Fairy Tale Blank, Part 26

Charles ducked away from the multitudes that petrified him and out to an alcove off the the ballroom, near the balcony. “Much better,” he murmured. “The air is fresher.” His long arms gently lay Brett against the balcony. “You'll be less heavy down here. After we restore your husband and revive you, we'll get you to losing a few pounds.” He chuckled softly. “Starting with cutting it down to two cases of vodka a day.”

Swords clanged as men and women swung from the tapestries and threw fluffy pastries and cream pies at each other. Slippery icing and upended baked goods made it hard to walk across the floor without skating on it. Guards surrounded Gary, Sarah, Elaine, Bobby, and Sir Convy. The two largest guards threw a net over Orson, dragging him to the ground. Four trolls penned Gene in, grabbing at his wand and the sword he snatched from a nobleman.

“Thanks, boys.” Ira ducked behind Gene and snatched his wand from his grasp, then swung around and held his sword on his throat. One of his men grabbed his sword. “Rayburn, you're under arrest for high treason against Queen and country, all the damage the UnJolly Green Giant did in Holly Woods, and conspiracy to kill me and Her Majesty.”

Gene held his chin high as one of the trolls yanked his arms behind his back. “Do what you want to me, Ira. I've lived a long life. Just let the others go, and tell that witch you work for to free Orson and the other trolls from her spells.”

“Not in my job description.” He patted Gene's shoulder. “Nothing personal, Rayburn, but you're all going to have to be executed. Starting with you. You broke the law. You know how it goes.”

“Very well, Ira,” Gene sighed wearily as Ira lifted the sword to his chest. “Make it fast. Just,” his eyes softened for a minute, “tell my wife Helen I love her.”

“Very romantic, Rayburn,” Ira sneered. “I'll mention to her the next time she's serving my dinner that her traitor of a husband died like the coward he is.”

“Stop, Sheriff Skutch!” Three tiny lights of red, green, and blue winked in the rapidly emerging moonlight. Two figures rose before the windows, one taller than the other. The shorter wore a fine white cape with a hood over wisps of silver-black hair.

Charles grinned as everyone else gasped. “Ri...er, Robin Hood!”

“That's him!” a pretty young red-headed woman with delicate features and a Britannica accent exclaimed. “It's really bloody Robin Hood!”

Meredith squinted upwards next to her shocked mother. “I thought he'd be taller.”

“I swear,” Victoria muttered, “I've seen that guy before. Recently, in fact. Really recently.”

Richard and Lee swung side-by-side together, Lee on a tapestry, Richard on the chandelier. “Darling,” Richard told her the moment he landed, “could you deal with those unpleasant gentlemen who are manhandling our friends?”

“Absolutely. Don't you boys make any sudden moves,” she purred as she held her knife on the closest guard's neck. “Or I may have found a new pincushion.”

“Skutch, let him go back to his Helen,” Richard called out, blocking Gene from his sword. “You're after me, not him.”

Ira gave him a nasty smirk. “I'm going to enjoy this. Boys, keep an eye on Rayburn. He's a wizard. They're tricky bastards.”

“Hey now,” Richard growled as one of the guards held a knife to Gene's neck, “I told you to release him!”

“They're keeping him out of mischief.” Ira chuckled. “I want the honor of finally finding out who you are on my own.”

“I'm afraid,” Richard admitted in a nasal voice, “I'm going to walk out of here, and you'll be dead.” The smirk in his voice was undeniable. “You hamburger!”

Charles watched the two go back and forth from his cubbyhole. Neither man gave an inch, jumping and spinning and slashing around each other. Richard was the superior fencer, being agile and fast, but he was also still recovering from his energy being drained. Ira had no such concerns. He slammed into him, pushing Richard further and further back.

“Richard!” Lee screamed, “watch out!” It was all she could to keep the two guards she fought with at bay. One finally grabbed her from behind and shoved her arms at her sides as she struggled wildly.

Richard looked over his shoulder at Lee's cries, which gave Ira his chance. He slashed the bandit's shoulder, leaving a bloody gash, then shoved him to the ground. The sword flew from his fingers, skittering across the shiny polished floor and out of the nobleman's reach.

Charles gulped as the sword bounced to a stop as his feet. Could he...no, he couldn't. He wasn't a warrior. Couldn't handle a sword. His lessons with Richard were hopeless..and that crowd...but his friends...

“No, Ira!” He grasped the sword's golden hilt in his shaky hand and slid in front of Richard. “Come on, make my day!”

“Charles?” Richard groaned as his jaw dropped open. “What in the bloody hell are you doing?”

“Honestly,” the minstrel whined, “I have no idea!”

Gene grinned as three lights flitted around the guard who held him. Vines attracted by the green light tugged the silver wand out of his pocket. “I'll take that,” he chuckled as the vine courteously slid it into his hand.

“No fair!” Ira whined as he kicked the vines away. “I don't have help from rainbow mosquitoes!”

“MOSQUITOES!” The indignant squawk from the blue light shook the vines and made several people jump back. “Do I look like a mosquito to you?” Debralee screamed as she emerged in her human form. “How'd you like another bath?”

Ira glared at her. “How'd you like to be arrested? The basement isn't exactly a two-story mushroom with all the amenities.”

“Ira, come on!” Charles snapped hotly. “If I take you down, you have to let Robin Hood and my friends go.”

“Look, Charlie,” Ira fussed, “you shouldn't be playing with that little knife. You don't know how to handle it.”

“No, I don't,” he admitted firmly, “but I can't let my friends get hurt.” He lunged for him, making it intentionally comic, slipping and sliding past him. “Play something snappy!” he told Clifton as he whirled past him.

“We'll help!” Gary yelled as he jumped on the stage. “Clifton, I can sing and play the drums!”

“I can play the xylophone,” Sarah added helpfully.

“If you give me a guitar, I'll figure something out,” Orson snorted and showed his claws. “I have built-in picks!”

