Leia and the Old Warlock In the Woods - A Star Wars Short Story

I read about Carrie Fisher's passing shortly after posting this at Archive of Our Own. I'm not good with death. I don't know what to say...except that with a heavy heart, this is dedicated to Star Wars' lost princess, and a wonderful fellow writer. 

Leia and the Warlock In the Woods

Rating: PG (violence)

Pairings: Han/Leia

Disclaimer: The franchise belongs to George Lucas and the Walt Disney Company.

Once upon a time, there were a sister and brother, Luke and Leia. They lived in the Naboo Woods with their father, Anakin Skywalker, a woodcutter. Anakin had once been a very rich knight, but he had lost all his money to an evil warlock. He had wanted Anakin to work for him, but the knight refused. The warlock stole his treasure and left the man and his two children penniless.

Luke and Leia were nineteen when Anakin sent them away with their Aunt Breha and Uncle Bail to Coruscant, the largest city in the Kingdom of Alderaan, to be educated. The twins protested. Their father was the only parent they could remember, their mother having died when they were small. Anakin insisted. He believed Breha and Bail could give them a better life than he was able to.

It wasn't that she didn't love her aunt and uncle, Leia thought as they bounced along the road through the forest. She was especially fond of Uncle Bail, who often sent her journals for writing and Luke beautiful old fairy tale books. She thought she could be more useful at home with Father. After all, they helped him chop wood, kept house for him, and Leia kept track of what little money they made. Who would do all those things for him now?

Aunt Breha shivered at the sudden wind and the dark clouds that raced across the sky. “I knew we shouldn't have gone this way. This is the part of the woods where the warlock is said to reside.” She pulled her brocade cloak further around her shoulders. “People have disappeared out here. A wealthy merchant and his entire household, his bodyguard and servants and even his home, simply vanished without a trace. It's been over a year, and no one's seen them since.”

“Do you think that'll happen to us?” Luke asked, shuddering. Though he was a bit taller than Leia, he was slender and gentle, with his golden hair and innocent blue eyes.

Leia hugged her brother. “Of course, it won't!” She was smaller than her brother, but far feistier. Her long brown hair, pulled into a braided crown on the top of her head, framed snappy dark eyes and a wide pink mouth. She had more of a temper than Luke and was even more likely to attack without thinking.

The black-haired lawyer patted his niece fondly on the shoulder. “We don't know what's out there, sweet Leia. You can never be too careful.”

It had begun to rain while they were talking. The lightning around them was rather strange, Leia thought. She'd never seen purple lightning before. Even as the rain started, it didn't seem right. Luke and Leia huddled close together. Breha leaned worriedly against her husband.

The carriage suddenly jerked to a stop. Bail poked his head out, ignoring the weather. “What's the trouble here?”

“Sir, there's an old man in the path,” one of the drivers explained. “He refuses to move.”

Bail turned his attention to the shadowy figure in the dark cloak planted in front of the carriage. “Sir, may we help you? Are you all right? Do you need a ride?”

“Not a ride,” purred a scratchy voice. His cackle sounded like that of a witch. “I want your money, all of your money and fine goods and clothes, or you will not be able to pass through this woods.”

“That's ridiculous!” Bail glared at him. “These woods belong to the Kingdom of Alderaan. They're open to everyone.” He finally waved his hands at his men. “Drivers, go around him. If he won't move, we won't be bothered with him.”

“You'll regret ignoring my warning!” A bony white hand emerged from the heavy, dark fabric. It stabbed at the air, gathering even more unusual purple lightning from the raging storm. To Leia's horror, he directed the lightning right at their carriages!

Breha screamed. Bail was thrown back into Luke and Leia. The lightning sizzled around them, throwing the carriage over into a tree. To Leia's horror, their horses had fled back to Alderaan, and their drivers and knights and servants were little more than sizzling brown shapes on the ground, growing soggy in the relentless rain.

Luke's blue eyes widened in horror. “He turned them into cookies!”

“Let's not stick around for him to do the same to us!” Leia grabbed his hand. “We have to get Aunt Breha and Uncle Bail and get out of here!”

“There isn't time!” They just barely dodged a bolt of purple lightning. The carriage behind them sizzled, it's occupants screaming as they shrunk into gingerbread cookies. “We can't let him see us!”

But the warlock did see them. “You! Children! Come back here!” They managed to dodge another bolt of lightning as they plunged into the dark woods.

Leia was surprised at how comforting the woods felt, despite the storm. The trees had rather eccentric shapes and strong limbs that protected them and held the warlock back. It was as if they were keeping an eye on them, making sure they were safe.

