Thursday, March 7, 2019

The Adventures of Han of the Hood, Part 4


After that, Han no longer argued about remaining with the group. He kept insisting he'd go to Du Hutt, when he had enough money, but there was always one more coach to rob or a Saxon noble who's home was threatened. Every Norman noble in the south of England became wary of riding through Sherwood. They never knew who would jump out and steal their jewels and and other valuables.

Zeb smacked a wanted poster offering a ten thousand crown reward for the capture of Robin Hood with his staff. “All they have is the person in a hood.” He drew his staff over the artwork of a person in a hooded tunic, holding a bow that was ready to shoot. “Those bloody imbeciles can't tell if it's male, female, tall, or small!.” He turned to Han. “You've got that old Sheriff right hoodwinked.”

“Aye, I'm glad of that.” That famous smirk crept across Han's handsome face. “But they'll never catch us. Not with that poster, anyway. We've given money to almost every poor person in and around Nottingham. Most of the peasants love us, and the wealthy nobles scarcely need the money.”

“Han!” Leia called as horses' hooves echoed in the woods. “There's a carriage out there. I don't think it looks terribly wealthy, but one never knows. I see a family, a man and a woman carrying an infant.”

“Who's turn is it to be Robin?” Han pulled out his arrow. “Luke was Robin last time.”

“Mine.” Leia pulled out hers and tugged the dark green hood over her thick brown braided crown. “Zeb, go get Luke, Chewie, and Thomas. It's not a large carriage. I don't think we'll need everyone. Han, stay with me.”

“Sure, Your Maidship.” He watched her shimmy up a tree and followed after, a bit slower.

Leia got up onto the strongest branches first. “Would you please stop calling me that?” She whispered as she helped him onto the branch.

“Aye, Leia.” He shrugged as he adjusted his weight next to her lesser one. “You could be a bit nicer to me, lass. Sometimes, you think I'm not so bad.”

“Occasionally, maybe.” She sucked at a splinter that had gotten into her thumb. “When you aren't acting like a scoundrel.”

“Scoundrel?” His strong hands were around her slender, pale ones before she could stop him. “Scoundrel. I like you calling me that.”

“Stop that, Han,” she muttered. “My hands are dirty.”

He kept rubbing them. “My hands are dirty too, lass. We're in the woods. It comes with the territory. What are you afraid of?”

“Afraid?” Her fathomless doe eyes met his hazel ones. “I'm not afraid of anything.”

They were nearly nose to nose now. “You're trembling. The whole branch is shaking.”

“No, it's not,” she whispered. “It's...”

When their lips met, it was like cannons going off. Every bone in Han's body melted into sweet liquid. She tasted like ripe strawberries and smelled like fresh-washed summer day. He was enjoying their embrace so much, he barely noticed Thomas' fussy voice below them.

“I say, Leia! Han!” Thomas waved both arms under their branch. “The carriage is coming! Your Maidship, you must be ready! Pull on your hood!”

Han poked his head out of the leaves just as Leia tugged her hood over her braids. Her face had turned almost as scarlet as Luke's cloak. “Thank you so much, Golden Man.”

Thomas ignored his sarcasm. “You're very welcome, Mr. Han.” Chewbacca and Artoo tugged him into the brush. Zeb lay behind a log, while a bit of bright red and a monk's cloak could be seen ducking behind the trunks of trees.

The carriage that came their way was more like a cart. A small, dark-skinned man with curly black hair and large brown eyes shook the reins on a proud gold mare. There was a bag and a lute behind him. He wore a fine blue tunic and hose, with a blue and gold silk cape that billowed around his shoulders and whistled an aimless tune as his horse clipped her way down the path.

Leia swung out first, before Han could stop her. “Well, hello there, sir.” She landed nimbly in front of his cart. “I think my men and I have business with you and that bag of money in the back there.”

The man only gave Leia a charming smile. “And who are you, my forest sprite? You sound too beautiful to be hiding among the pesantry.”

“Robin Hood, sir.” The man took her hand and gave it a kiss. She smirked into the trees before giving him her sweetest smile. “And now, we really do need that bag of yours. Call it a donation for our unfortunate king.”

“Ahh yes, His Majesty.” The man shook his head in mock sadness. “That is tragic. I heard from Prince Palpatine that they're having a hard time gathering the ransom. So many people these days are poor. They don't have the extra money for another tax.”

“Beg your pardon, sir,” Thomas began as he and Artoo emerged from the bushes, “but you hardly appear to be suffering from poverty. That cape is quite finely made, for a moor.” Artoo growled at this fellow. There was something he didn't like about his smell. He smelled oil on him...like the oil that had been on Sheriff Vader's armor at Nottingham Castle.

“Lando-a-Dale, my lady.” His white grin was blinding in the afternoon sun. “I'm a minstrel by trade who has picked up a lucrative job playing for the court at Nottingham.” His eyes flicked upwards. “I'm surprised you call yourself Robin Hood, my lady. I was under the impression that Robin was a man. In fact, I wanted to talk to him.”

Han swung, rather awkwardly, down next to Leia. He nearly stumbled into her before managing to turn himself to the cart. “Lando? I haven't seen you in years, since we were in the Crusades! What brings you to this part of the woods?”

“I'm on my way to Nottingham. They're having a big festival and contest there.” The others were starting to emerge. Chewie shuffled over in his robes and nodded at the man. “And how are you, Chewbacca? Still with this old rogue?” The taller moor spoke in his gravely bass. Lando laughed. “Well, someone has to keep Han in line.” He turned that blinding grin on Leia. “I still know the language of the old country, my lady.”

Leia ignored him. “Contest?”

“Oh, yes.” Lando returned to Han. “Thought you might be interested. There's going to be a huge archery contest and fair on the grounds at Nottingham Castle. The prize is an arrow made from pure gold.”

Luke whistled as he and Yoda emerged from the bushes. “Think of how much food that could buy for the poor of Nottingham!”

“And how many jewels we could swipe off rich Normans on the fairgrounds,” added with a smirk.

Yoda frowned. “Like this, I do not. Go, we must not. Trap, it may be.”

“He'll never know if we go in disguise.” Han grinned. “We're pretty good with those now. The servant costumes from Sir Rieekian's house might work.”

“We'll go with him.” Luke waved his hand at himself and Leia. “Thomas, you and Chewbacca can come, too.”

Leia grinned as she peered in Lando's cart. “You have quite a nice collection of capes and fine clothes there. Perhaps we could use that.”

He put up a hand. “Now wait a minute, miss...”

“We won't hurt them. We swear.” Han gave him his lopsided grin. “We won't even use them to put out a fire, like Kira did that one time.”

“We'll all go as minstrels.” Leia tugged Han's hood over his head. “Except this scruffy-looking idiot. He can pass himself off as a shepherd or forester.”

Han pulled his hood off and slicked down his hair. “Who's scruffy-looking?” He gave Chewbacca a glare as he and the others guffawed. “Laugh it up, fuzzball. You should have seen us in the tree together.”

