Hilary and the Beasts, Part 53

“Get away, you yellow mongrel!” Pavla kicked hard at the little yellow puppy, sending her flying into the stage. “If you are not careful, I will sell you to pet store in town!” 

She’d just reached for the scruff of Puppy’s neck when C.J hurried in, “Leave that dog alone!” He sent an elbow into Pavla’s chest. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” 

“Good idea.” She smirked down at the aging vixen with the curling copper fur. “I suppose you’re Mrs. Fox. How about us…seasoned…women take on the monsters man…er, monster-handling Troll? Mr. Rabbit,” she sighed at the bunny, who was trying to figure out why the organ no longer played. “Miss Organ can’t make noise with no electricity. You’ll be more useful helping us out over here.”

Mr. Rabbit’s long ears bobbed. He hopped over and tugged at Pavla’s skirt with his sharp buck teeth. “Let me go, you little fur muff!” Pavla tried to kick at him, but Puppy pranced over and nipped at her heels. “Oww! Stop that, both of you!” 

C.J grabbed her arms, yanking them back. “How does it feel when someone doesn’t fight fair?” His soft snarl came out louder than any growl. “I’ll bet you forgot animals have claws and teeth, and most of them have no problems fighting back.”

Troll’s angry roar shook every piece of china in the house. It made the chandelier swing precariously, sending silver tinkles around the ballroom as he wildly kicked at one of the monsters, leaving bloody gashes on its leg. Hilary kicked the other in the most sensitive place she could think of. Mrs. Fox leaped on the biggest monster’s back when it let go of Troll, scratching and biting for everything she was worth. 

“Wait!” Hilary grabbed the monster the moment it doubled over. This monster wore a once-fine suit with a plaid waistcoat. The matted hair under his horns was gray rather than mouse brown, and his eyes followed her bosom the entire time. “I’ve heard of dirty old men, but dirty old monsters?” She jumped back from a hand that reached for her knee. “Wait…T.J Hunnicut?” He nodded, showing very sharp, very even fangs. “Yeah, that’s you, all right. That’s about what your mouth looks like when you’re human. I did hear in the wings that you’re half-wolf.” 

“T.J!” She gasped as he tried to stroke her knee, then let his claws move up to her chest. “Whoa, boy! Watch that animal instinct. I’m no Little Red Riding Hood! For one thing, I’d never wander off the path after such an obvious wolf!”

“LET HER GO!” Hunnicut reared back, screaming as Troll’s claws ripped through his fine wool jacket and silk shirt and into his slime-crusted back, leaving nasty gashes. “Don’t you touch her! I love her!”

“Troll!” Hilary almost fell into his arms. “Oh, thank heavens! Are you all right?”

“Yes…” He coughed as he hunched over, his eyes becoming blacker by the second. “But I won’t be…in a few minutes. It’s already taking hold…I don’t feel right…”

Pavla smirked, shoving C.J into the arms of one of the trolls, kicking the rabbit and puppy aside. “You’re both too late. In ten minutes, you will be my husband, bound to me heart and soul.” She first stroked the bear, rubbing at his throat and chest until his whimpers vanished. “This one will never laugh at me again, never mock me with those merry brown eyes. And this one,” she went to the bald eagle, who was on a chain in a cage, “will never raise his voice against me.”

“No, Pavla!” Hilary screeched. “You’re the monster! They’re men, ordinary human men! You’re a sadistic lunatic!”

“No, Miss Booth.” She turned that little grin on her. “I’m a woman who is going to get what she wants. Because…”

Hilary raised her eyebrows as Pavla’s voice continued…but it had a tinny sound to it. Like it was coming from a recording near the stage. “Because I love all Americans. And being married to one means freedom. The freedom to have whatever I want. What a treat, to be molded and glazed until I’m hard and glossy. Yes, Mr. Zanish, I will go with you to Hollywood, stay with you in Hollywood. Make films with you in Hollywood. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. As you may have already guessed…”

Pavla’s own wide brown eyes followed the sound of her sensual European accent to the corner near the stage. Maple wigged her fingers, grinning next to an old wind-up Victrola that needed no electricity to work. “Hiya, Pablum! Yeah, it’s a recordin’. Don’t you sound all pretty?” She smirked. “Trevor Zanish ain’t even in the US right now. I read in Variety that he’s in London, producin’ shows for Noel Coward! And you didn’t know that?”

“She’s been too busy turning men into monsters to pay attention to one of the top publications of the theatrical world.” Betty flipped Newspaper open and showed him to the crowd in the ballroom. “According to this, Jeff Singer, Victor Comstock, Scott Sherwood, and Jeff’s valet Foley were only in London for a few weeks. They were back by late August, just before Pavla went to Hilary.”