After running for what seemed like hours, Luke finally collapsed in front of a tree. “I can't go another step,” he puffed. “I don't care if the warlock gets us now. What are we going to do? We're lost! We don't know this part of the forest.” He closed his eyes, trying to push the horrible images they'd seen out of his mind. “And our aunt and uncle...”

“I can't believe he did that to them. They were such good people. I'll miss them both terribly. And those men didn't deserve to die like that.” Leia pulled her new silk cloak that her aunt gave her around both of them. “It's too late for us to return to Father. Let's sleep here and figure it out in the morning.”

Luke rubbed his stomach. “I'm so hungry and tired. I wish we could find a place to stay for the night.”

His sister sighed. “Yes, but where? No one lives in this part of the forest. There's no houses for miles.” She put her slender white arm around his shoulders. “At least the rain's almost gone. Look, I can see the moon!”

As she pointed to the round, soft moon peeking through the treetops, they noticed the form of a bird coming towards them. It was a handsome falcon, with majestic reddish-brown wings, a peculiar scar under its yellow beak, and large hazel eyes. There was something about it's eyes, Leia decided, that looked almost...human. The way he looked at her was rather cheeky for a bird.

The bird landed first on Luke's shoulder, nudging his cheek, then on Leia's. Luke scratched his back. “Hello there, boy. What are you doing here? You seem very friendly, for a wild bird!”

“Ow!” Leia winced as the falcon nipped her ear. “What do you want?” It screeched in her ear...but it sounded like “Come with me, come with me!” She let it sit on her arm, stroking its chin. “I wonder if you belong to someone? Father said he used falcons for hunting when he had the money to take care of them.”

“He has that scar.” Luke ran his hand over his chin. “Do you think his owner abused him?”

Leia shook her head. “Probably had a fight with another bird or an accident with a tree.”

As the rain continued to lessen, the bird finally took off. He swooped through the woods, occasionally looking over his shoulder to see if they were following him. The twins couldn't help chuckling at the very human look of annoyance on his face when he noticed they were just staring at him.

“I think he wants us to go with him.” Luke nodded as the bird soared again, flying into the now-quiet night.

“We don't have a choice.” Leia took Luke's hand. “Maybe he knows where to find some food or an inn that will give us shelter.”

The duo once again hiked for several hours, the falcon leading them down muddy paths and through rambling bushes. Leia was worried and nearly sick with fatigue and terror. She already missed their aunt and uncle, not to mention Father. Once or twice, she spoke to the falcon, asking him where they were going and when would they get there. She swore his squawking sounded like, “Soon, kid. Soon.”

They rested by a tree with blackish bark and soft green-orange leaves that enfolded them in a gentle embrace. Luke snuggled against it, letting it envelope him and his sister. He swore it felt like the tree's branches were stroking his hair as they drifted off to sleep, the falcon snoring on a thicker branch over their heads.

When they awoke the next morning, they searched in vain for the falcon, but it had vanished into the morning light. Fortunately, the path here was less muddy and rugged. It looked as if it had been well cared-for at one time. They had no difficulty strolling along, enjoying what had become a fine, sunny spring day. The trees bowed over them, filtering out the harshest light.

The moment they reached the end of the path, Luke grabbed his sister's hand. “Leia,” he shouted with delight, “look!”

Before them was the most amazing manor house Leia had ever seen. Not only was it enormous, but every last bit of it, from the steps leading to the grand door made of almond bark to the tall roofs made of colored wafers, was crafted from candy and gingerbread and cake. The fence that surrounded it was stiff icing, the cobblestones under their feet rock candy.

“Do you think we could...try a little of it?” Luke's blue eyes gazed at it hungrily. “I can't remember the last time we had anything to eat besides those strawberries we found last night.”

“I don't know...but I do know this house isn't ours.” Leia looked around, trying to find the owner. “It must belong to somebody.”

But Luke had already stuck his finger into the icing under one of the windows. “Leia, you have to try this. It's delicious!” He broke off a piece of the windowpane and nibbled at it.

“Well...maybe just a tiny piece.” She pulled a butter cookie off the side. “It's a huge house. I'm sure the owner won't miss one or two pieces of the wall.”

They'd been eating for a few minutes when the front door flung open, and an elderly man stepped out He wore a fine suit with a navy blue velvet cape that was too wide for his thin shoulders, flowing white silk blouse, and chocolate-brown trousers that seemed just a little too baggy and long. He had thick white hair and a tight-lipped smile in a gentle, slightly withered face.

“Who's nibbling at my house?” he asked, gazing down at the duo in a squint. “What brings you two lovely children here?”

Luke swallowed the piece of gingerbread he'd pulled off the wall. “My name is Luke Skywalker, sir.”

