Thank goodness the lizard-thing didn't live on a cliff. Her sore knees and palms couldn't handle another rock climb. Turns out it made its home in a cave about two miles from the giant bird-monster. The walk there was tiring enough without having to haul her rear up the side of a mountain. She kept tripping over the gnarled roots of dead trees and sharp little pebbles.
“Here, Susan.” Charles offered her his hand when she tripped over yet another root. “Let me help you. If you keep falling over everything, we'll never get out of here, and I'll be late for tea time!”
“Oh, hang your tea time!” Brett snapped. “What about the others? The Red King has Orson, the Doormouse, and my sons! What about the damn sword? Where is this Jabber-thing, anyway?”
They ducked down again as the giant lizard flew over their head and into a massive crack in the wall of a mountainside. “Offhand,” Charles said as he held on to his hat and his tea, “I'd say right about there.”
Brett made a face at her bedraggled gown and scraped palms. “This place is going to be the death of me,” she muttered. “I need to stop getting to know the rocks so well.”
“Susan, shh!” Charles put his gloved finger to his lips. “Do you want it to hear us?”
“At this point, I don't care.” Brett dusted herself off. “All I want is to find that bloody sword and get out of here!”
Charles poked his head in the fissure first. “Hello?” He shrugged. “I think it's ok, Susan. No one's home.”
“I could say the same thing about your head,” she muttered as she followed him into the mountain. Dark, dreary, stifling emptiness met her eyes. Occasionally, they'd see a rock covered in phosphates eerily glowing pale green or blue, but no lizard-thing.
As they walked further along, heavy white plumes of thick smoke rolled across the caves. “Charles,” Brett coughed, “what in the heck is this? I know it's not me. I quit smoking!”
Charles made a face next to her. “And I lost my pipe when I landed.” He gulped as a grating roar shook the stone walls of the cave. “Susan,” he murmured, “I think we found him. And it.”
The smoke cleared just in time for Brett to find herself face-to-face with the longest, sharpest teeth she'd ever seen in her life. They were sharper than the knives she used to carve poultry at home. “I...I...” she jumped back before it could snap at her and take her head off. “Well,” she grumbled, “you don't have to be nasty about it! I didn't see you there!”
As they pulled behind him, she caught a glimpse of shining steel and dully glittering black jewels sitting on top of piles of silver and gold coins. “Susan!” Charles hissed, pointing behind the creature. “That's it. That's the Vorpal Sword. I've seen pictures in books at home. I'll try grabbing it, if you distract that thing.”
“Me?” Brett growled almost as loudly as the Jabberwock. “How about you distract the damn monster and I get the giant toothpick?”
“Too late!” Charles ducked away as the thing swished it's tail at them, nearly knocking them both over. “It likes you better than me!”
She raised an eyebrow. “Victor, it likes us for dinner, not to invite us for tea!”
There wasn't another chance to complain. It tried to take a swipe at her, forcing her to just barely dodge its house-sized paws again. “Sweetness,” she gasped, breathing hard as she pulled against the wall, “couldn't you please...let me take a break? I'm not...in good shape. I can't...take much more...of this!”
Apparently, neither could the Jabberwock. It took one half-hearted swing at her before letting out long, sad whimper. “Wait.” She frowned when that big paw swiped the wall next to her, making it whine louder. “Honey, is there something wrong with your paw? You've been whining like my boys when they skin their knees since we came in here!”
The Jabberwock let out another long wail that reverberated around the room. “Ooh, hon, let me see that!” She tried to take his paw, but he yanked it away. “Cut that out. You're a grown Jabber-thing. You can let me check what's wrong. I won't hurt you. I swear.”
Turning over his paw revealed a jagged piece of wood stuck directly in the center. “That's some splinter you have in there, hon.” She looked over her shoulder as Charles struggled to lift the Vorpal Sword. “Hey Victor, do you have anything else to eat in those pockets of yours? Might distract him while I do this.”
“Susan, this is no time for lunch!” He sighed when she glared at him. “All right, all right!” He finally tossed her a flattened cream cheese and walnut sandwich. “That's all I have left. I was saving it for my next tea time.”