“Why you...” Leia ignored the others, grabbed Luke, and gave him the most solid kiss she possibly could before snatching a cape from the cart and sauntering off in the woods. Luke just leaned against the a tree, his eyes rolling upwards with a small grin, as Lando whistled, Han growled, and the others continued to roar with laughter.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The Nottingham Summer Fair was one of the busiest and most popular events of the year. Chewbacca wound the carriage through throngs of people selling cakes and bread and meats, past merchants with pretty glazed pots or tapestries on display, and dozens of guards standing attention at every entrance. Leia sat up front with Han and Chewie. She was the one who addressed the guards in chain mail at the front gate, looking as lofty as she could in her gown the color of fine red wine and her white lace wrap. Glittering jewels were woven into her twin braids.

“I am the Princess of Aldera,” she snapped, “and I demand that you let me, my manservant, and our guests through. We're here on very important business.”

Han nodded quickly, trying to make his voice deeper and less recognizable. “And we can only tell the Sheriff of Nottingham about it.”

“I've never heard of your kingdom, Your Highness, and I've traveled all over England.” The captain squinted at them suspiciously. “Are you sure you're a Princess?”

“Of course, she is!” sniffed Thomas, sounding his most snooty. “The nerve of questioning my mistress! Why, I have half a mind to call for the Sheriff myself! She's a very, close, personal friend of his. She...”

Leia shook Thomas' shoulder. “That's enough, servant.” She gave the men her best glare. “Now, are you going to let us in, or am I going to have to find Sheriff Vader and tell him I'll be late for my appointment?”

The guard blanched, nearly turning white at the mention of Vader. “Yes, Your Highness.” He and his men moved away, letting the cart ride through the gate and into the crowds.

“How did we get past those men?” Luke leaped out first. “I thought we were dead.” He helped Yoda out of the cart, lifting the small clergyman as easily as if he were a sack of grain.

“Vader's name brings fear, it does.” Yoda leaned on his old cane made from a gnarled tree limb. “Fear of death, of anger. Men fear him, they do; respect him, they do not. Respect King Bail, they did.”

“It'll be all right, oh mighty short one.” Han tugged at the bow on his back and pulled his hood further over his head. “When I win the Golden Arrow, I'll sell it for more money than you've seen in decades. Just the prize money alone will pay off the rest of my debt and feed the poor for three months.”

Thomas had to put Artoo on a stout woven leash. He kept sniffing at every tent pole and barked at every other dog and bird he saw. “Behave, Artoo! This is no time to run off and chase other dogs. We'll make friends another time. Right now, we need to patrol the area and make sure the Sheriff and his men are too busy to notice us.”

“I'll keep an eye on him,” Leia assured them. Han never thought she looked more beautiful. The red silk gown was originally intended as a dance costume. She and Hera had sewn flowery satin ribbon and lace from Ireland on the cuffs, collar, and hem. Her white cloak and head covering were made of a filmy material that shimmered in the afternoon light. A crown of wildflowers circled her hair and made her resemble the fairies of legend.

“You look gorgeous.” Lando's eyes roved around her shapely figure in the gown, It was daringly low-cut, revealing every curve of her body. “You truly belong among the members of the court, or perhaps in a fairy court.”

Han quickly took Leia's arm. “Why don't we go find His Royal Jerk-ness Prince Palpatine and see when this contest is going to get started?”

Luke nodded. “Yoda and I will look for the Sheriff and see what he's up to.”

“We'll be among the spectators,” Thomas added. Artoo growled at him. He scratched his ears. “That's the last thing we need. We're supposed to be keeping an eye on the crowds and on Robin Hood, not attacking every guard we see!” The dog's bark sounded contrite. His friend made a face. “I am not a yellow-bellied coward! I'm just doing my job.”

“Enough.” Han nodded at the crowds surrounding a line of wood and canvas targets. “I think that's my place. I'll be the one beating those guys.”

Leia leaned over and gave him a kiss. “Good luck!”

He just grinned a bit stupidly. Chewbacca sighed and nudged him towards the stands as Luke and Yoda headed towards the castle and Leia made her way to the royal box.

Lando was playing a jaunty ballad for the Prince and his couriers to cover the preparations for the contest. “You know,” Han commented to Chewbacca as they got in line, “he's pretty good. No wonder he's been doing well.” Chewbacca shook his head and pointed at Lando, how his eyes kept shifting around, as if he were looking for someone. “True, my friend. He does seem to be looking out for something. After the contest, we'll ask him about it.”

As Han lined up with the other archers, he watched Leia in the striped tents reserved for royalty and nobility. Prince Sheev Palpatine was one of the ugliest, dried-up old hags Han had ever laid eyes on. Leia curtsied and gave him her best girlish smile, but he saw her make a face when his back was turned. He couldn't blame her. No one wanted the job of buttering up that so-called Prince. Her simpering seemed to work. He patted the chair next to his golden throne.

They were all lined up now. Men – and a smattering of bold women – from all over Nottingham, bakers and nobles and farm hands, all hoping to win the Golden Arrow and the praise of the Prince himself. “I wonder where the Sheriff is?” Han asked Chewbacca, who stood on the sides, before they began. “He's not with the Prince in the stands, and I didn't see him in the crowds. He's said to be the best archer in all the kingdom.”

Chewbacca frowned and pointed towards the castle. A wisp of black cape could be seen following Luke into the main hall. “I don't like it either.” Han adjusted his beloved oakwood bow. “What would the Sheriff want with Luke? Take Thomas and Artoo and follow them. Make sure he causes the lad no harm.” His companion shook his head and went on in his language. “I'll be all right, Chewie.” He tugged the hood further over his face. “No one knows it's me.”

It took a shove, but Chewbacca finally hurried towards the castle. He thought he saw Artoo follow after him, sniffing at the hay strewn on the ground with his little black nose. Thomas was nowhere in sight. “That's odd,” Han muttered to himself as they lined up for the first round. “Thomas never goes anywhere without Artoo, and Artoo is never without Thomas. I hope that old worry-wart hasn't run into trouble.”

There was no more time to wonder. Admiral Piett, the dour head of Vader's strike force, announced the start of the first round. He easily continued on to the first match, and then the second. The only man who could get close to him was Sir Boba of Gisbourne, dour and dark in his dented green and red armor. Their arrows were the only ones to continuously hit the targets dead-center.

By the time of the third round, only Han and Sir Boba remained. Boba leaned on his bow, eyeing the man in the simple brown hood. “You're quite good, Master Forester,” he stated in his low monotone. “If I didn't know better, I'd say you as good as that knave Robin Hood.”

“Why, thank you!” Han said in the closest thing he could manage to a Norman accent. “I'm quite good all right, but there are others who are finer. I've heard the Sheriff of Nottingham is one of the best in the kingdom.” He strung the arrow on his bow casually. “Where is Old Metal Pants, anyway?”

Boba snorted. “I wouldn't call him that to his face. He's choked men for less. He's at the castle.” The tall man in the armor held out his arrow and shot it from 100 paces with deadly accuracy. His monotone had a decided smirk in it when he pulled back. “I don't think anyone could beat that.”

“Oh my!” Han tried to sound surprised. “You're quite a shot, aren't ye, Lord Gisbourne?”

The quiet bounty hunter only shrugged. “I try.”

“I'm not bad myself.” No sooner did he aim his arrow than Boba quite deliberately “bumped” into him. The arrow went off-course, going high into the air. Han didn't stop to think. He grabbed another arrow and shot it into the first one. Not only did his arrow return to its original course, but it split Gisbourne's arrow in two!