“And I'm Leia.” His sister wiped her hands off on the green and blue skirt Aunt Breha had bought her. “We're sorry, sir, that we ate your house, but we were hungry, and the falcon lead us here...”

“Falcon?” The old man's thin smile grew wider. “Oh yes, him. He comes around here all the time. I only see him at night, though. He sleeps in the day.” The old man opened the door. “Why don't you children come in? You look famished. I could give you a nice, hot meal and a room for the night while we search for your family.”

Luke blinked back tears. “Our family...they're dead, sir. A terrible warlock killed them on the road and stole their money. I don't think he saw us. We were able to hide in the woods.”

The man's look of concern seemed a little too forced to Leia. “How dreadful! Why don't you come in here and tell me more about it? I may be able to send one of my men to alert the authorities about this.”

Leia nudged her brother. “Luke, I don't like this,” she whispered. “There's something about this man I don't trust.”

Luke nodded. “I don't like this, either, but we don't have a choice. We don't know anyone else here. At least this man can give us a good meal for the night. He might even be able to tell us more about the warlock and how to defeat him. He does live out here.”

“My name,” the old gentleman explained as they followed him into the house, “is Sheev Palpatine. I'm a merchant, and this is my home. I do quite well out here, actually. I sell baked goods for many of the largest bakeries in Coruscant, making sure their wares get to other kingdoms.”

Leia raised her eyebrows. “I thought the merchant who lived around here disappeared.”

Her brother nodded. “Aunt Breha said he and his entire household just suddenly...vanished.” He frowned. “And that he was much younger than you.”

Palpatine's smile became even tighter. “I took over this home from the previous owner. He was too foolish to follow my advice and join my company and lost all his money.”

The house was equally tasty on the inside. Every stick of furniture was made of candy or cake. Lines of gingerbread cookies hung on the walls instead of pictures. Every one was a different shape or size. She couldn't help noticing that two of the cookies, a boy and a girl, held hands. The boy had an icing mustache and messy black icing hair. The girl had brown icing hair and rather intense blue candy eyes for a cookie.

As they passed the kitchen, Leia thought she saw a head peek out. A pair of bright hazel eyes under scruffy brown hair gazed intensely at her. He had just stepped into the hall when he grabbed his head, wincing as if in pain. She was about to ask the poor man if he had a headache when Palpatine gently pushed her down the hall.

“Who was that?” Leia asked.

“Oh, just my nephew. You'll see more of him in a minute.” The older man lead them into an elegantly-appointed dining room. Dishes made of delicate porcelain, with golden goblets and silver tableware, were laid out just for them. “Sit down, little ones. Enjoy yourselves. Eat as much as you like.” Luke held out Leia's seat and helped her in, then sat himself.

The nephew Leia had seen a few minutes before brought a huge platter of with the biggest roast beef she'd ever seen in her life. He set the roast on the table, not making eye contact with or speaking to anyone. He was very handsome, despite his messy hair and dirty peasant blouse, with thick dark eyelashes, a long, proud nose, and a scar slashing his strong chin. Though the long-sleeved shirt covered most of it, there were very distinct red patches on his chest and hands that resembled nasty burns.

Their eyes briefly met for a moment...and Leia was startled to realize how empty and clouded his were, especially compared to a few moments ago. He moved stiffly, as if he were a puppet and someone else was pulling his strings. He was accompanied by the largest, shaggiest dog Leia had ever seen. It was more like a furry mountain than a dog. He sat at the nephew's feet, whimpering and gazing up at him with sad blue eyes.

Other men in red armor eventually followed with more dishes. The twins had never seen so much food in their lives! There were all kinds of vegetables, a fancy fruit salad, soft rolls, and tons more cake and cookies. “Eat, eat!” Palpatine gave the pair his thin smile. “I do so enjoy fattening up poor unfortunates like yourselves.”

Luke smiled at the nephew, who served him green beans and almonds. He didn't smile back, or even look at the boy. “Is your nephew going to eat with us, too?”

Palpatine's laugh sounded cruel to Leia. “Him? Certainly not. He's a mute simpleton I took in because he had no place else to go. He's barely useful for menial work.” She swore she saw the nephew wince at that description, his eyes briefly filling with fire before the clouds returned.

“I don't think that's fair.” Leia played with her mashed potatoes, despite her hunger. “If he lives here, he should eat with us. He's your nephew.”

“He's a servant.” Palpatine nodded at one of the red-armored guards, who almost literally shoved the nephew out the door. The dog followed, whimpering. The old gentleman turned back to them. “Are you enjoying your meal, children?”

“Yes,” Luke insisted enthusiastically, “it's delicious!”