“You told me Jeff never came back.” Hilary’s glare could have frozen Death Valley in the middle of July. “You told me when you showed me the marriage certificate in September that he was still in Europe! You said he gave YOU the house, our apartment, and that he wanted to act with you! You said he loved you!”

“That’s a recording, Pavla. I don’t love you.” Hilary’s eyes widened at feet stomping and tapping on a hardwood ballroom floor on the record. That was Jeff’s voice…tinny, quavery, but clearly there. It held a level of fury she never heard on him before, not even during one of their many spats. “I never loved you, any more than you care about me! Where’s Scott Sherwood? You said if I married you, you wouldn’t hurt my friends or the staff here. Where IS HE?” 

The black bear looked up at an “oomph” as something heavy was thrown on the hardwood floor on the record. “Hi, Vic, Jeff.” Scott Sherwood’s warm tones were jaunty, despite the weary rasp on the edges that indicated a few too many bourbons. Betty’s eyes widened at his familiar voice, still charming despite the undertone of fear.  “Sorry I didn’t have the time to warn ya.” Raspy snarls like Pavla’s monsters nearly drowned him out. “Jeff, I’m ok! Don’t let her push you into anything. She’d never do anything that crazy, not if she doesn’t want this stuff on the air.  I’ll…oww!”

“Miss Nemcova, what depraved acts are you performing on this unfortunate…and admittedly quite inebriated…man?” Eagle looked up from his cage at the stentorian tones of Victor Comstock, his yellow-brown eyes bright and knowing. “Release Sherwood this instant and tell those…creatures…of yours to cease manhandling him, or we will broadcast your Brown Shirt associations to every corner of the known galaxy!”

Troll managed to smirk as he turned his half-black gaze upwards at the shocked Pavla, his fanged grin dripping with near-madness. “Victor didn’t stop the recording after we got Pavla’s confession,” he growled. “He knew she might get desperate. He and Foley never moved from the player. Not until her beasts started hurting Scotty.” Indeed, even as Troll spoke, the record became a symphony of movement, first “oofs” and “owwwws” as monstrous fists met human flesh. That quickly became a strangled scream that may have been Victor as the “oofs” became more prominent, joined by groans.

“I’m really enjoying this!” Maple smirked. “It’s better than any of the radio plays I’ve heard.” She nudged her sister’s arm. “Hey Betty, are you takin’ notes? You should base your next radio script on this!” 

Betty ignored Maple’s wisecracks. She ducked around the monsters, rushing the bear’s side as the clock on the ballroom wall ticked closer and closer to midnight. “Scott?” Those round button eyes showed no hint of recognition as she knelt next to him. “Don’t you remember?” She lay the book in her lap. “You wrote this for me. It’s about a bear who is really a man, a man who made the princess hate him. She becomes trapped in a castle with her two sisters and the bear’s friends, who are animals, too. She falls in love with him as a bear…but she loves him no matter what he is.” 

The monsters swarmed closer, but the others were ready for them. Maple ran to revive her father on the floor as C.J leaped the back of another. Troll snarled at one who reached for Hilary, clawing it until it lay on the floor bleeding and whimpering. Hilary grabbed Pavla, yanking her to the floor as Mrs. Fox ran up the smallest monster’s back and clawed it. Puppy and Mr. Rabbit nipped and clawed at still another monster, tugging at its tattered trousers. 

“You bitch!” Hilary grabbed at her hair as they rolled on the ground. “Troll isn’t the monster here, is he? Neither are any of those men. That’s what they are. They’re the missing men. They aren't monsters! YOU ARE!”

She gasped, her eyes growing wide as Pavla wrapped her hands around her neck. “That’s called survival,” the smaller woman hissed into her ear, squeezing her throat harder with every word. “But you wouldn’t know about that, would you? You, who gets whatever she wants. Who comes from a country where people walk freely on the streets, where their lives haven’t been shattered by war. I never had a family like yours. Never had a doting mama or papa, never had beautiful homes. I grew up on the streets of Prague. But when I saw Jeff…I knew I could get what I wanted.”

“You used him.” Hilary gasped, clawing at her neck. “Used him, the way you use everyone and everything else.” 

“I couldn’t let him and Comstock broadcast their findings, or Sherwood finish the decodings.” Those exotic brown orbs glittered cruelly as she squeezed Hilary’s neck harder. “And they never will. Nor will you. They will be gone, and so will you…AHHH!”

Pavla’s screech echoed in the ballroom as knife-sharp claws and a bony, slimy green arm yanked her off Hilary. Foam flew from his teeth as Troll shoved his grotesque face right in her wide-eyed one. “GET. YOUR. HANDS. OFF. MY. WIFE!”

Hilary gasped and pulled away to her father on the floor, letting Troll wrestle with the furiously struggling Pavla. Maple was just bringing Mackie around as Puppy whimpered and nudged him with her cold black nose. “Dad?” She and Maple helped him to his feet. “Are you all right?” She rubbed the back of his head. “We kind of lost you for a few minutes there.” 