Han bowed for the crowd as everyone in the stands went wild. Chewbacca whistled loudly and yelled in his native language before hurrying off to find Luke and Thomas. “The winner,” said Lando, “is the Forester from Corellia!”

Lando and one of the Sheriff's deputies lead him and Gisbourne to the stands, where Palpatine and his court looked on. He only had eyes for Leia. The deep red gown and white lace wrap gave her pale skin the look of exquisite porcelain or polished stone. Her dark brown eyes, however, were glowing with warmth and pride...but he could see the underlying concern in them.

She'd begun to stand and take her leave as a hand reached out to pull her down. She struggled, trying to push the two deputies in white armor who held her down away. Now Han knew something was wrong. Lando wouldn't quite meet his eyes as he brought him before Palpatine.

“That was some fine shooting there, young man.” Palpatine's evil smile in that warped, wrinkled face of his gave him the look of an evil hag from a fairy tale.

Han once again bowed before him. “I did what I needed to do, Your Majesty.”

“Yes, I did. And now,” Palpatine reached for a red-bladed sword with a fine silver hilt, “kneel before me, lad.” As Han did, he placed the flat side of the blade on his shoulder. “I announce you to be the winner...” The blade suddenly tore through Han's hood, pulling it off and revealing his true identity to the entire fairgrounds, “Robin Hood!” Palpatine cackled as his men leaped into the fray, a hundred swords aimed in Han's direction. “Seize him, men! Don't let him escape!”

Han was running out of arrows and out of time. For every man he shot, two seemed to take their place. Chewbacca was fighting with another group of guards while carrying something gold and shiny on his back. Artoo nipped at their heels, howling like a banshee. Han saw Lando get up next to Palpatine in the box and grab Leia's arm, allowing one of Palpatine's guards in the red armor to take her knife. The elderly prince reminded him of a death's-head and was as scary as any witch.

The guards finally knocked Han to the ground, slapping metal cuffs on his wrists and Chewbacca's. “Aye, my friend. Looks like we're in as tight a spot as we ever were.” Chewie gave him a worried growl. “Don't worry. We'll get out of it.” The outlaw tried to make his lopsided grin as reassuring as he could. “We always do.”

A groan sounded from Chewie's back. “I knew you should have come running out after Master Solo! What about me? I can barely move, and it's most uncomfortable on your back!”

Han managed to peer around the guards long enough to notice Thomas somehow strapped to Chewie's back. “What happened to you?” The slender servant's long face was so badly bruised, it closely resembled a very large dark purple spot, and his left leg hung at a crazy angle.

Palpatine stood, leaning on his cane, as the guards dragged Han and Chewbacca before him. “Well, well.” The ancient prince cackled like a witch. “Seems Lando-a-Dale was right about you. Robin Hood would never resist a chance to show off his skills. It was the perfect trap.” His sneer gave Han the chills. “Or should I call you Lord Han Solo of Corellia Manor, whose lands were bought by a certain Baron Du Hutt after the death of his father? You owe him thousands of pounds in gold.”

Han only had eyes for Leia. She looked beautiful, even struggling in Lando's arm. “Aye, Your Majesty. I only worked for him to regain what was rightfully mine.”

“No!” Leia pushed Lando aside and ran to his arms. “No! Han, I won't let you do this!”

He leaned over her and whispered into her ear. “Get out of here, lass. Release Chewie and go find Luke. Vader went after him and Yoda in the castle.”

“No!” She exclaimed. “Han, I love you!”

He just nodded. “I know.”

The guards dragged him away when they saw familiar black armor dragging a struggling, screaming figure out to the main hall. “I caught this one trying to steal our treasury, my master.” He shook Luke by his red hood. Luke clutched his badly bleeding hand; his sword had vanished. “I had to teach my son a lesson. The old friar is still at large.”

Han's eyes widened. “Your son?”

“Yes. Or so he says.” Luke gulped, pulling away. “You're not my father! It can't be true!”

“It is true, boy.” Emperor Palpatine's grin bore closer resemblance to a wrinkly dragon. “Your father has worked for me for years, ever since your mother died. You will join me, of course. I could use someone like you in my guards.”

“No!” Luke shrieked, his eyes wider than saucers. “Never!”

Lando had leaned over a man in blue armor, his blue and black visor raised just enough for him to hear. “Your Highness,” he began as they strolled into the box, “would you like to hear one of my best songs? It's something I wrote just for this occasion.”

“Now?” Palpatine narrowed his eyes. “We don't need music now. I'm in the middle of an arrest!”

“But it makes it so much more pleasant!” The minstrel in the blue and gold cape strummed his lyre as hard and loudly as he could...and then let out a note that was so much like a screech, it shattered every bit of glass within a five mile radius and forced anyone not wearing helmets to throw their hands over their ears.

This was apparently the signal for half the fairgoers to spill out on the grounds. Lando hit the back of the closest guard with his lyre. “Leia, Han,” he hissed, “get out of here! Before ol' Palpy realizes what's going on.”

Chewbacca roared and started throwing around guards, to Thomas' general horror. Han kicked at his guards as Leia pulled a short sword from under her skirts and lunged into the three guards with Vader. Luke kicked at Vader, hard enough to get him to let go.

“Chewie, go get the others!” Han shoved him off. “Leia, go with him. We're going to need help!”

Leia tried to grab his hand. “But....” Chewie managed to snatch her under his arm and run off before she could get any further, despite Thomas' noisy protests and her squawks.

That done, Han went to see if he could find Luke and Friar Yoda. He had no idea what happened to the older religious man. He found the lad kicking at Vader for all he was worth before finally aiming his foot into the one place Old Metal Pants wasn't made of iron. The moment he doubled over, the boy raced off into the crowds.

“Ha ha! That'll show Old Iron Brains he can't mess with the outlaws of Sherwood!” Han raised his bound fists in triumph as he laughed. He managed to duck around two more men and dive into the crowds, hoping to either find a bow and arrow or find Lando and thank him for saving the others and punch him into oblivion for letting Palpatine get to him in the first place.

He ducked through the crowd, pushing and elbowing his way around the people, and towards the gardens alongside the castle when he heard a familiar – and unpleasant – monotone. “Going somewhere, Robin Hood? You are Robin Hood?” Sir Boba of Gisbourne stepped out of the shadows. “Or is Robin Hood a lass in white? Or perhaps a young man with golden hair in a red cloak? The myth seems to change with each person telling it.”

Han gave him his best lopsided smirk. “Myths tend to work that way, lad. One way or another, they get passed on.”

“Your myth ends here.” Gisbourne pulled out his sword. “Baron Du Hutt is waiting for you, Solo. You've eluded him one too many times. Your band will be rounded up and captured; your lover and lieutenants are likely in the grasp of the Sheriff, even as we speak. I don't care about the Prince, or Vader. Vader can have all the heartfelt reunions with his progeny he wants. I only care about the money. And sooner or later,” his sword swung into the air, “I get what I want.”

Han lifted his arms to defend himself...and felt them fall to his sides. Gisbourne's blade had sliced through his bonds. “Ha ha! Thanks, Sir Boba! Now I can do...” He quickly lifted his visor, “this!”