Leia finally decided she was too hungry to keep playing with her food. The mashed potatoes were really good, so buttery they melted in her mouth. The roast beef was perfectly seasoned, the vegetables sauteed delicately. It was all incredible. “My compliments to the chef,” she said as she finally pushed the last plate of cake aside. “That was wonderful!”

Palpatine noticed Luke yawning. “Perhaps you two would like a nap? You had such a trying day yesterday. You must be very tired.”

Leia's eyes were drooping. “I do feel a little sleepy.”

“Good!” He helped Leia out of her chair. “One of my men will take you to your rooms. I need to deal with a problem in the kitchen.”

Luke stretched. “I don't know why I'm so tired. I guess it's because we were out walking all morning, and I know I didn't sleep that well last night.”

“Luke, something is very wrong here.” Leia was just barely able to keep her eyes open, even as she followed him. “I've felt it ever since we arrived. The cookie people, that 'nephew' he treats like a slave, the dog.” She noticed as they went upstairs that a mirror had the monogram “HS” on a cameo near the top. So did a beautiful silver box sitting on a chocolate table. “I don't think this is his house.”

“You're right.” Luke sighed. “It's too bad. This is such a nice house, and really tasty. I wonder who it actually belongs to?”

They both yawned at the same time and ended up laughing again. The guard finally took them upstairs. Leia's room was all pink cotton candy and lacy golden caramel strands. She couldn't fathom how tired she'd suddenly gotten. It must have been all that walking this morning, she decided. Sleep couldn't come now! She had to figure out who that nephew was, and why his eyes were clear one minute and confused the next. And there was Palpatine. Something about him frightened her. Maybe it was the way he smiled. She didn't think for a minute that he was a real merchant.

She tried to stay awake, but sleep finally claimed her. The girl settled down on her fluffy-sweet bed, unaware that a figure cackled by the door...one who gazed over her rosy cheeks and pretty figure and thought of what a tasty gingerbread morsel she'd make...

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Wake up! Wake up, you stupid girl!”

Bony white fingers shook her shoulder. She tried to pull the blanket up to her chin, but it was yanked out of her hands. “Little lazybones! Get up and attend to your brother!”

“I...my brother?” Leia's eyes finally blinked open. The first thing she gazed upon made her scream in terror. It was a hideous old hag in Palpatine's navy velvet cape and outfit. “Who are you?” The last rays of the setting sun fell on the...she couldn't call them “men” anymore. Claws and scaly tails swished under their red armor. They shoved knives and swords in her face. Two snatched her by her arms and dragged her out of the bed. “Where's Luke?” She struggled with all her might. “What have you done with him?”

“Leia!” Luke was being shoved down the hall by two more guards. He started towards her, but they held him back. “Please, do what you want with me, but don't hurt my sister! She's all I have!”

“Luke!” It took all of the men's strength to hold her back. She fought and kicked with all her might. “Don't you dare hurt him!” The red guards finally dragged Luke off, similarly kicking and screaming for his sister.

“Oh, I won't hurt him now, little one.” Palpatine's smile was definitely cruel now. “I intend to eat him, and you. I'm a warlock, and I eat pretty youths like the two of you. You'll both make a pair of dainty morsels. But him first.” The bony fingers tugged her downstairs, finally shoving her into the kitchen. “You will work with my nephew, cooking the best food for your brother and bring it to him in the carriage house. When he's fat enough, I'll eat him...and then, I'll fatten you.”

“I don't want to be fattened, and I don't want Luke to be, either!” Leia reached for a knife...but Palpatine shot a small purple light at her hand. White-hot heat flashed through her knuckles. She screamed, the knife falling to the floor.

The old man was surprisingly agile, despite his seeming fragility. He held the knife to her throat. “Don't toy with me, girl. If you try fighting, I'll kill your precious brother right now...or better yet, feed him to the imps and demons who live with me. They don't care how thin he is. They'll eat anything.”

Leia saw the clouds briefly lift again as the nephew tried to lunge for the knife as the dog nipped at Palpatine's heels. A bolt of light from Palpatine sent them both reeling into the cookie cabinet. “You will remember your place, nephew. Unless you want me to eat that overgrown hound of yours after I finish the youths, you'd best not meddle in affairs that don't concern you.” He looked out to the rapidly darkening sky, his mouth turning up in a hideous sneer. “Besides, night is falling. Once the moon rises, you'll be very busy elsewhere.”

A white finger pointed at the stove. “You, girl, will start the fire and begin cooking the chicken and dumplings. I expect them to be done when I return.”

Leia's eyes followed him as he left the room. She'd never felt so angry and so hopeless in her life. While her father had taught her and her brother the ways of knights and how to defend herself, he hadn't taught them anything about magic.

Two groans from the cabinet finally drew her away from the door. The nephew and his dog were emerging from the remains of the cabinet. “Are you all right?” she asked him as she helped him to his feet.