“It'll do.” She quickly tossed it in the Jabberwock's mouth. The moment he swallowed, she managed to yank the wood out. “There, sweetness.” He whimpered as she wrapped more of her tattered petticoat around his paw. “How's that? Wish I had something to wash it out with so it won't get infected, but I don't see any water here. This will have to do.”
Those needle teeth widened into a massive grin. He gave her a slurpy lick that nearly knocked her off her feet! “Yuck. I'll need a bath when we get back to Looking Glass Land.” She shook her head when he shoved his scaly head under her arm. “You're really just a great big puppy dog, aren't you, boy?” He even rumbled sweetly when she rubbed him under his belly.
“Charles!” She yelled. “I just got an idea. I think I know how we can get back to Looking Glass Land!”
“I hope you do, Susan.” He dragged the heavy iron sword behind him, huffing and puffing. “Because this thing is starting to give me a hernia!”
“Oh, quit complaining.” She waved him over. “This big puppy has wings. I'm wondering if he could somehow fly us back to Looking Glass Land.”
“What?” Charles gasped as he nearly dropped the sword on his foot. When he finished dancing around, he started backing away. “Oh no, Susan. Bad enough I got this close to him. I'm not getting on his back. I like my life, and...”
She grabbed his hand. “Quit being a baby. He wouldn't harm a fly.” She patted the Jabberwock's back. “Right, sugar?”
The Jabberwock snapped at Charles with a greenish snort. “Oh, come on, boys!” She climbed onto its back. “Charles, this thing can pass between worlds. I've seen it in Looking Glass Land. It may be the only way we can get back and save the others, including my sons.”
“Well...” Charles gulped, looking from the sharp teeth to Brett perched on its back. “I've never been in the air before...”
“I take planes all the time. You'll love it.” She managed to climb on the Jabberwock’s back. “Come on, boy. Let's get back and beat that damn Red King at his own game.”
Just as the Jabberwock rose majestically into the air, Charles managed to jump on, still clutching the Vorpal Sword. “I hope you're right about this thing, Susan.” His face behind the glasses was red as a Bloody Mary. “You'd better be right about the sword, too. This thing is heavy! It must have belonged to giants.”
She patted the Jabberwock. “Can you take us back to Looking Glass Land, boy? We need to jump to the next square. I know Fannie said we had to get to Humpty Dumpty next, then Dickie would know where to go.” Her voice faltered. “Dickie...well, I guess we could ask Humpty what to do after that. Dickie had...a little accident...back at the White Castle.”
“I'm sorry to hear that.” Charles sipped his tea, a concerned grimace on his face. “Sir Dawson was a good man, and a great warrior. He was probably the bravest and most handsome knight in the kingdom.”
Brett made a face. “To each their own. I didn't think Sir Dawson was all that good-looking.”
The Jabberwock carried them high in the air, so high, she couldn't see the ground anymore. “How long do you think it'll be until we arrive?” Charles asked after about a half-hour. “My legs are falling asleep from all this sitting, and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep the sword from sliding off his back.”
“I don't know...” Brett started, just as her eyes spotted the tops of green trees under them. “Charles, look! I think we're there.”
“Well, we're somewhere, anyway.” Charles peered over the Jabberwock's leathery wings. “I think I see a brick wall down there. Did he fly us all the way to China?”
“No...” Brett squinted. “Wish I had my glasses. Charles, doesn't that look like someone's sitting on the wall?”
Charles did have his glasses, and he still squinted. “Yeah. It's...egg-shaped, I think...”
“Egg-shaped?” Brett's eyes widened. “Jabberwock,” she said as she held onto its back, “take us down in those trees over there.” It settled in a small grove of hearty oaks just far enough from the wall for it not to be noticed. “I'd fly you right there, but I don't want to scare the poor old yolk.”
They hopped off the second it landed. Brett gave its neck a scratch. “Thanks for the ride, boy. I don't know what everyone around here is afraid of. You're a big old puppy dog.” It gave Brett another lick, breathed hard at Charles and knocked his top hat into a bush, and took off into the blue sky again.
“Puppy dog, my sainted aunt's rear,” Charles muttered as he retrieved his top hat. “That thing is a vicious monster.”
Brett made a face. “It got us back to Looking Glass Land, didn't it? Now, all we have to do is find Humpty Dumpty and jump to the next square.” She nodded at the end of a high brick wall. “Come on. I imagine, if we follow that, we'll find Humpty.”
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