The last thing Gisbourne was expecting was for Han to punch him as hard as he could in the nose. It was enough to fling him back several centimeters, and for his quarry to reach for a sword that had been lost by one of the guards. “How about you let a lad fight fair? Oh yes, I forgot.” His smirk widened. “You don't know the meaning of the words 'fair fight.'”

“Not at all.” Gisbourne easily parried Han's thrust. “I never looked them up in the dictionary, Solo!”

They were evenly matched, the two. Two swords gleamed in the rapidly dying mid-afternoon light as the duo pushed each other over and around rose bushes and flower beds. Ducking under his blade, Han gave Gisbourne a sharp kick that caused him to lose his balance and end up in the moat.

Lando picked that moment to arrive, along with three of the Merry Rebels. “Need some help, Robin Hood?” he said with a smirk. “Your friends here and the villagers are holding their own. The castle will be ours in no time.”

“There's another one to add to your collection,” he chuckled. The three outlaws and Lando's friend in the helmet fished the bounty hunter out of the moat. Han frowned, looking around Lando as Zeb and Friar Yoda trotted up to them. “Where's Leia and Chewie?”

“Lost track of them, we have. Into the castle, they went.” The elderly friar tapped his walking stick on the hard-packed ground. “Into the castle, we must go.”

All three turned on Lando, who was just starting to move back. Zeb grabbed the back of his cape before he could run. “Oh no ye don't, mate.” He lifted Lando bodily off his feet and dropped him in front of Han.

His friend only glared at him. “Start talkin', before I consider letting Zeb pull your arms off.”

“They're in the castle.” The slick musician gasped as the cord for his cape cut into his throat. “Leia told Chewbacca to take her to find Luke and Sheriff Vader...”

“Release him, you must.” Yoda tapped Zeb on the shin. “You will not find them if the musician perishes.”

Zeb dropped Lando, who nearly ended up in the dirt. “You never let me have any fun, old man,” he grumbled.

“Fun later, you will. Find others now, we must.” Yoda poked at Han with his walking stick. “Come with me, you will. Find your friends, hm?”

“I will, Friar, if you'd keep that little stick to yourself.” Han pushed it off. “Zeb, bring the others – and anyone else you can round up from the fair – to the castle gates.”

Lando rubbed his throat. “I'll go talk to my friends and see if they can keep Vader's lads off your back long enough to find your friends.”

“Thank you, Lando.” He nodded out to the fairgrounds. “Use Falcon and the cart to ride through their defenses. You'll need all the help you can get. Falcon is the fastest horse in Sherwood.”

His friend put up a hand. “All right, lad. I know what that old nag and the cart mean to you. I'll take good care of them. They won't get a scratch.”

Han looked over his shoulder as the Friar tugged him along. “I got your promise, lad. Not a scratch.”

The other man doubled over laughing. “Would you get going, before that little religious goblin drags you into the moat?”

“Go, we must.” Yoda's beady black eyes were drawn upwards. “Rescue the others, we must. Hurt them, the Sheriff will, or worse.”

The outlaw tugged his hand away from the little priest's. “All right, old man. I'm coming. I don't want to see those two harmed, any more than you do.”

The Adventures of Han of the Hood, Part 5


Nottingham Castle was as vast and dim as it was when he'd gone there with Luke and old Friar Ben, so many months ago. It was also quiet. The only noise came from the melee in the courtyard. He swore he heard the patter of small feet, and then a few small giggles, but that might have been his imagination.

“This is too easy, old one.” The outlaw's hand went to the hilt of the sword he had taken from a fallen guard.

“Agree, I do.” Yoda leaned on his own stick, frowning. “Hear noise, I do. Clang of metal, and...small feet pattering.” He winced as a crash was heard behind them. “Kind to stained-glass windows, they were not.”

No sooner had Yoda spoken those words than another platoon of king's guards surrounded them. “Robin Hood!” A tall, slender man in the gray armor of an admiral yanked out his own sword. “Gentlemen, it would seem we've caught ourselves a thief in the act of robbing the castle. Take their weapons, check both of them for stolen goods, and throw them in the dungeon. The Prince will deal with them later.”

Han's fingers went into the air. “Now, wait a minute, lads. Can't we talk this over?”

“The time for talking is done, Hood.” The admiral gave him a small smirk. “I think Sheriff Vader will be most pleased when he learns I've taken care of you.”

That was when Han happened to look over the Admiral's shoulder...and hear the sound of dozens of pattering feet. “I think they're more interested in taking care of you, Admiral!”

The moment he turned his head, Han gave him a hard right in the face that sent him crashing against the wall. His hand pressed against a lever...which brought down a large unlit chandelier on five very surprised guards!

A wild war whoop came from the hall as the people who were selling goods on the fairgrounds spilled in. Many carried arrows, hatchets, or their own pots and pans. Artoo dashed under the legs of guards, making them trip over each other. Thomas hobbled on one foot as he tried to follow his canine friend.

“Chewbacca!” Han laughed as his hulking friend smashed two guards together. “Where have you been?” The big moor wrapped his arms around Han, giving him the biggest embrace he possibly could. His friend sneezed through all the hair. “I can't see through those iron rods you call arms, my friend. Where's Leia? Is Luke all right?”

He was even happier to see Leia with her bow and arrows, shooting down another chandelier. Her fine red dress had several rips and her face was dirty, but Han had never seen her lovelier...or angrier. “Han, we have to go after Luke. My friend Mr. Warrick here,” she nodded at the dwarfish youth in the heavy apron by her side, “saw Vader dragging a young man into the castle just a half-hour ago.”

“Aye, lass, I agree with that.” He made a face. “There's just one problem. We don't know where he's taken him.”

Thomas managed to hobble over, his hands on Artoo's leash. “Artoo can find him,” he assured them. “He's an expert tracker.”

“Have no other choice.” Yoda patted Artoo on the head and let him lick his hand. “Follow this animal, we must. His nose can sniff things ours cannot.”

“All right.” Han took Artoo's leash as Thomas leaned on Chewbacca. “Lead the way, pup.” Leia put a bit of Luke's red cape under the bluish-white dog's nose, so he'd know the scent.

Artoo's nose dropped to the wood and stone floor, sniffing around noisily. “What is it, boy?” Thomas hobbled over as his pet howled, then bounded to the staircase. “I think he says that Luke's trail leads up the staircase, along with that of Sheriff Vader and Prince Palpatine.”

“Let's get up there, now.” Han pulled out his bow. “And everyone be careful. If you have a weapon, don't hesitate to use it.”

The little white dog snuffled his nose right up the stairs, going all the way to the last floor. The others followed the energetic pup, with towering Chewbacca and diminutive Mr. Warrick helping the still-lame Thomas. The little dog finally stopped by a heavy door at the very end of the hall on the top floor, getting up on his hind legs and scratching.

Han frowned as the sound of clanging and cackling could be heard. “I think the lad is in trouble.” He turned to his towering moor companion. “Chewie, would you do the honor?”

The big man in the red robes and bandolier nodded, growled a bit in his language, and wrapped his ham-sized fist in cloth torn from his robe. The others stood back as he slammed it straight through the wood, reaching in to open it and allow the others inside.

They came in just as Sheriff Vader shoved Luke against the wall. The lad's familiar red cape was in tatters, his borrowed sword skittering behind him. Leia and Han rushed to him as Artoo ran to Vader, tugging at his cape. “Luke?” Leia handed him his sword. “What's going on? Are you all right?”