He nodded, wincing...and to her surprise, his eyes were clear again. “Yeah, I'm fine, sweetheart. I'm a lot tougher than that old prune thinks I am.”

She was so surprised, she almost dropped him. “You can talk! Your uncle told us you were a mute.”

“Only when he's not around.” His gruff voice was so soft, she could barely hear him. “And only in a whisper. That old crone doesn't want anyone hearin' me and figurin' out the truth.”

Now Leia was the one who was confused. “The truth about what?”

The nephew ignored her question as the dog trotted over to him. “Hi there, Chewie. Are you ok, boy?” His canine companion's bark sounded like an affirmative. “Damn old warlock,” he whispered.

Leia grabbed his hand. “Who are you?”

“Han.” He showed her a lazy grin. “My name is Han. And this,” he patted the dog, “is Chewbacca. I need you to keep an eye on him tonight.”

“Why?” She shook her head. “What's going on?”

“I can't tell you.” He squeezed her hand. “Not tonight. Just watch Chewie for me. He gets worried when I go out.”

“But why?” She started down the hall after him, but didn't get far before she ran smack into Palpatine. “Where's he going?” The old man grabbed her arm before she could go after him.

“I'll attend to him.” He shoved her back into the kitchen. “You start cooking. I want to fatten your brother up as quickly as possible.”

Leia cooked for hours. Chewbacca the dog sometimes joined her by her side. She'd feed him bits of beef or chicken. At least he'd get a decent meal. After he'd eat, he'd stand at the window and howl at the moon until Palpatine yelled at him to stop that racket.

As she slid the chicken into the oven, she heard flapping. “Falcon!” Their friend from the woods perched in the window. He cocked his head, gazing at her with large, intelligent hazel eyes that seemed almost uncannily human. She brought him a bit of chicken and some dried berries. He squawked happily, gobbling every piece. She laughed as he fluttered to her shoulder and nuzzled her cheek. “You silly bird. I'm glad you're here. At least I have one friend.” Chewbacca barked by her side. “Ok, boy. Two.”

It happened like that every day for the next month. Leia would spent the day and much of the night cooking and cleaning the house. She'd bring all kinds of good food to Luke, who was imprisoned in the carriage house, but she and Han only had crab shells to eat. At night, Han would leave, Chewbacca would howl, and the Falcon would fly in, often bringing berries and nuts from the forest in his beak that they would share. Sometimes, they would play, teasing and nuzzling each other. Other nights, the bird would perch on the window and just watch her work.

“Leia,” Luke said, a month after their arrival, “I haven't been eating the food Palpatine's given me. Just enough to survive. I won't get fat and let him cook us for dinner!” He buried the food in the back of the hay in the stall where he was being kept. “I wish I could eat my way out, but the gingerbread making up the walls here is really stale. I tried two nights ago and almost cracked all my teeth.”

The young woman rolled her eyes. “You and those horrible demons who guard Palpatine are the only ones allowed to have decent food. Even he eats very little.”

Luke frowned. “What about Palpatine's nephew? What's the story with him? Do you think we can trust him?”

“I don't know.” Leia spoke in a hushed whisper. Palpatine was just outside the kitchen, blowing on the fire in the huge clay oven. He was close enough to the carriage house to hear their every word. “During the day, I can't get a word out of him. He won't look me in the eye, and he moves in that jerky way, like he's a wind-up toy soldier. Sometimes, I'll see a gleam in his eyes, or he'll smile at me and whisper a few words. That's when he's almost decent, if a bit cocky, with that grin...but then, he gets a headache, the clouds come back into his eyes, and he's stiff and distant again.”

“Do you think Palpatine has hurt him, or is controlling him in some way?” Luke waved his hand at the gingerbread and icing on either side. “He's not Palpatine's nephew. I don't think he's a simpleton, either.”

“It wouldn't surprise me.” Leia got closer to her brother. “Last night, before he took off, he told me Palpatine is is terribly nearsighted. That's why he squints so much.” She grinned. “When you eat turkey or chicken, show him one of the bones when he asks for your finger. He'll think you're still thin. It'll give us a chance to figure out a plan.”

Luke nodded. “I'll do anything to keep us from being eaten!” His sweet mouth turned down. “What do you mean, 'before he took off?'”

“Every night, he disappears suddenly. He's usually at his most lucid then. That's when we talk about you and how to escape.” She frowns. “I don't see him again until he turns up the next morning, moving like a puppet and avoiding my eyes and not talking.”

Luke hugged his sister. “Please be careful, Leia. Don't let that Palpatine and his magic hurt you!”

Leia bit her lip. “I almost wish the animals had devoured us in the forest. At least then we'd both still be together!”