“Ginger Snap, thank god it’s you. I had the worst nightmare…” His knees quaked loud enough to pass for maracas as his terrified brown eyes took in the monsters and the animals nipping at them. “Oh my god, it’s real, isn’t it? I was hoping it was that last flat ginger ale I had at home tonight.”

“Dad, please.” Hilary pushed him back towards the front door. “The FBI should be here any minute. Someone will need to meet them.” She shoved Mr. Rabbit into his arms. “Take him. He’s Jeff’s valet. He was in on the whole plot to discredit Pablum.” 

Mackie looked down at the shivering brown bunny with the twitching mustache. “He does look a little like Foley, doesn’t he? Around the nose, I mean. Same mustache.” He scratched the rabbit’s chin, making him quiver with pleasure. “Hi there, little guy! Why don’t we greet those nice FBI men and try to explain why my son-in-law’s valet has a pink nose and cotton tail?” He walked back to the living room, murmuring to the rabbit the whole time. 

Maple had already gone to the cage. “Victor?” She stroked his feathers. He leaned into her, gently rubbing her fingers. “It’s you, ain’t it? You’re still in there. I wish I’d known that was you on the record sooner. No wonder you were so upset.” She tugged at the lock. Eagle helped her, pulling at the chain that held his neck and trying to bite at the lock. “I’m gonna get you outta here. Hold on, hon!” 

“I can help you there.” Troll shook Pavla until her teeth rattled. “Where are the keys for that cage?” He ran the claws down her black skirt. “I can put runs in this like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Don’t you dare! This dress cost a fortune!” She nudged her back at him and nodded at low-cut neckline exposing a great deal of creamy bosom. “It’s in there.”

“Thank you.” He reached in, ignoring how much she was enjoying his discomfort. Soon as he pulled out the keys, he tossed them to Mrs. Fox. She caught them in her teeth and threw them to C.J. 

“Maple!” He ducked under one of the monsters reaching for him and hurled the keys her way. “Incoming, sis!”

“Thanks!” They almost slipped through Maple’s eager fingers, but she did finally manage to get them in her hands. “Come on, hon! I’m gonna get you outta there. We only have two minutes before midnight!”

It took her three keys, but she did finally get the cage open. Eagle almost purred as he fluttered to her arm, gently taking hold of her wrist with his strong yellow talons. “Aw, hon!” She giggled as he rubbed her cheek with his beak. “Yeah, I love you, too. I really do wanna marry you. You’re the only guy for me, no matter how many feathers you have, or what you do or don’t say.” She leaned over and gave his beak a deep kiss as his tongue rubbed her lips.

“Scott!” Betty had been fumbling with the straps of the muzzle. “Scott, please. You have to be in there! You have to remember! I can’t lose you! Not now!” Bear helped, too, trying to chew at the leather the best he could. It seemed to take forever, but it was really only a minute before she finally slid it off his bruised snout. 

She threw her arms around him. He leaned into her, his black button eyes filling with tears. “Scott, please!” she sobbed. “I love you. You tried to tell me you were still in there. You tried a hundred times, with all the stories we wrote, but I never listened. I’m listening now.” She put his paw on the last page of the book. “This is our story, Scott. You are the prince, and you’re the man, and I’m the princess. And now I know how I want it to end.” She leaned over and kissed him deeply on his furry lips as she gently placed her hand over his paw.

Hilary looked up from Betty’s declaration of love as the clock bonged midnight. She hurried over to Troll, who still clutched Pavla. Pavla had just stomped on his foot and pulled away as she grabbed his arm. “Troll!” She barely managed to breathe. “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you!”

“You…” Those beautiful, familiar almond-shaped eyes widened in pure joy. “You…will? Even with me looking like…” He swept his claws over his warts and slime and tattered tuxedo. “This?”

“I don’t care!” She threw her arms around him. “I love you, Jeff Singer! You don’t need to give me a house or anything else. I love you because you are you! Even when we fight. Especially when we fight. I love your mind, your acting, the way you tried to save your friends, the way you throw yourself into everything you do. Jeff, what I’m trying to say is…”

Troll threw his arms around her and finally silenced her yammering with a deep kiss, just as the final bong boomed from the old grandfather clock near the stage. Pavla’s screams were joined by the sound of the front door flung in. Five men in plain suits holding up guns, and six more in the dark blue uniforms of the Pittsburgh Police Department followed Doug Thompson, himself in a fine black suit, into the ballroom. 

Mackie stepped back, his wide eyes taking in every bit of the chaos in the ballroom. “What the hell?” Mr. Rabbit leaped out of his arms and dashed over to Miss Organ. The little bunny rubbed at her side and gave it a gentle lick just as the bong ended its final reverberation.