“Aye, lad.” Han put his hand on his young friend's shoulders. “If Vader's harmed ye...”

“No, I'm not all right.” Luke turned to Yoda as Han and Leia helped him to his feet. “You lied to us, Friar! To Leia and to me!”

“You did me a great service, Hood.” Vader held his heavy sword with the flashing blood-red blade at the quartet. “Bringing me my daughter and son. If you turn them over to me, I may even get Baron Du Hutt to lift your debts.”

Han lifted his chin nobly. “Not a chance, Metal Pants.” His eyes widened as the first half of his words registered. Leia's face was equally shocked. “Your daughter? You mean...Leia...”

“I am no child of yours!” Leia leaped in front of Luke and whipped out her own bow and arrow. “I'd rather be the child of a frog than you!”

There was the hint of a smile under that black visor. Vader's sausage fingers touched Leia's soft cheek. “You're so much like her. Padme...you have her smile, her eyes. I should have known her half-brother would try to protect her...”

“She died!” Leia nearly shrieked. “Died when I was less than a year old. Died because you attacked her! She never recovered from her wounds.”

Palpatine's cackle echoed over the heavy stone walls. “Of course, she didn't. It's rather difficult to recover from being strangled and thrown to the ground.” He reached for Leia as Vader went after Luke. “Give them to us, Solo. Yes, I know who you are. Your father was as worthless as you. I was glad when Hutt sent Gisbourne to eliminate him. Discreetly, of course.”

“I already dealt with him.” Han put up his last arrow. “He'll be spending a long, long time in a dungeon. Matter of fact, there might even be a space open for you.”

Yoda held up his own cane, giving Palpatine a sold thwack in the side. “Caused enough trouble, you have. Lied to Vader, and to all, you did. Wanted throne, you did. Took opportunity the moment Bail left.”

“The kingdom should be mine,” Palpatine sneered. “Not that lily-livered half-brother! He's running off to the Crusades, leaving no one here to rule! I took over! It's mine!” He took a sword from a rack and countered Yoda, cracking his cane in half.

“Old man!” Han kicked Luke's sword to him. “Here! You deal with the Cackling Hag. We'll handle Metal Pants.”

Luke was shaking his head. “No, Han. I will not fight him.”

“If you won't,” Leia raised her bow. “I will.” She aimed her arrow at his heart, but was blinded by anger and got his shoulder.

Vader gasped. “You're...very good...girl.” Blood seeped out from between his fingers. “If your brother...won't...join...me...perhaps...you will...”

“No!” A scarlet-clad body leaped onto Vader. The last thing the hulking metal-clad lawman was expecting was for his very angry son to tackle him, his fingers wrapped around his neck. “Don't you touch her!”

Han finally pulled out his arrow and shot it right at Palpatine. He was moving too fast and it hit his shoulder...but that was enough distraction for Yoda to stab him in the other arm. “I think we've all had enough of this!” He whipped around and, with Leia and Thomas' help, managed to pry Luke from Vader's grasp. “Lad, that won't do anything. His neck is bigger than all our fingers except Chewie's.”

“I just...I saw red...and then I was standing over him.” Luke stumbled back into the arms of his friends, his horrified blue eyes on Vader. “I'm not like you! I'm a Jedi. A warrior. Not some fear-mongering monster!”

Palpatine screamed, falling to his knees as he clutched his wounded appendages. “You were all such fools!” His cackling more closely resembled a laughing beast than anything human. “Bail ran off to the Crusades without even considering what it would do to his country. You,” he pointed a long, bony finger at Vader, “did everything I told you to, without question. Did you ever consider that I might have lied?” His laughter became even louder. “I never cared about your silly wife! I wanted your fealty, not your problems. You helped me get rid of those Jedi monks without ever asking me why I wanted them gone. I only wanted your strength and your children's loyalty!”

The youth pulled away from Vader as he leaped onto Palpatine, his voice filled with controlled rage. “You vile...contemptible...scheming...to think I listened to you for all those years! No more!” The massive metal arms hefted the hag prince over his shoulder and heaved him out the window. The prince's screeching could be heard for miles, ending with a crash as he landed on rocky courtyard below.

Lando darted up, following Thomas and Artoo, just as Vader swayed and landed on the floor with a clatter. “What happened to His Royal Terribleness? He just...flew out the window! They're scraping up what's left of the body right now.”

“He decided he wanted to fly, then forgot he didn't have wings.” Han and Chewbacca managed to get Vader to his feet as Luke helped Yoda. “I think Old Metal Pants here owes a lot of us a very long explanation. About many things.”

“That I do, Hood. Locksley.” The beaten knight sighed. “I know who you are, Solo. Son of Sir Josiah Locksley, of Soloshire Manor.” His voice softened. “Palpatine was the one who ordered Soloshire burned and your father hung, but my men and I did the deed. Palpatine shared the profits from the land with Du Hutt, whom your father was in debt to.”

Han nodded. “So Du Hutt told me. The fat old ass told me the only way I would live was if I paid off his debts after he was branded a traitor and killed.”

“Children...” Vader's breathing was even raspier than usual. “Take me downstairs. I need to...put myself under arrest...”

“But Father,” Luke began, “you can't do that!”

His newly-discovered sister glared at him. “It's more than he deserves.”

Thomas had gone hobbling over to the window. Artoo lifted onto his paws on the window, while his human glanced over him. “Oh my,” the slender man in yellow gasped, turning a shade of pea green that clashed badly with his tunic, “I'm afraid the Prince has gone and gotten himself a bit flattened. At least two carriages ran over him. It's not a pretty sight...” Music and cheering from the fairgrounds just beyond the courtyard attracted his attention. “What's that?” Artoo barked and nodded. “Yes, I can tell it's humans. It sounds like they're cheering for a parade, or maybe royalty.”

Three of Lando's men dashed upstairs, including the one in blue. He quickly talked to them, then turned to the others. “You won't believe what Sir Rieekian found wandering around in the woods. The King is home!”

“What?” Han's eyes widened. He grinned and took Leia's arm as Luke and Chewbacca helped Vader to the door. “Sounds like your uncle's returned, lass. Shall we greet him?”

“Of course.” Leia gave him a grin. “I'm sure he wouldn't mind having an outlaw for an inlaw!”

Lando lead the group through the throngs of peasants to the very front of Nottingham Castle. It was a rather merry, if bedraggled, little group. Han and Leia followed Lando and his men, happily arm in arm, not really paying attention to anyone else. Mr. Warrick and his fellow shopkeepers followed them, chattering proudly with pride at the part they played in bringing down the Prince. Chewbacca, pulling Luke, Vader, Yoda, Thomas, and Artoo in a small cart, was next. Zeb, Hera, and the rest of their group brought up the rear from the crowds.

Everyone bowed or curtsied when they made it to His Majesty. King Bail Organa was as handsome as ever, with his salt and pepper hair, mustache, and thin beard. His own tunic and hose was in an equal sorry state; a tattered dark robe hung from his shoulders.

“Uncle.” Leia flew to his side and embraced him. “How did you escape the Austrians? We never did pay your ransom...”