“Don't say that!” Luke gave her a fierce hug. “We'll get out of here, and we'll take Han and the dog with us. It'll be all right.”

Palpatine came back in, sniffing loudly. The bony fingers roughly dragged her out of the stall. “You've been in here long enough, girl. You were to give your brother his meal, not behave like a lazy slattern. Go out and gather firewood from that idiot nephew of mine!” He shoved her towards the door.

She couldn't help stopping to watch as he turned to Luke. “Now, my pretty boy,” he said, his cackling voice dripping with honey, “why don't you show old Palpatine your nice, juicy finger, and we'll see if you're ready yet?”

Luke grabbed a chicken bone from the pile of hay and stuck it out of the cell. Palpatine felt it, then let out a wail. “Four weeks! It's been over four weeks, and you still aren't ready! You nasty little brat!”

“Give me time! I'll get fat!” Luke grinned. “Maybe in six months, or a year, you can come back and I'll be ready.”

“I'm not waiting that long!” He slammed the door shut, dropping the ring of keys in his pocket. “I'll cook you today, whether you're fat or thin!”

Leia turned around and rushed out to the woodpile. Han was chopping wood, his arms moving in a rhythmic, jerking motion. His eyes were focused on the wood, his face strangely expressionless. It was like he was a wind-up doll. His shirt was open at the neck, revealing a strong, gleaming chest.

“Han?” She went up to him, pulling wood into her arms. “I have to talk to you.” He continued chopping, not acknowledging her. “Han, it's Luke. Palpatine's going to eat him...and then probably eat us.” She finally reached out and took his arm. “Han, look at me! You're not a puppet! You're a man, a smart man, and you're the only one who can help us!” Chewbacca came up behind her, nudging his beloved master's leg. “You can fight whatever it is that's controlling you. I know you can.”

Han turned his back on her, putting his ax aside and reaching for more wood...but suddenly, he grabbed his head. She gasped as he let out a scream, his eyes squeezed in pain. He opened his mouth, but his voice was too soft to hear more than “let go” and “servant” and “my home.”

She could barely reach his shoulders, so she settled for putting a comforting hand on Han's back. “Hey, are you all right? Those headaches of yours have been getting worse. You seem to have at least one a day now.”

“Yeah, I'm all right.” His eyes were perfectly clear when he turned back to her. “I don't know for how long.” He gazed up at the rapidly setting sun. “Let's get in the house and give Palpatine his wood, before the old fossil splits a seam.”

Han gathered a huge pyramid of wood into his arms. He tied a small cart to Chewbacca, who pulled another pile. “Leia,” Han whispered quickly, “there's a way to save all of us, including Luke, but it's very dangerous. I don't know if you're up to it. I can't do it. It'll be dark soon, and anyway, Palpatine knows me too well.”

Leia gave him a small, knowing smile. “Try me.”

“Palpatine keeps a gold key on a key ring in the room upstairs that holds all of the treasures he's stolen. That key will open any lock in the house, including Luke's cell and the silver box on the table in the hall. The silver box holds many rings. You have to choose the plain one. Ignore all the fancy rings. Bring the key and the ring outside to the oven, where the falcon will meet you.”

Leia shrugged. “That doesn't sound so hard.”

They both winced as Palpatine's high, crackling voice rose above the rustling leaves. “You can't make a sound while doing this, or we'll all be lost.” Han shook his head. “Not one sound. You can't even scream, no matter what Palpatine throws at you.”

Leia nodded, her fists clenched. “I can do this, Han. For Luke. For you and Chewie. For Father. He must be worried sick about us!”

Han smiled at her. “It'll be all right, Princess.” She felt her heart grow quite soft and mushy. “I'll distract the prune. You take Chewie and find that key.”

Palpatine was waiting for them when they arrived. The sun was just starting to slowly sink into the bright, orange-red sky. “You may put the firewood in the oven, then help me check how hot it is. Nephew,” he smirked, “you will go outside. You'll be busy shortly.”

Han turned to Leia and flashed her that charming lopsided grin. He then proceeded to drop his entire stack of logs on Palpatine. “You...you clumsy oaf!” Leia detached the cart from the enormous dog while Palpatine was hopping around like a big, flapping bird on one foot. “I should turn you into a newt for this!” Leia managed to grab a sharp knife from a drawer as she and Chewbacca fled the room.

As Leia fled, she heard Palpatine cackle and the sizzle of lightning. Burnt gingerbread and cake reached her nostrils. “Foolish nephew! You shouldn't have tried to interfere.” The moon showed the silhouette of a large bird cage in the old warlock's bent fingers. “As punishment, you will not fly free tonight.” Han's angry whispers were eventually drowned out Palpatine's cackles...and the shrieks of an imprisoned falcon.

