on the table. “It sounds like we have three beasts on our hands.”
Maple drew a gloved finger across one of the scripts. “I like Victor. He was nothin’ but nice to me. Sure, I didn’t understand half’a what he said, but I ain’t never liked a guy who talked like him, ya know? He was a real sweetie, and not a faker, like that Governor I dated a while back. I thought…well, he kinda seemed to like me during our date.” She sighed and leaned on that gloved hand, her eyes turning wistful. “And he is awfully cute. He has the most adorable little boy smile. He’s sort-a like a great big, handsome eagle.” She made a face. “I just wish this eagle was less involved with Uncle Sam.”
Betty wrinkled her nose. “I agree, Maple. Victor’s barely been here since he’s gotten back. I understand that he went through a great strain and he still has a lot to do with Washington, but…well, he has a station to run. We need him just as much as Washington does.”
“I just…” Maple bit her pearly lip. “It ain’t like I wanna hurt Victor. I just want him to pay attention to me.” Her orange-lashed brown eyes gazed wistfully at the two women who were like sisters to her. “Ok, Betty, so Scott and I did have a relationship at one point. We ain’t got one now. Haven’t in years. It’s you he wants. He told me after he started actin’. And Hilary, Jeff’s crazy about you. Yeah, you have every right to be mad about the Pavla thing. But at least they give you the time of day. They both respect you, treat you like ladies. Victor…all he cares about is his work! He barely pays attention to Betty, let alone me!”
Hilary made a face. “He’s not unlike Jeff in that way. They care so much about what’s going on in the world, they neglect what’s happening in their own backyards.” She chuckled. “Jeff is a looker. I’ll give him that. Tall, commanding, with that curly hair that I want to run my fingers through, and those killer dimples…” She made a face. “And then I remember he isn’t mine anymore.”
“And sometimes,” Betty grumbled, “I wish Scott cared a little more.” She couldn’t help her own dreamy grin. “He’s…well, he’s like a big, sweet bear, with those muscles and all that silver-black hair. And that smile…and those amber eyes…” Her fingers trailed along the script as her smile fell. “But then, he’ll open his mouth and lie again, and I remember why I keep turning down his dates.”
Maple smirked. “So, what are we going to do with these guys?” She held up a black gloved fist. “Other than give Victor a shiner to match the other two for runnin’ out, when I can get my hands on him.”
“How about we just get those beasts on the air?” Betty made a face. “A Book at Bedtime is on as soon as Gertie and Mr. Eldridge finish running those Greek records. We need to rehearse ‘Beauty and the Beast.’ And Maple, you’re going to have to play the organ and act, and I could try to do the sound effects. Mr. Foley and Eugenia are nowhere to be found.”
Hilary paged through her script. “At least someone had a good time tonight.” She tapped at the first page. “I suppose I’m playing the nasty older sister and evil fairy again, same as the last time this came up in the rotation, and you or Maple will be Beauty.”
“It’s how the story goes, Hilary.” Betty opened her script. “Eugenia was supposed to be the Beast’s kindly housekeeper, but since she seems to have vanished, I might have to get Gertie away from Mr. Eldridge long enough to do it. Jeff is the Beast and the Prince, and since we’re missing Mr. Foley, he’s going to have to be Beauty’s older brother. Scott is his loyal bear valet and Beauty’s father, and Maple, you’re Beauty, the other mean sister, and the household maid.”
“You know,” Maple added, “I sorta agree with Hilary. I mean, this is soundin’ too much like ‘Cinderella.’ Why do the sisters and brother all gotta be so mean? Why can’t they all get along an’ try to help their father? Why can’t they all figure out what’s goin’ on with the beast?”
Hilary picked up a pencil. “I’d much rather play a far more sympathetic…and ahem, larger…part. Why can’t there be three Beauties and a brother taking care of that father? Why does the Beast ask for the youngest sister? Why not ask for someone with more experience and presence? After all, everyone at all ages can fall in love.”
“Yeah, look at Gertie n’ Mr. Eldridge.” Maple grinned dreamily. “I think they’re crazy about each other. Only time I ever saw ‘em argue was durin’ that quarantine when we all ended up fightin’ each other.”
“And that evil fairy…even I think her motive for turning the Prince into a Beast is ridiculous. His parents don’t believe in fairy tales?” Hilary smirked. “What if it’s something simple, like, oh, trying to get out of a marriage contract…and protecting his two closest friends?”
Betty flipped open her script. “Much as I hate last-minute re-writes, Hilary, I think you might actually have something here. What did you have in mind?”
“Well,” Hilary leaned on her own gloved hands, “it’s like this. Once upon a time, in a time not all that far removed from ours…say, oh, ten or eleven years ago, when the Stock Market crashed and merchants weren’t the only ones going broke, there was an out-of-work actor with four grown children…and one very beautiful eldest daughter who had come home to lick her wounds after a…slight mishap with her previous husband…”
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