“Several Saxons living in Austria were able to secure my release. I came on foot with three of my remaining loyal men. I knew what my wayward half-brother would do to me if he found out I was in England, so I disguised myself as a peasant, stayed at a few inns, and discovered what he's been up to the last few years.” His dark eyes became haunted. “One of the innkeepers told me what happened to Breha. My Breha. My dear wife. I loved her, Lelita. I loved her more than life itself.”

“I miss her, too.” Leia leaned sadly into him. “I suppose, now we can use that money we earned to rebuilt Alden Manor. She would have liked that.”

Bail nodded. “I think so, too.” He gave Sir Rieekian, who rode up next to him, a sad smile. “Don't you think so, Carlist?”

“I do. The queen was a good woman. What happened to her was a crime.” The older man jumped off his horse. Two bags of gold hung off either side. “I was bringing my repayment to you when I ran into the king and his people. I had to talk to Palpatine and Tarkin at the fair anyway, so my people and I gave him a ride.”

“Your Majesty.” Vader – or Sir Andrew – bowed before him as well as he could in his dented armor. He pulled off his helmet, revealing his horribly burned and pitted white face. “I'm turning in my commission as Sheriff, and am putting myself at your mercy. I have a long list of infractions, going back to the death of Lady Padme Amidala of Naboo Town.”

“Sir Andrew.” He frowned. “I'd long suspected you were the one behind my brother's mischief. I'm afraid you'll have to go on trial. At best, you'll be spending the rest of your life in the dungeon. At the worst, we may have to hang you.”

Sir Andrew ignored the horrified look on his son's face. “I understand, Your Majesty.”

“Uncle Bail.” Leia pulled Luke, Chewie, and Han up to him. “These are my friends. This is my brother,” Leia said this breathlessly, as if she couldn't quite believe it, “Luke Scarlet.” She patted Chewbacca on the back. “This is Chewbacca, of Jerusalem. He wants nothing more than his family to come to safety. And Thomas Gildenrod and Artoo,” she added as Thomas was dragged over by the fat white dog. The girl looked up at Han with a dreamier smile. “And this is Han Locksley of Soloshire Manor, Uncle Bail. He helped rescue me, and our friends and I saved him from Palpatine's trap.”

Bail grinned. “So you're the outlaw I've heard so much about. On one hand, I appreciate what you did in trying to earn enough money to free me and help people like Sir Rieekian who were effected by my brother's ridiculous taxes.” His handsome face fell. “On the other hand, I'm afraid stealing is against the law...and you do owe money to Du Hutt.”

“Look, Your Royal Lawfulness,” Han started, “I'm ready to take the blame. You can put me in the dungeon with Metal Pants or turn me over to Du Hutt, but leave the others out of it.”

Leia took his arm. “If he's under arrest, Uncle, so am I. I also was Robin Hood.”

“So was I!” Luke stumbled next to her. “I had nowhere else to go after Vader...Father killed my aunt and uncle. The Rebels of Sherwood gave me a home.”

“Your Majesty.” Lando bowed before him. “My name is Lando-a-Dale. If anyone should be punished, it's me. I'm the one who nearly lead to Han ending up in Du Hutt's clutches.” Chewbacca stepped up beside him, growling. “Him too.” The minstrel took his arm. “Han saved him from a Jerusalem prison.”

“And us!” Thomas hobbled next to Chewbacca, with Artoo darting under his legs. “We went along with it. Reluctantly on occasion, I may add.”

Zeb pushed his way through the crowds, followed by Mr. Warrick, Hera Syllendula, Ezra, and the other Rebels of Sherwood. “You arrest one of us, Your Majesty, you gotta arrest all of us. We work together.”

“That's right, sir.” Sabine gave him a little bob. “We're a team. We all did the robbing.”

King Bail put up a hand. “The only person under arrest is Sir Andrew, and that for murder and fraud, not robbery. There isn't room in my dungeons for all of you! However,” he added, “robbery is still a crime. Most of you are now officially exiled from Sherwood. I never want to see you doing more than passing through there or picking up a rabbit for dinner. If I hear about any more outlaws there and they fall under your description, you really will spend some time in the dungeon.”

“What about us, Uncle?” Leia's grip tightened on Han's arm. “What about Han?”

“I heard what happened to Soloshire Manor.” Bail chuckled. “You'll need some way to rebuild that. How would your salary as a deputy to the Sheriff of Nottingham work?”

“A deputy? Me?” The outlaw's hazel eyes widened. “You want me to be Sheriff?”

“Why not?” Bail chuckled. “From what I saw at the fair today, you're an amazing shot with a bow and arrow, and my niece seems to like you. Besides,” he turned to Leia, “our new Queen is going to need someone by her side that she can trust.”

Leia bowed deeply as everyone else dropped to their knees before them. “Thank you, Uncle. I'll try to make myself worthy of your legacy.”

“I'll make your coronation official next week, before I return to the Crusades.” He next turned to Luke. “You'd make a fine deputy, lad. I heard you're quite a fiend with a sword, and a fine leader in your own right.”

The youth put up a hand, shaking his head. “Your Majesty, thank you, but I'm not interested in a commission. What I want is to restart the Jedi Order. My father helped Palpatine destroy them. I think it's time they returned. England could use some spiritual guidance.”

“I agree, my boy.” Bail gave him a pat on the shoulder. “You have my support, and my money. Many of the Jedi, including the late, lamented Friar Ben, were my good friends. I'd love nothing more than to know their ways are being carried on.”

“Help him, I shall.” Chewbacca aided Yoda in climbing out of the cart. “Begin again, the Jedi must. Stop others like Palpatine, they can. Bring hope, they can.”

“Abbot Yoda!” Bail gave the tiny old priest a big hug. “I thought you were dead!”

Yoda pulled away from his smothering cape. “Reports of my death, greatly exaggerated, they were. Helped the young people, I did. Steal, I did...but necessary, it was. Starving, the people were. Starving, they still are. Help, you can. Help,” he poked his cane at Leia and Han, “they can.”

“We're going to have a long talk with the Court about my brother's taxes tomorrow.” Bail turned to the other citizens of Nottingham. “Yes, we are going to talk, and we're going to remove or lower every one of the taxes my brother placed on this land. My niece, our new Sheriff, his deputies, and I will work to undo all the damage he did, and right all the wrongs he committed.” He put a hand on Han's shoulder. “That includes arresting Du Hutt and restoring your lands to your family, Locksley. I only knew your father briefly, but I heard of him. You're a better man than he ever was.”

Han just gave him a lopsided grin. “Thanks you, Your Majesty.”

“The way my niece is looking at you, I think I'm going to be your uncle-in-law soon.” He put an arm around Han and Leia. “Why don't you call me Uncle?”

“Aye,” Han winked. “Your Uncleship!”

Bail threw back his head and laughed heartily. “I fully approve of this one, my Lelita. You couldn't have picked a better man.”

Leia chuckled. “I think so, too.” The roars from the crowd reached deafening proportions as she went over to Han and kissed him as deeply and passionately as she knew how. “I love you, sheep herder.”

He gave her the famous grin. “I know!”

Han and Leia were married by Friar Yoda a week later, in the chapel on the edge of Sherwood Forest. Most of the town were there, along with Han's new deputies Zeb, Hera, and Sabine. Luke had found a new recruit for the Jedi in young Ezra; they stood alongside Yoda in their cassocks, both beaming proudly. Chewbacca, Han's best man, sobbed louder than anybody. He gave an impassioned speech in Arabic that only Han and Lando understood; even Han shed a tear after he was done.