The beautiful gingerbread house now seemed distorted and ugly. Demons in red armor grabbed at her arms and blocked her way. She remembered the fighting moves her father, a former knight, had taught her and her brother. She stabbed and feinted at each demon. Chewbacca tore into them with his sharp canine teeth. Each demon they vanquished turned into a pile of dust the moment it was stabbed or left in bloody shreds by the dog's claws.

The treasure room was in the last door on the second floor. It was locked, but Leia and Chewbacca were able to cut and claw their way in. Leia had to restrain a gasp when she entered. It was filled with chests and chests piled with gold, jewels, and coins. She'd never seen so much money in her life!

She was searching through the chests of jewels when she heard Chewbacca bark across the room. He bounded over to her with the keys in his mouth, having found them hanging on the wall near a chest of pearls. The young woman gave him a scratch between the ears and a scrap of turkey left from Luke's dinner she'd kept for him, then put the key in her pocket.

There were even more demons in the hall, each one grabbing at her arms or her dress. Her knife flashed and Chewbacca's teeth bit down hard. They were strong and virile, but she was smaller than they, and far more nimble on her tiny feet. She ducked around them, stabbing the ones Chewbacca didn't tear into, until the floor was scattered with their ashes.

She hurried to the silver box and opened it, searching the contents for a plain gold ring. There were rings of every size and shape, decorated with everything from fancy jewels to elaborate scrollwork. Not a single one was plain gold.

The girl was about to give up in despair when she heard Palpatine's cackle. “Come here, child! You spoiled, lazy little thing! I need your help with the oven!”

She ducked outside the kitchen. The burning wood in the thick stone oven burned hot and bright, a beacon in the dark night. The old warlock held a bird cage in one hand. Leia could distinctly see her friend the falcon locked inside, holding a plain ring in his beak.

The moment she reached for the cage, Palpatine hung it on a tree branch. Leia thought the golden tree seemed to almost wince in pain. “Where have you been, girl? The oven must be prepared to cook my supper. I want you to climb in to test how hot it is.”

Leia shook her head, stepping back. Chewbacca growled at him. Palpatine's yellow eyes narrowed. “Are you such a fool, girl, that you don't know how to prepare an oven? You've done it before with my nephew.” Leia smiled and nodded. She wasn't about to let the old man cook her for dinner! “What's with you, girl?” He leaned over and pinched her. “Why don't you respond?” She had to swallow a yelp, her brown eyes as fiery hot as the flames in the oven. The dog leaped at him, but he kicked it aside. “Don't play games with me, cur!”

He turned his squinting yellow eyes on the very angry Leia. “You're getting as stupid as that nitwit nephew of mine!” She shrugged, waving her hands at the oven. “I suppose I'll have to show you how to do it again. My nephew is...in dispose.”

The moment the old man climbed into the oven, Leia shoved him in as hard as she could. She used the knife to lock the door, ignoring his screams and shouts. The moment she stepped back, the ground under her shook. There was a great explosion, throwing back Leia and the dog into another tree. When the dust subsided, a warlock-shaped gingerbread man stood where the oven had once been!

The golden tree lowered the falcon's cage to the ground. Leia took the cage in her hand and first went to Chewbacca to make sure he was all right. He was fine, though a bit shaky on his four feet. They dashed to the carriage house, where Luke met them at the door of his cell.

“Are you all right?” Luke flew into his sister's arms the moment he was released. “I heard the explosion. They probably heard the explosion all the way in Coruscant City! What happened?”

Leia hugged him as tightly as she could. “Oh Luke, we're free! I pushed Palpatine into his oven! He's a gingerbread now, just like all the people in that house of his.”

Luke leaned over the falcon in the cage. “Isn't this the fellow we met the night our aunt and uncle's carriage was attacked? The one who lead us here?”

“Yes,” Leia explained. “I think he's more than that, though.” She used the golden key to unlock the cage. The falcon flew out, still holding the plain ring in his beak. He sat on Leia's shoulder and dropped it into her hand. “This is yours, isn't it?” The falcon nodded. Leia held it up to him, sliding it onto his ring.

To the twins' surprise, Leia slid the ring onto a human finger. When they looked up, their friend the falcon had been replaced by Han, the warlock's nephew. He was clad in Palpatine's navy robes, white silk shirt, and dark brown trousers from the first day they'd arrived...but the suit fit him perfectly. His brown hair was slicked back and no longer scruffy. He gently rubbed Leia's hand, that cocky, lazy grin plastered on his face.

“Thanks, kids,” he said, his voice now gruff and strong. “You released me and everyone in my household from that fossil's spell.”