Victoria jumped on the stage. "I can sing. I'm not shabby at it."

“Ok then, folks,” Clifton said with a grin to his sudden band, “make it funny and make it loud!”

It was more noise than music, but that suited Charles' purpose. He danced around Ira, poking him in the side and limbo dancing under his swing. He made sure to focus on twirling away from Ira's shiny sharp blade and not the crowds of onlookers that brought back too many scary memories. The crowd cheered and called out suggestions and dance moves. He thought he recognized a skinny redhead in a golden gown yelling “Kill him, Charles!” at the top of her lungs, while her smaller male friend in the blue jacket pumped his fist and screamed for Ira to get his rear in gear.

“Nahh nahh!” Charles stuck his tongue out and wiggled his fingers in his ears. “You missed me!”

“Well, if the goofballs back there would can the racket,” Ira whined, “I might be able to focus on what I'm doing!”

Charles took that opportunity to grab Ira and swing him around the circle of onlookers. “You don't need to see to dance!” He snatched a rose from a nobleman's boutonniere and stuck it between his teeth. “I'll lead!” He tangoed Ira across the room, finally spinning him into the crowd. He twirled and kept twirling until he landed back-first into the dessert buffet, sending pastries and cakes into the faces of startled onlookers.

“Whoa!” Gary yelped as he and Sarah pulled their capes over their heads. “Pies and cakes at ten o'clock! Take cover!”

“I didn't know balls were so dangerous!” she added, wide-eyed.

“Elaine,” Bobby added as a slice of chocolate cake grazed his face, “I think this would be a good time to start rounding up the others and leaving this party.”

Puffs of cream came close enough to leave a white streak in her hair. “Oooh, I think you're right!” She ran her finger across the chocolate fudge frosting on his cheek. “But you do taste nice.”

“Thank you, thank you!” Charles bowed for the crowd. “I love an audience! As long as I'm not in them.”

That was when the door flung open. “Do you know any more dances?” Orson growled as trolls stomped into the ballroom, making the chandelier quiver on its gold chain.

His eyes widened. “Uh, I don't think those guys are really interested in learning the Hustle. It's time we hustled on out of here, before they make us wet spots on the floor.”

The trolls pushed back the audience as they all screamed and started for the door. “No one's going anywhere!” Ira bleated frantically over the din. “Get the minstrel! You're all under arrest!” He waved his sword at the musicians. “And you, and you, and the Jolly Green Giant, and Blondie in the red cape, and the kid in the other red cape, and Robin Hood...where is he, anyway?”

“Oh, why don't you dry out?” Richard complained from under his hood as Lee kissed his neck and wrapped a torn strip of petticoat around his wounded shoulder. “I'm busy.”

“Ira,” Gene chuckled as he tapped his wand on his hand, “it looks like you've lost control of this party. What a shame. I can't imagine what your boss will say.”

“I know what I'll say,” Charles yelped as the trolls formed an oncoming green tide. “Take cover!”He ducked away, just missing the stampede as the trolls leaped into the crowd. “I think this place is getting too busy for me,” he muttered as he discreetly tip-toed back to the balcony. “Time to find Brett and blow this joint.”

The alcove, however, was empty. “Brett?” He called nervously. Not a trace of her remained. “Brett? Come on, this isn't funny! Where are you? You couldn't have gotten up and walked away!”

It was a beautiful night to take in the view of the extensive gardens on the balcony. Charles probably would have gotten more out of it if he wasn't so worried. Brett was nowhere to be found. She wasn't leaning against the ornate gold leaf railings, or gazing out into the clouds of creamy white and scarlet roses, or kissing the woman in the yellow outfit...

He raised an eyebrow. Wait a minute. Kissing? Two silhouettes framed the next balcony over. Fannie's red hair and blue gown glowed in the pale moonlight. She'd just leaned over to kiss a busty blonde in creamy white Swiss lace. They embraced one another, necking and murmuring sweet nothings in the moonlight, before she gazed furtively into the ballroom and hurried back.

“Fannie?” He caught her hand before she could leave. “Where did you go? Richard's been looking for you! And who was she?”

“Charles,” she sad softly, “she's my lover. Been my lover for over a year. We've been out here for the past twenty minutes, ever since the fairies got Gene away from that annoying Sheriff. I've looked for her and for Lee all night.” Her blue eyes flicked up to his. “She's my Princess Charming. I tried to explain to Richard, but...I guess I didn't know how to say it.”

He nodded with a small, knowing smile. “I understand, Fannie.” he added quickly, “Malade's trolls are here, and I can't find Brett anywhere. We need help. You're one of the only ones with magic, besides Gene, Elaine, and wherever Marcia is. I think I heard her in the audience somewhere. Didn't know she was so bloodthirsty.”

Fannie nodded at the young woman. “Get together later?” The blonde grinned, gave her another eager kiss, and hurried off the balcony. “Her name is Alma Mae. Pretty, isn't she? Smarter than she looks, too. She's one of Malade's attendants. We were working together in the Underground, and one thing lead to another...”

He threw up a hand. “I don't want to hear it. I just need your help. We have to find Brett, and we need to take out those trolls.”

“Well, I can't tell you where Brett went to,” Fannie admitted with a snicker. “You might want to look for the nearest open bar. Taking on the trolls...” A slow, sassy grin spread across her face. “That, we can handle.”

Fairy Tale Blank, Part 27

“Can't we go back the normal way?” Charles wailed. He never rode on a cloud before, and he hoped never to again. He liked something more substantial under his rear end when he was thirty feet in the air. “A saddle would be nice!”

Fannie swatted him as she directed the cloud into the ballroom. “Oh, don't be such a baby! It's the only way to travel.” She waved her hand again, creating a whirlwind that lifted two trolls and deposited them in the rafters, where they screamed and clutched the wooden beams for dear life.

“Fannie!” Richard waved to her as he and Gene made their way through the brawling trolls. “What happened? Where did you go?”