Luke, Yoda, and Ezra left the next day. Bail had given them land on the Irish island of Atch-To to build a new monastery and restart the order. Wedge drove him there; he and his friends frequently brought supplies, news from the outside world, and new recruits to the small church and chapel there. Luke and Ezra missed their companions on the mainland, but they were happy in their new home. Yoda remained the head of the monastery until he died two years later. After that, Luke took over for him.

Leia became a much-loved queen in her uncle's stead, taking over for him all together when he died in his last trip to the Crusades. Han remained Sheriff for many years, with Zeb, Hera, and Sabine as three of his best deputies. Chewbacca resigned his deputy commission to help take care of his family after Sir Rieekian paid to have them brought over from the Holy Lands.

Under Han and Leia's direction, Soloshire Manor and Alden Manor were rebuilt. Han offered Lando a title, but he claimed he was happier playing for royalty and gambling his way across England. Vader was arrested for life for a long list of infractions ranging from first-degree murdered to treason to conspiracy against the crown. He died in prison a year later, broken from his experiences.

As for Leia and Han, they had a little son, a boy with thick dark hair and his mother's porcelain skin, whom Han hoped would make a wonderful king someday. “Better than an outlaw, right, Your Worship?” He gave his wife a kiss one day in the gardens outside the newly-repaired Alden Manor. “Did you really think I was all that terrible when I was an outlaw?”

“Maybe sometimes.” Leia leaned into him as she pushed her son's cradle. “Sometimes, I actually miss that silly sheep herder.” She smiled. “But then I remember...I still have the best man in all of England, no matter what he is.”

Han gave her that famous grin. “I think you do too. I love you, Leia.”

She gave him a little grin of her own. “I know.”

The End

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Upcoming Stories

This is a list of stories I'm working on, hope to work on soon, and am developing ideas for. Keep in mind that this list can and will change depending on what I'm interested in at any given time and what else is going on in my life.

Currently Working On:


Star Wars Original Trilogy

Fairy and Folk Tales

Robin Hood

Coming Up Next:

Star Wars Original Trilogy
Novels/Novellas

Superhero Story (Alternative Universe 1970's Superhero/Action Fantasy) - Leah O'Malley is an intern in corrupt Coruscant City by day in 1977. By night, she's Force Girl, a superheroine who is a member of the Rebel League, a society of superheroes and vigilantes who fight the regime of the evil Mayor Palapatine and the devious Chief of Police/super villain Derek Veder. Lucas Weston is a geeky college kid and major comics fan who discovers that the owner of a local book store/comics shop was once The Negotiator, a great World War II/Golden Era superhero...and that Lucas is the inheritor of a superheroic dynasty. Lucas seeks help from Harris Arietta, a carpenter and handyman whose dog Chewbacca always rides with him and acts as a Team Pet.

Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Novels/Novellas

Resistance Kids: The Last Good Cop (Alternative Universe - 1950's) - Rey is the first student at Luke's new police school, but he's wondering if he should give up teaching after the destruction of his previous school. Meanwhile, the First Order Gang is back on the street, including Ben Solo, and they're gunning for blood. Then Poe's beloved sports car blows to bits in front of his eyes, and Hank vanishes and his business is ransacked.

Remember WENN
Novels/Novellas

Once Upon a Time In the Land of WENN (Alternative Universe Fantasy/Fairy Tale) - Even when Elizabeth and the others leave Port Harbor, looking for the Emerald Talisman, trouble follows. Lady Gloria Redmond has no desire to even discuss the magic that caused her so much grief. There's also the evil candy witch Pavla Nemcova, who has both Jeff Singer and Sir Victor Comstock in her grasp, to contend with.

In Development: 


Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Novels/Novellas

Troop Beverly Hills (Alternative Universe - 1980's Comedy) - Leia Ortez-Solo is one of LA's best criminal defense attorneys, but her home life is a mess. Her husband, race-car driver and car repair shop chain owner Harry Solo, is threatening divorce. Her son Ben just got out of jail for arson and armed robbery. On a suggestion from her best friend, romance novelist and amateur astrologist Amilyn Holdo, she takes a position as the head of her niece Rey's Wilderness Girls troop. No one else has been able to figure out what to do with this motley assortment of rich girls and tough tomboys who aren't into the usual cookie-selling and craft-making. Good thing Leia isn't, either. She's determined to show everyone - including Edgar Snoke, the militant head of the First Order Troop - that it takes all kinds to make a Wilderness Girl, whether she lives in the wilds, or the wilds of Beverly Hills.

Hello Leia! (Alternative Universe - Musical-Inspired) - Leia Solo-Levi is the best-known matchmaker in New York City in 1907.  She's hired by her ex-husband Harold Solo to find a match for their son Benjamin, who can't make up his mind between the severe police chief's daughter and anarchic son of one of New York's richest men. What she wants is to re-marry her husband, but he has his eyes on a woman in town. Meanwhile, she engineers a meeting between Harold's clerks Poe and Finn and two cute girls in Manhattan, Rey and Rose. They all come together at Harmonia Gardens, the restaurant owned by Leia's brother Luke, for a most memorable evening. 

Remember WENN 
Novels/Novellas

Captain Victor, Man of Power (Alternative Universe Superhero/Action) - Set directly after the first season episode "There But Before Grace." Tired of dealing with (and being run all over by) sponsors and confused about his feelings for Betty and Grace Cavendish, Victor Comstock imagines himself as one of those new superheroes that have become popular with the kids, Jeff as his sidekick, Betty as the new girl reporter on the block, C.J as a scientist, Ceila as the daughter of a missing scientist and Victor's other sidekick, Hilary as a snooty actress-turned-society-reporter, Mackie as their boss, and Grace as a Dragon Lady-type villaness.

The Best Radio Christmas Pageant Ever - A kind of "missing scene" story set during the early first season. Victor wants to present the story of the Nativity on the airwaves, but the kids starring in the show are unruly, Hilary wants a bigger role, the sponsor is turning the show into a commercial, and Ceila will have nothing to do with it. And there's reports of a major snowstorm heading for Pittsburgh...

On the Edge of the Precipice Series

The Fox and the Falcon - Betty finds herself head over heels involved in espionage when the true leader of the spy ring becomes known...and Victor Comstock returns with startling news...

Remember WENN Fairy Tale Series

Hilary's Story: Beauty and the Beast - Wrap-around segments set day after fourth-season episode "You've Met Your Match." Story based around third and fourth season. Angry at Scott and Jeff for their behavior the night before and in the past few months in general, Betty and Hilary concoct the story of two sisters who discover that the beastly owner and manager of a dilapidated theater may not be what they appear on the outside...or even inside...

Mr. Eldridge and Gertie's Story: The Man Who Minded the House - Set after and based around the fourth season episode "Work Shift." Mr. Eldridge recalls the story of how a man and a woman (him and Gertie) learn that the grass isn't always greener in someone else's work area when he takes over her household duties and she works in the fields.