Leia's eyes widened. All around them, the carriage house was changing. Wood, plaster, and metal replaced gingerbread. The house behind them became a white manor with elaborate gingerbread trim that went on for miles. People streamed from the house, including, Leia noticed, a young woman with straight auburn hair and bright blue eyes and a handsome man with a dark mustache, dressed in the Captain's uniform of the Mexicalia army. The very trees around them shrunk and transformed into humans. Chewbacca stood on two paws and grew and grew until he became...well, he looked something like a human, but more like a friendly giant, with his shaggy hair and thick beard.

“Master Solo!” The giant threw his hands around the man in the velvet cloak. “The spell's broken! We're human again!”

Han smirked. “Or as human as you ever were, my friend.” He patted Chewbacca. “This is Charles, my bodyguard and closest companion, from the native island of Kashyyak.”

The girl bowed. “My name is Jyana Erson, and this is Captain Cassian Andorez. We too were lured from the road by Palpatine, who claimed he could give us and our men a free meal. He turned us into gingerbread instead.”

Luke couldn't take his eyes of the small, handsome youth with black hair and blue eyes who lead a whole line of servants in orange uniforms from the woods. He too bowed before the duo...but he took Luke's hand. “I'm Commander Wedge Antilles. My garrison normally protects this part of the woods, including Master Solo's estate, but Palpatine turned us and all of Master Solo's servants into trees to keep us from stopping him.”

Han only had eyes for Leia, who returned his dreamy stare. “I'm a merchant with a profitable shipping business. My home is the only one around for miles. Palpatine showed up on my doorstep a little over a year ago, looking like the nice old man he appeared to be for you at first. He said he had a business propasition for me.” The merchant's keen hazel eyes darkened. “Yeah, profitable for him. He wanted me to help him lure rich people with innocent kids into the woods, steal their money, and roast the kids for him to eat. I said 'no way.' I wasn't going to take part in something that would kill kids.”

Charles nodded. “When Han refused his offer, the warlock showed his true colors. He turned the servants and king's guards into trees and me into a dog. Anyone who came near us, he'd lure into the house, cover in cookie batter, and roast into gingerbread.”

Han played with the ring on his finger. “As long as he had my ring in that box, I would stay under his spell. By day I was a little more than a human puppet. He had control of my mind and every move I made. He told most people I was his idiot nephew, unable to speak or look anyone in the eye. I kept trying to fight his magic, but it strong and really killed my head.”

“That's where the headaches came from.” Leia frowned. “From you trying to fight the spell.”

“At night,” Charles added, “Han was in his right mind again, but only while in the body of a falcon.”

“Palpatine let me fly free at night.” Han shrugged. “I guess he figured, since I couldn't talk in that form, it wouldn't do any harm. I was just about at the end of my rope when I found you two in the woods. I saw him attack your people earlier. I knew you'd been able to escape...and I thought you might be smart enough to help me and my household escape the warlock's powers, too.”

Luke's eyes widened. “You're the missing merchant!”

His sister nodded. “Our aunt mentioned you right before we were attacked. She said your whole household just vanished without a trace.”

Han bowed before Leia. “I can't replace your aunt and uncle, but I can provide a home for the two of you and your father. Say you'll stay with us.” He gave Leia that grin. “I know you have a good head on your shoulders, Princess. I could use a partner like you who can handle figures as well as she does demons.”

Wedge kissed Luke's hand. The young man blushed pink. “And I'll make sure no warlock ever locks up either of us ever again.”

Leia smiled back. “We'll have to contact our father first. He's probably worried sick about us, but...yes. Yes, we'll stay with you.” She turned to her brother. “As long as Luke agrees to it as well.”

Luke squeezed Wedge's hand. “Oh, please yes! I like it here, now that the warlock's gone.”

They finally returned to their father in Naboo several days later, in Han's private carriage drawn by four white horses. Anakin Skywalker was delighted to see his children again. Not only that, but as it turned out, Han had recovered his fortune from the chests in the treasure room. He and his children were now wealthy again.

Leia and Luke both went away to university. When they returned, Leia wed Han, and became his partner in all things. Han's shipping business prospered for many years with his beloved wife at the helm. Luke joined the king's guard and married Wedge Antilles. Charles remained the devoted bodyguard to the Solos for the rest of his life. Anakin Skywalker retired from woodcutting, eventually deciding he preferred his small cottage and a quiet life in the woods to the life of a knight in town. Jyana and her captain were married in Mexicalia City a year after their rescue. Everyone attended their wedding, including Han and the twins.

As for Palpatine, the servants were instructed to take him out to the woods for the birds to eat. When they ate their fill, there wasn't a crumb left. And that was the end of the evil warlock of the Naboo Woods.

The End