“It's a long story,” she sighed. “But right now,” she twirled her hand, sending another whirlwind to carry two trolls through the hole in the wall Orson made, “I'm a little busy.”

Charles rubbed his rear as Gene helped him to his feet. “Am I on the ground?” Gene helped steady him, but he still wobbled a bit. “The next time I go flying, I want something real under me. I'll take a nice, big bird, or maybe someone could invent a flying carriage.”

“We'll discuss it later. Right now,” Fannie insisted, “let's get rid of some of these smelly fleabags and clear the air. I thought this was a ballroom, not a fur-ridden garbage dump.”

Richard took her hand and helped her off the cloud. “Your brawl awaits, my lady.” His fingers fumbled for the crystal slipper as Jo Ann, Debralee, and a few nobles gathered around them. “Fannie, I wanted to give you this, but you ran off before I had the chance.” The shiny shoe easily slid onto her bare foot. “I was hoping to be your champion, Princess Patricia, but then I lost you, and...”

“Shh.” She settled for giving him a hug. “I'm sorry, but that role is taken. I'm glad you're my friend, though. It's the thought that counts. I wondered where my shoe went to. I've been thumping around half-barefoot for hours.”

“That's all right.” Richard smiled, then gave Fannie a kiss on her cheek as the crowd sighed, cheered, or whispered to their neighbor. “Now, how about we deal with Ira and his moving couches?”

“What's going on here?” Ira shoved his way through the crowd as trolls grabbed at squawking nobles. “Who's the cute redhead?”

“The cute redhead,” Fannie snapped, “is the Princess Patricia, of Elmwood Estates, and she does not appreciate the way you and those giant stuffed toys with claws have been treating her friends!” She whirled her hand, sending a heavy gale-force wind blasting through the room.

“What in the...” Ira didn't have the chance to grab someone as everyone else in the ballroom grabbed each other or the columns to keep from blowing out the doors. “Hey! Hey, what is this? What are you doing, lady?”

Fannie gave him a very nasty smile. “Just clearing out some unwanted guests.”

“Yeah, and the wanted ones, too!” Charles held onto the stage for dear life, his eyes wide under his big glasses. “Fannie, you can turn it down now!”

“Oh, very well,” she huffed over the roaring wind. The whirlwind died out, with the last of it spinning out that same hole Orson made on entry. “I was just having fun!”

The moment the wind died, Ira toppled face-first onto a potted plant. “This,” he moaned as he dislodged his face from the dirt, “isn't my day!”

“Uh boss,” one of the trolls rumbled as he grabbed Ira by his collar and dropped him on his feet, “what should we do now? That red-haired lady has magic!” He looked up and pointed at the rafters. “Even the guys who can't fly went flyin'! I want to ask her if she can make me fly. I always wanted ta learn to fly.”

“Oh trust me, sugar,” Fannie purred evilly, “I can teach ya.”

“Would you forget that?” Ira growled, trying to stand on wobbly legs. “Go get her! Get all of them! I'm tired of all these interruptions and distractions! The queen will be here any minute!”

Charles gulped as the remaining trolls surrounded their group. “Ok, Fannie,” he muttered, “can you blow all of them to kingdom come?”

She shook her head. “Some of them, yes, but it would take me the rest of the night to get rid of all of them!” The clock in the back of the room chimed 11:30, making her wince. “And I don't have much time, remember? The fairies' powers wear off at midnight. We all have to get out of here, before we're explaining rags to the cream of the Nerdocrumbesia crop.”

Richard took Lee's hand as she pulled out her own knife. “You know,” he admitted, “if I'm going to die, there's no place I'd rather die than with you.”

“Aw, that's sweet.” She swiped at one troll who grabbed at her arm with it. “Not that I believe a word of it, but it's still sweet.”

Gene pressed Gary and Sarah behind him. “It's over, Ira. There's too many of us, even with your ugly army.”

“How could you say that?” Ira gloated, waving his hand around them. “I hold all the aces! There's nothing that could possibly stop me now!”

“I wouldn't say that!” Betty shoved her way through the door to the back hall with a frying pan. A flood of peasants in mud colors brandishing kitchen knives, gardening tools, or pots and pans followed her. “You don't know how much the servants and people in this town hate your boss.” She smacked Ira right in the backside. “Allen and I wanted to replace you anyway. Hooking up with Malade against us! You'll be lucky if we don't toss you in jail for life!”

Ira stood over Betty, trying to look innocent. “Your Majesty!” he stammered, putting on the widest smile he could manage with her pan aiming at his parts. “How are you doing? I didn't expect to see you so soon! I mean, I thought you were dead! That's what Malade told me!”

Betty raised an eyebrow. “Do I look dead to you? And don't answer that question.”

“Gene!” A tall chestnut-haired woman with a square jaw and twinkling dark eyes ran into his arms. “Where the hell did you go? I've missed you so much!” She looked elegant and poised, even in the plain brown peasant's smock and apron she wore.

He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her ear. “I've missed you too, Helen. You were always on my mind, no matter where we went. I promised you I'd find the Legendary Princesses, and I did.”

“Yes, you did.” Helen looked quickly around her, frowning. “Where are they?”

“One is right over there,” Gene explained quickly as he pointed at Fannie, who waved her hands to blow coconut cream pies into trolls' faces. “The others should be around shortly.”

Elaine giggled as she tossed cream puffs on trolls. “This is the most fun I've had since the time I dumped that whole pail of cream on Malade's head! Boy, was she mad!”

“You're going to have to tell me about that sometime,” Bobby chuckled. “You finish with the pies. I'll handle these guys.” He grabbed the troll who reached for Elaine's bosom. “Mind if I cut in?” The ugly, lumbering creature didn't have time to react before Bobby whirled him over to the widening hole and let him dance through. “You might want to watch that two-step,” he added, peering through the hole. “You were a little slow back there!”

The little frog on Betty's shoulder leaped between trolls, licking them with his slimy tongue. When they tried to grab him, he'd jump away as fast as he could. They'd mistime the grab and fall into their neighbor, or would look up and get orange cake in the face.