Needs Work/On Hold: 

Star Wars Prequel Trilogy

Novels/Novellas

The Road to Coruscant (Mid 20th Century Alternative Universe) - Ben Kenobi and Anakin Walker are singers taking their vaudeville act on the road. Anakin is forever coming up with moneymaking schemes that get them into a few little problems with the law, to the annoyance of Martin Windu, their long-suffering manager. They have no problems romancing the ladies, either...until they encounter beautiful, elegant dancer Patricia Amidala. Patricia, a genuine noblewoman, is in a heap of trouble with the nasty Count Dooku and Lord Palpatine. Anakin says it's up to them to get her out of it. Ben...wishes they could just go home to Los Angeles, but Anakin is his best friend, so he does it anyway.


Fairy and Folk Tales


Swan Lake


Star Wars Original Trilogy


Han Solo, Private Eye (Alternative Universe 1940's Mystery/Thriller) - Han Solo is a private detective with a squalid apartment in one of the shadier parts of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in 1947. He's a bit surprised when rich dame Leia Ortez comes to him to find out who murdered her adopted parents Bail and Breha Ortez. Han, Leia, and Han's big partner Chuck go from the Wharf to Society Hill in order to flush out the corruption at the very top of the City of Brotherly Love...and flush out a not-so-brotherly killer.


Western (Alternative Universe Western Adventure) - It's 1867 in the untamed plains of Coruscant, Idaho. Former homesteader Luke Walters longs to be a sheriff, like his late daddy Anthony was before him. He may get his chance at an apprenticeship when the current sheriff, Ol' Ben MacKenner, deputizes him to help rescue rancher's daughter Leia Ortez from the bandits who have raided and burned her home. They also get more dubious assistance from Harry Solo, a shady gunrunner, and his partner, Native American warrior Chewbacca.

The Music Han
Guys and Dolls

Star Wars Anthology Series

Heist Story (Alternative Universe - Solo: A Star Wars Story) - In 1965, Henry Solomon grows up on the mean streets of Chicago as a poor pickpocket for a local mob. He's hoping to eventually make enough money to marry his girl Clara and head out west. He manages to get out via the Navy, but Clara remains behind. Now going under the name Hank Solo, he finds himself in Vietnam without a paddle, at least until he's helped to go AWOL by a gruff old Russian named Charrel. He's recruited by a gang to take a big armored car job, but it goes wrong, landing them on the wrong side of the big Vegas mob the Crimson Dawn. They hire smooth gambler Lance Caliss and his gorgeous vintage Falcon car to take them across the Vegas desert to the Kessel Iron Works, and then make the infamous run on the Kessel Highway to take down Dryden Vos at his Twin Blades Casino and Hotel. 

Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

Novels/Novellas

The Wizard of Oz (Alternative Universe Fantasy-Wizard of Oz-inspired) - Rachel "Rey" Gale lives with her Aunt Leah and Uncle Harry and their two farmhands on a farm outside of Jakkuson, Kansas in 1939. She feels like her life is as gray as the world around her, especially after the nasty man who runs the First Order Manor near-by threatens to take her beloved Westie Terrier BeeBee to the pound and her grouchy cousin demands his share of the farm. 


A tornado whisks Rey and BeeBee over the rainbow and into the land of Oz. Oz is under the tyrannical rule of the Warlock of the West and his apprentice. Queen Leia was imprisoned in her own magic bubble and banished to the lands of the South, where she amasses an army to stop him. She once ruled with her husband and her wizard brother, but her husband vanished after he was attacked by her son, and her brother is hiding in the Emerald City. 

Rey has to go to the Emerald City to find the Wizard Skywalker, with the help of a cowardly lion-soldier, a scarecrow who had once worked for the queen, and the Tin Smuggler, who seems to know a lot more about the queen and the Warlock of the West and his apprentice than he'll let on...

1920's Melodrama (Alternative Universe - Roaring 20's Action/Adventure) - Rowena "Rey" Knight has traveled all the way from England to work with the great Luke Waterson, the most decorated and popular reporter to ever have written for the Hosnia City Daily Star. But when she arrives, Hosnia is under siege from the First Order Company, a criminal organization that uses a legitimate business as a front for everything from bootlegging to kidnapping to gambling. Luke Waterson has gone into hiding behind his desk at the Daily Star. His sister, Leia Waterson-Solomon, is the town's mayor, but she and her task force, including bush pilot Poe Damerez, can't hold out much longer against Arlington Snoke and his protege Kylo Ren. The arrival of Rey and former First Order Company worker Finn Finnegan may be what Leia needs to turn the tide. 

1980's Nightclub Story (Alternative Universe - Action/Comedy) - It's 1981. Poe Damerez, with money provided by his boss, Galactic Records owner and president Leia Wallace, has just bought the former Rebel Alliance nightclub in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, just a few minutes outside of Philadelphia. He's hoping to reopen it as a dance club and music showplace...and that his first act will be no less than Leia and the Falcons. The Falcons started as a jazz trio after World War II, before adding two more members and moving on to becoming a pioneering rock and folk group.

Poe has several headaches from the get-go. First of all, while Leia is all for playing a one-time-only gig, none of her former band mates agree. Harry "Han Solo" Shaw, the manager and saxophonist, is now a manager for several low-level groups who is known for his shady activities. Guitarist and dancer Luke "Skywalker" Wallace is living in retirement in Philadelphia and has no desire to rejoin the music business. Laurence "Lando" Craydon has vanished all together. There's also Leia's business partner Amilyn Holdo, who is wary of the entire scheme. Not to mention, the First Order Company is after the land to build a shopping center...and their vice-president Kylo Ren has his own reasons for not wanting the Rebel Alliance Club rise again.


Singin' In the Rain
Newsies
Sequel to Tales of the Gold Wookie
Police Academy

Remember WENN

Maltese Falcon Film Noir Spoof II (Alternative Universe Film Noir/Mystery) - Wrap-around set during the late third or early fourth seasons. Hilary and Scott give two different sides of the tale of a dame who may or may not have gotten a private eye involved with smuggling and murder.

Ceila Short Story - Missing scene set during the first season episode "A Capitol Idea." Ceila says good-bye to the station after she's hired by the guy who wanted her to promote Blondie cartoons.

Fairy Tale Series

Jeff's Story - Aladdin and His Magic Lamp
C.J's Story - Jack and the Beanstalk
Victor's Story - King Arthur
Ceila's Story - Goldielocks and the Three Bears
Mackie's Story
Eugenia and Mr. Foley's Story

Original Children's Short Stories

Stories based after childhood memories, including:

Painting someone else's fence.
Little kids running through other people's yards when Mom and Dad aren't looking.
Beach frolics - walking home from the beach as a child

Introduction - The Snow Queen

This is a story I've been meaning to do for a long time. I first got the idea in 2016 and had originally planned on doing it during the winter of 2017...but then Carrie Fisher died, and it just didn't feel right. One way or another, it kept getting pushed further to the back burner. One of of the things on my "to do" list for the new year is to clear out a lot of old Star Wars fanfic ideas that have been lingering on my story ideas list for two years or longer, or ones that revolve around the Original Trilogy.

Luke, Han, Leia, and Chewie arrive in a planet of snow and ice that's a bit less hostile than Hoth. They get a warm greeting from Lady Gerda, but the head of the planet, Queen Frostra, remains mysterious and aloof...until Luke disappears in the snow, and the other three take off across Norweden's frozen plains to rescue him from the Snow Queen.