Charles nearly stepped on the little fellow, whose pale yellow-green color matched the floor. “Hey there!” He gently gathered the frog into his hand. “Are you lost? I'm looking for Betty, too. Or at least Gene. This is getting out of hand.” He shivered as a wave of overwhelming coldness swept over him. “I'm sure Malade must have heard something by now.”

“I agree.” The frog scrambled up his arm and to his shoulder. “This has gone on for much too long. The Password is 'queen.' Let's find the one that won't kill us, before we run into the one that will.”

“Hello there!” One of the servants trotted up to him, a wide smile on her stout face. She sported the same plain brown tunic and kerchief around her black hair as the others. Her eyes, though...Charles thought there was something in her black eyes. Something cold and unfeeling that didn't match her beaming round countenance. “I found this poor lady by the balcony,” she said in a sickeningly sweet voice. “Do you know who she is? Perhaps we should bring her to her stepmother. She'll know how to help her.”

“It's her stepmother who did this!” Charles scolded.

The frog croaked as he leaped onto her head. “She can't hide this! I saw it when I...when she came into the garden after she tried to seduce the King.”

Charles was still wondering how the frog knew about that when he climbed up her face and ran his tongue over her. The slime dripped down, taking part of her face with it...revealing wrinkles and familiar third-degree burns.

“You little ass, giving away the game!” The maid screamed, letting Brett fall with a thump. Black light surrounded her as her skin folded and peeled away. Charles carried Brett as quickly as he could from the grotesque sight.

“Brett!” Marcia shouted, pushing her way between two servants who were hitting trolls with frying pans. “What happened to her? She looks slightly older than usual.”

Bill skidded right into her back when she stopped. “Could you warn me when you do that?” He rubbed his sore nose and peered behind her, frowning. “What happened to Brett? Doesn't she know what standing in the sun too long will do to her skin?”

“I know what happened,” Richard growled as he, Lee, and Gene ran over. “Stole her energy. Malade pulled the same trick on me at the Summer-Winter Castle.”

Charles gulped. “So she's mostly dead. And Arlene isn't here this time.”

“Charles,” scolded a little green light bobbing over his head, “remember what we told you in Sherwood Forest? You're one of the champions. You're the one who can save her.”

“I'm not a champion!” he whimpered. “I don't have magic. What can I do?” He held her hand and leaned into her. “Brett,” he sobbed, “I wish I could have stopped her! I...I argue with you because I care about you. I miss teasing you and drinking on the ship to Andersen Bay and even making fun of your hair.”

The crowds parted as Malade shoved through people, squeezing the struggling frog in one hand. “What are you doing, you wretched musician? Hand her over, and your frog friend,” she shook the bug-eyed amphibian, “won't get hurt.” She threw the little frog into a small burlap bag. “That will hold you.”

“No!” Charles cradled Brett in his arms. “I sing this a lot,” he murmured to her, “but I really mean it. I won't run away this time!”

The moment Charles started singing “It Only Takes a Moment,” Malade fell back, her face twisted in agony. “Stop! Stop it this minute!” She screamed, flinging a small burst of fire straight at the duo.

Charles gasped as the fire hit his back. It wasn't enough to do more than give him burns that bubbled over his back and singed his toupee, but he didn't care. “I'm not afraid of you anymore!” he yelled over his shoulder to Malade. “You can toast me, roast me, throw me around. I don't care. Just don't hurt her.”  

“Charles,” Joyce called as Malade sunk to the floor, “we'll sing, you get Brett's energy back! After all,” the little fairy chided gently, “you're Snow White's true champion. You know what to do.”

“Did we say the princesses' champion had to be married to her?” Jo Ann added. “There's other kind of love in the world besides the romantic type, you know!”

“I...I do know.” Charles gasped as he stumbled over to – and nearly over – Malade. “You don't like what I do,” he told the prone woman as he shook his finger in her burned face. “Music is beauty, and truth, and love, and all the stuff in this world you hate.” He picked up “I Believe In You” this time as everyone in the ballroom – even some of the trolls – sang along to the best of their abilities.

The fairies fluttered around his head the second that green light jumped into his palm. Light flowed around him, energy, pure natural energy. He felt...kind of cranky, and a little tougher, and a lot more determined. And older. He felt it creak in his bones, but something in his mind said he wasn't ready to give up on his body. This had to be Brett's life, he thought. Her magic. Not his.

Orson held up her head, while Gary gently pushed his red cape under it. “I learned a little about healing from a doctor named McLean who used to be part of the 4077^th Apothecary Division.” His cherubic smile turned sad. “Wish I knew where they all are now. Malade didn't like the light magic healing we did and broke up the division after she invaded.”

“It'll be all right,” Charles gently told his young friend. He nodded at Brett. “Gene, can you open her mouth?”

As soon as Gene's magic pressed against her chapped lips, he cupped the light, letting it flow into her mouth. The light seeped into every pore and wrinkle on her body. Gary yanked the weary Charles back as it became too bright to see. They threw up their hands, protecting their eyes and each other.

When the light subsided, Brett got up on her elbows, her long dark eyelashes fluttering. “Hey...” she croaked. “Charles? Why's there green flashing before my eyes? Hope that's not my life. I always thought there'd be more sex in it.”

“Figures that would be the first thing you think of after coming back from the dead,” Charles snickered as he offered her his hand. “Welcome back, Susan.”

She smirked and took his hand. “Thanks, Victor. By the way, your toupee is still crooked.” She gave him a quick hug before he let out a yelp. “Victor...Charles...” She pulled away her hand, revealing blood and puss. “What in the hell happened to your back?”

“M...Malade...” Charles whimpered, his hand going to his wounds. “She was going to burn you. Burn us. I couldn't let her...”

“Shh,” Brett murmured, tearing off her sleeve and using it to wipe the bubbling skin. “I can do something. Nature's healing, you know. I do this for my boys when they skin their knees. Gene, Gary, get him on his front. Watch his glasses.”

“P....please...” he said softly as they lay him face-down on Gary's scarlet cloak, “this is a lot more than a skinned knee. Can't you leave it to the apothecaries?”

“Nonsense!” Brett ignored her stepmother sputtering behind her, gently placing her hand on his back. “I know what I'm doing. I'm slightly older than you. By a year or two.”

He expected the light to be hot, but it was soothing, calming, more like a soft rain shower or a gentle breeze through the leaves. It smoothed the bubbles and cooled the raging inferno on his spine. When he reached back, his hands came up on slightly scarred skin.

“Thanks, Susan.” Charles sat up and gave her a grin. “We're even now?”

She grinned back. “Even.”

Fairy Tale Blank, Part 28

“Oooh!” Malade shrieked as she struggled to her feet. “I do not appreciated being ignored!” She snatched the bag that held the wiggling frog. “You try anything else, any of you, and your little amphibian friend will be dinner for my trolls!”

“No!” Betty jumped out, unable to help herself. “Leave him alone! There's something about him...”

Black light flashed from the hands Malade lifted to the sky. Every person it touched instantly stopped moving as faces and limbs hardened. “Brett,” Charles yelped as they dove under the cream-covered dessert table, “what did you do?”

“Me?” she squawked. “Betty was the one who opened her mouth and begged to get some frog back!”

Betty crawled under the table next to them. “I didn't think she'd throw a temper tantrum!” She frowned, pulling her arm away from a streak of light that turned the remains of a pie into stone bits. “His eyes...the frog's eyes. I've seen them before.”

Richard and Lee rolled under the table next to them. “Getting a little crowded under here,” the bandit smirked, his eyes sliding to Lee. “Damned crowded, at that. Sort of cozy, if you know what I mean.”

“Focus on taking Malade down first,” Lee reminded him curtly. “Then we'll get cozy.”

Just outside the table, Charles saw Gene swing his wand, creating a shield of silvery light that fought the stone away from him and Helen. Sir Convy wasn't as lucky. He didn't wave his arms fast enough. When the light subsided, he was now made of the same sandy gray stone as the statues in the rock garden. It surrounded Fannie's lover Alma Mae, too, though Fannie herself was nowhere in sight. The fairies dodged the lights, but it surrounded Orson and Sarah. One tough beam tried to catch Debralee, but she soared out the Orson-shaped hole in the wall.

“Gary!” Charles screamed. “Watch out!”

His warning came too late. “Go away, you damned light!” Gary snapped, trying to fight it off. “You won't...no...” Stone covered his legs and stopped him in his tracks. “Sarah...Mast...” The stone rose up past his face and mouth before he could finish calling out. It trapped Sarah reaching for her sweetheart and Orson running for the door.

“Oh my god.” Gene gasped as he swatted the light away. “Malade, what have you done?” The ballroom was wall-to-wall stone. “I can't free all of them!”

Brett made a face. “There's no way I'm kissing all of them, either.”

“And they wouldn't want to kiss you,” Malade purred as she peered under the table. “Well, look what I found. Hello, Betty. Where did you run off to? I haven't decided what I'm going to do with you yet.”

“Hello, Malade.” Betty's voice dripped with sarcasm as Charles helped her out from under the table. “You're looking like yourself today. It's about time your outsides were as ugly as your insides.”

“And it's about time we learned who's the real queen around here,” the evil witch snarled. “Come quietly and I may consider not harming your precious husband.”

“Allen!” Betty yelped in horror. “Where is he? What did you do to him? We saw you turn him into something...”

“I know what she did to him,” Fannie grumbled as she emerged from behind a tapestry. “Turned him into an animal, just like she did to her guards who disobeyed her. I saw her do it when I made my deliveries.”

Malade only laughed again. “Your powers, kitchen wench...I can feel them. You're one of them. One of the Legendary Princesses. No matter. I can eliminate you as easily as I did the others.”

“How about two of us?” Marcia added as she dragged a protesting Bill out of the servant's hall. “Yeah, hi, Malade. Thanks for the nap. Haven't felt this rested in years.”

Bill Cullen ambled slowly behind her. “What's all the commotion up here? I was having a wonderful conversation with the kitchen maids when everyone suddenly grabbed pans and left! Naturally, I had to see what all the fuss was about.”

“Cullen,” Malade purred. “Ahh, the head of the wizards. Thought my bodyguards killed you off years ago, old man.”

He frowned as his eyes roved over to the rock-covered Sir Convy. “I left before you could have that chance. I see you're still attacking our kind. As a matter of fact...” He waved his wand, creating a silvery soft light. “I thought I'd deal with you myself.”

“Good.” A wave of her hand brushed Cullen's mist into the nearest statue, making it rise into the air. “That'll make it easier to kill all of you. I only need to wait for midnight, and then...I'll have my revenge.”

Charles didn't like the sound of that. “What happens at midnight?”

Joyce fluttered worriedly over his head. “That's when our powers are at their weakest. It's why the clothing spell ends then. We sewed your clothes by hand, and they should stay the way they are. But everyone else's...”

“She's right,” Gene added as he pushed Helen behind him. “Wizard powers don't work so well in the dark, either. That's why you lured me out at night, right Malade?”

“Of course.” She stroked his cheek before Helen slapped it away. “Now, to transform the rest of you into stone...”

“Wait,” Charles whispered as voices and loud thumps shook the gold-leaf roof over their head. “What in the hell is that?”

Gene looked up with a wide grin. “Oh, that's just my secret weapon. Bill, use the signal!”

The two men turned and waved their wands at once, creating a fireworks display of silver and gold sparkles that lit up the ballroom brighter than the sun. No sooner did they fade than a fist the color of coffee smashed down one door while a familiar ax splintered the other one, almost flattening the statue of Sir Johnny Olsen that remained frozen by the steps.

“Nipsey! Della!” Richard called out, laughing and waving at his friends. “What took you so long?”

“Sorry, Rich,” the big man yelled back with a grin, “but we got caught in the cross-town traffic. You wouldn't believe how bad the Holly Woods Highway is at this time of night!”

Richard grinned ear to ear. “I'll believe it, old friend.”

“Hey boss,” Donald, complete with cigar and thick mustache, stuck his head in. “Is this a private party crashing, or can anyone join?” Patti, wearing her blue dress and blinking with wide eyes, stumbled in behind him.

“Oh, yes, that.” Malade smirked, creating a ball of fire in her hands. “Hello, little mermaid. Enjoying your time on land, dear girl?” She took one look at Donald and nearly fell over laughing. “Oh, he's the one you chose? That idiot? I thought you picked something dashing!”

Patti quickly reached into a glass of wine and made the sticky liquid leap out and douse the flames. “Thanks, hon,” Donald gasped, jumping back. “I thought I'd end up roasted on a spit there for a moment!”

“Does this make all of you?” Malade's wide smile showed sharp, even white teeth. “Do we really have all of the Legendary Princesses here, at last? And oh my, look how late it is!”

Joyce fluttered to the clock. “She's right,” she gasped as the first bong echoed in the room. “Our magic...” Her green light flickered, returning her dress to its original leaf design. “It'll end when the clock strikes twelve.”

Fannie's eyes widened. “Now?” She covered herself with her hands as her pale blue gown flickered. “I think maybe it's time we got outta here...”

“We can't leave!” Brett yelped. “Not when we can all take her!” She thrust her hand onto one of the vines left on the floor. It flickered and jumped, but didn't wrap around her.

“That's when us champions come in.” Richard whipped out his bow and arrow and stepped in front of Fannie, even as his orange jacket and trousers frayed and faded.

Prince Bill ducked behind a gold silk curtain as his blue coat faded and the silk shirt under it frayed. “Anyone got a non-magical tunic on them?”

“Good thing I'm wearing my own clothes,” Della snorted. She settled for running head-first into Malade, tackling her. “Nipsey, hon, help me hold this snake down!”

“I'll be there, my sweet strong pear!” He called as he tackled Malade's other side, grabbing her arm. “You know, this is kind of fun. How many people can say they tackled an evil witch on their first real date?”

Della grinned back. “Better than dinner and a theater show.”

“Meanwhile,” Nipsey added, grabbing at the bag, “I'll handle this.” He opened it up and let the gasping frog hop out. “Here you go, old fellow!”

“Thank...you...sir...” The frog moaned. “You'll be...richly...rewarded...”

“Aw, it was nothing.” The big man chuckled. “You don't have to give me flies or anythin'.”

Marcia stepped back a little, rubbing her head. “Um, is it me,” she muttered, “or is Malade starting to glow?”

Charles frowned as Patti sagged in Donald's arms, her ragged breathing almost in time to the bongs behind them. “Donald, is there something wrong with her?”

“Sweetheart,” the balding man in the mustache fretted as she fell against him, “what's wrong?” Her legs flickered in and out. “How come you look like half a fish?”

Brett's eyes widened. “She's turning back into a mermaid! Donald, kiss her while we go get her voice!”

“Voice?” Della grabbed Malade by her shiny black hair. “Do you have her voice?”

“Yes, I do!” Malade growled. Muted dark light slowly flowed around her. “If I had her voice, she wouldn't be able to tell her champion how she felt about him! Besides, I need it for the spell! A part of each princess!”

“Well, we want it back, please.” Donald ran his hands up and down her body. “Where are you keeping it? Come on, lady, don't be shy.”

Malade glared at him, her face almost as thunderous as the bongs from the clock. “Watch were you put your hands, you little creton!”

“Hey, be nice to that creton!” Della smirked and yanked the pendent from around her neck. “You looking for this, shorty?” she drawled, the shell necklace dangling from her finger.

“Yeah. Thanks, Della!” Donald said with a grin as half-ran, half-slid back to Patti, who clutched the table to keep herself upright. “Ok, sweetheart, let's figure out how to do this...”

“Um, Don,” Charles tapped on a hook keeping the pendant closed, “I think this opens it.”

Donald made a face. “I knew that.” He unlatched the hook, watching wide-eyed as a blue light surrounded her throat.

“Donald, kiss her!” The clock's final bong almost drowned out Joyce's cry. “Kiss her now, or she'll belong to Malade!”

His eyes widened. “What?! Oh, no way, lady! She doesn't belong to anyone but herself!” Patti puckered up and closed her eyes, scrunching up her nose hopefully.

Gene wrapped his arms tightly around Helen as lights around the room flickered and died. “Hold on, everyone! There's no telling what will happen now.”

“I can tell you what'll happen,” Fannie groaned remorsefully as her gown reverted to her ragged servant's dress. “We're all going to end up half-naked, that's what will happen!”

“Aww!” Elaine wailed when her lace and frills fell away, returning to her peasant dress and purple apron. “But I liked that outfit! Are you sure I can't keep it?”

“Sorry, sweetie,” Jo Ann groaned, rubbing her head, her red rose gown now back to being a rose petal mini-dress. “After midnight, our magic weakens. That's why we try to be back in the fairy realm by then. We're stronger there.”

“Patti?” Donald's eyes widened as she collapsed in a heap on the floor. A pair of shining turquoise fins emerged from under her dress. “It was you. All along. I've known it from the first. You're the fish lady who saved me!”

“Yeah, hon, it's me.” Patti honked in a rusty nasal voice she hadn't used in two weeks. “It's just...help me up, ok? I can't walk like this.”

Donald gasped as he tried to keep his arms around her. “I didn't know fish could get this heavy!”

“Hey, watch it!” Patti grumbled. “I'm a mermaid, a mammal like you, not a fish! I just have a tail like a fish.”

“Well, you can't do anything on the floor, love,” Richard reminded her as he and Donald hauled her onto two chairs. “Matter of fact, it may be tough to do anything like that on land.”

Betty stepped back as Malade's light became stronger and grew brighter and taller. “Um, folks, in a moment, it may be hard for any of us to do anything! Isn't she getting a little too tall for the room?”

“I knew we should have had that skylight put in,” the frog muttered.

The light grew and grew, smoking and lengthening and moving upwards, as Malade's sweet laughter became heavy growls. Charles watched in horror as her ears became pointed, her sharp teeth grew into talons, her nails sharpened into claws, and leathery wings spread on her back.

“Holly moly!” Bill wailed from behind the tapestry. “She's a demon! A giant demon!”

“Nice to see your true form, Stepmother,” Brett snarled. “I've known for years you're no human. You couldn't begin to understand the depth of human emotions and logic.”

Charles blinked. “You're...a dragon?”

“A demon,” Malade purred as her head bumped into the chandeliers. She strode forward, knocking everyone off their feet as the grandfather clock in the back of the room sounded the final bong. “Let's clear out a few more nuisances.” she hissed, “starting with this one.” Before Betty could react, she plucked the frog from where he'd stumbled. “I could eat him,” she murmured, dangling him over her mouth and slowly lowering him to her sharp claws, ignoring Betty's shrieks of horror. “But I think I'll spare Her Majesty such an ordeal, and just play a little game. Let's see how well he sticks to the wall!”

“No!” Betty screamed as the frog slammed back-first into the wall near the grand stair entrance. “Oh my god,” she sobbed as she ran to his side, “what have you done?”

“Oh, I can do more,” Malade hissed, her glassy dark eyes roaming around the room. “Let's get rid of three more nuisances. I'll make you a little more useful for me...”

Debralee jumped hard as the demon shot a flashing black light at the trio of fairies. It writhed around Joyce and Jo Ann, drowning out their screams. When it subsided, two tiny monsters with horns, snouts, and little wings fluttered up to either side of Malade's head.

“Oh yes,” she purred sweetly, “yes, my little pets.” She caressed them, absorbing their blue light. “Yes...I'll take all that magic...”

“NO!” Debralee shrieked. “Turn them back!”

“We have to get her out of here!” Betty wailed from where she cradled the frog in her arms. “Take that...thing...outside! If she destroys the ceiling, she's paying for it!”

She roared as an arrow shot into her leg. “Come and get me, you giant fur coat!” Richard screamed from the entrance, now dressed in his tattered green bandits' tunic and hose. “You couldn't scare a turnip in a paper bag!”

Lee dove in front of him. “I'm the one who passed information on you, Malade!” she screamed to her boss. “I took over the Rebel Society after you turned Gene into a piece of wood. I worked with him all along.” Malade couldn't avoid her fast stab in her foot. “You destroyed the Royal Family!” Lee's cat-like hiss was nearly drowned out by Malade's shrieks as she jumped on one clawed foot. “My family served them for six generations! You destroyed our land, our homes, our livelihood! You never stop to think of what your desires do to us humans!”

“My god.” Richard's eyes widened in shock as the tall woman retreated, panting. “You're bloody frightening, do you know that?”

She sheathed her weapon, her eyes glittering in the rich velvet night. “Good,” she purred before waving her hand from the steps next to him. “Come on, you witch! Get out of here! You can't kill us in a small space!”

Brett darted next to her. “Yeah! The gardens can be replanted! I'll do it myself!”

“Oh, my gardens!” Betty moaned, cradling the frog as her green gown reverted to tattered blue silk. “Tell her to watch where she puts her tail! I just had the fountains repaired before we were invaded.” Malade crashed through the entrance, making a demon-shaped hole next to the Orson-shaped hole and knocking over the stone Sir Olsen. “Malade, could you possibly be careful?” she yelled. “This room is almost a hundred years old! I have no idea where we're going to get the gold to repair the gilding!”

Fairy Tale Blank, Part 29

The two imps followed three snarling, normal-sized demons. Malade reached down to caress the trio of demons. One had reddish fur and a rather large toothy smile that showed gleaming sharp teeth. The other two had round cheeks and graying fur, one with straight, the other with thick curling fuzz and, rather oddly, glasses.

She stroked the largest of the three under his chin. “Thank you, Sir Thomas. Three of your fellow wizards. They follow me now.”

Gene firmly took his wife's shoulders. “Helen, you and Betty go to the safe place we discussed and send Sir Gautier and Sir Walden back. They took Brett's boys there a while ago. I want you to stay with the kids.”

“I'll go get them,” Helen said sharply. “But I won't stay there. I've spent the last twenty years watching you leave me. I'm not doing it again.”

“I'm staying,” Betty added, clutching the frog who murmured into her cleavage. “I'm not letting that monstrosity tear my home apart!”

“We'll split up,” Richard added. “Nipsey,” he said quickly, “you, Della, Lee, and Fannie will help attack that overgrown fur coat up there. Brett and Charles, you help Donald with Patti. Marcia, you and Bill help the wizards with the smaller demons. Bobby and Elaine, you stay with the queen.”

Bill Cullen explained sadly. “She captured our fellow wizards when she invaded and drained their magic. That's why I left. I thought I'd be next.”

“I couldn't leave,” Gene added. “I had my wife and daughter. Sir Convy and I convinced Malade we were on her side.”

“Well, they know otherwise now,” Charles pointed out. He brushed a furry hand off his shoulder. “Brett, cut it out! I'll make fun of your hair later.”

“Uh, Charles.” Brett moaned in a strangled voice as she peeked over his shoulder. “That's not me!”

Charles turned around quickly, making a face. “Then who...” His glasses ended up focusing on a chest full of silver hair. They went up...and up...to a pair of blue eyes, and... ”Demons wear glasses?” The creature had a pair of round spectacles, not unlike his own and Bill Cullen's. “Um...hi!”

“Oh, good grief. Sir Kennedy,” Brett fussed, “would you stop leaning on him? No one wants to smell your body odor. When was the last time you or your brother bathed?”

“Brett,” Charles whined, “he's three times your size. Don't antagonize him!”

“Tom!” Gene got in between the larger demon and Charles. “Tom, old friend! How're you doing? Where's Jack? I thought you two were living in Malade's fortress of doom and gloom now.” He swiped at Gene with a paw nearly as big as his head. “What was that about, Tom? I thought we were friends!”

“He doesn't know you anymore, Rayburn,” Malade hissed over his head. “He follows my commands.”

“Don't you ever get bored controlling everything and everyone?” Brett grumbled, rubbing her head. “God, I feel lousy.”

“I'm not feeling so hot myself,” Della muttered as the smallest demon grabbed her from behind. “Ok, Beaver Face, I'm going to have to get rough with you.” She tried punching him in the gut, but he didn't move. “Come on, boy!” she kicked wildly. “Get your paws off!”

“Thank you, Sir Marshall.” Malade's hiss sounded entirely too satisfied. “I need the powers from two more. Bring her to me. Sir Narz, bring me the redhead.”

“Oh no, boy!” Fannie ducked away from the shorter demon's sinewy arms. “You're not getting your great big claws on my powers!” Waving her hand only conjured a small breeze. It barely ruffled Sir Marshall's straight shiny fur. “Now, sugar,” Fannie began, “maybe we could negotiate. You ain't that bad lookin', for a demon. Maybe I could change you back, make you even more handsome...” Sir Marshall only replied by grabbing her over his shoulder and throwing her in front of Malade.

The witch's sugary grin showed sharp white teeth as she batted Richard's arrows away. “Yes,” she giggled in her sweet sinister voice, “no need to be shy, Princess of the Air and Princess of Strength. I'll just take those tasty powers of yours...”

Richard and Nipsey screamed at once when the black lights hit Fannie and Della. Black lightning coursed through them, wringing red lights and puffs of white clouds, until the women collapsed on the floor, their skin dried and wrinkled with age.

“Yes....YES!” The demon screamed, her body growing and stretching as her toothy mouth sucked the light in. “I feel it...it makes me stronger! Everything is mine!”

“Honey,” Donald squeaked, “I think we'd better get you out of here, before Queen the Furry decides she wants fish for dinner next!”

Patti gulped. “Just...get me to water,” she rasped. “I may be a mammal, but I'm a marine mammal. We need water to survive, just like fish.”

“There's water in the fountain,” Betty reminded them, tucking the frog gently into a pocket and grabbing Patti's fin. “It's either that, or we haul her to the moat.”

“We'll cover you,” Richard added. He shot off his arrow into her arm. It hit its mark, but she barely noticed. Lee thrust her knife into her in a frothing rage, which got more of her attention. She flung the furious woman into the sunset orange chrysanthemums. “Lee!” He yelped, nearly sliding to her. “Lee, are you all right? She really gave you a knock, love!” He shook her, but she swatted his hands away, groaning.

“Hey!” Elaine's head popped out from behind the asters. “What's all the noise back there?”

Richard made a face. “I thought you two were watching the queen.”

Bobby's head emerged. Even in the moonlight, red lipstick stood out on his tanned cheek “She went with the others. We're hiding from the monster.” A hand with long pink fingernails pushed his head back into the flowers before his boss could yank him out.

“Guys!” Charles wailed as they dumped Patti into the gold fountain. “Remember that thing?” He pointed upwards with a shaking finger at the demon.

“Yeah,” Donald puffed. “What do we do now? By the way, dear, after this is all over, let's talk about swimming together and you losing a few pounds.”

“Thanks, Donald,” she chuckled. “You know how to make a mer-girl feel good.” The second she hit the water, it illuminated with a turquoise glow. “I'm feeling a little better. Enough,” she grabbed Donald by his green calico collar, “to remind me to do this.” The force of her kiss knocked them both into the fountain. Brett whistled; Charles and Betty clapped.

“Uh, yeah.” He gave her a dazed grin under the thick mustache. “What was the question, honey?” He grabbed her and kissed her back, as hard and passionately as he could.

Charles noticed something strange. The moment they kissed...Malade screamed, shrieking at the top of her lungs like she'd been punctured by an arrow. He tugged at Brett. “Hey Susan, could you conjure up enough power to get me a ride on that thing?”

The older woman rubbed her head. “I can try, but I don't know how well I'll do.” Placing her hand on the tallest tree in the garden just barely made it bend enough for Charles to climb on.

“Thanks!” Charles called to her as he scrambled into the branches. “Now, get me to her!” The tree bent over, leaning against her silky black chest. “Is this as high as you can go?” The branches swayed and bent, as if to shrug. It could only reach so much. He'd have to do the rest.

“You little...” Malade growled, trying to shake him off. “Get away from me!” She nodded at the other demons. “Get their wands! I need more magic!”

“Oh no, you don't!” Gene dove away from Sir Marshall, rolling under him. “Watch where you put your hands, Peter. There's no way I'm letting that monster turn me into a walking fur coat!”

Bill Cullen couldn't move that fast, thanks to his damaged leg. Sir Narz easily swept into his bad leg, sending him to the ground with a groan. “Jack,” he groaned as he held him down, “I'd appreciate it if you didn't breathe on me. Have you and Tom been eating dirty socks?”

“Hey!” Marcia screamed, scrunching her eyes closed. “Get off him, creep! For shame, attacking a nice guy like that!” She focused as hard as she could, but her blue light barely ruffled his fur.

“Oh boy,” Prince Bill gulped. “This is where I come in.” He hesitated momentarily before making a flying leap onto Sir Narz's back. “Ok, big boy,” he ordered. “Let's get off the little fellow, before I have to get rough with you.” Sir Narz flung him off his back, but he jumped right back on. Marcia did the same with Tom, trying to direct him away from Gene.

Charles finally reached the top of Malade's shoulders, hanging on for dear life. His eyes couldn't help rolling downwards...and seeing just how far down it was. “Hoo boy,” he muttered. “It's a long way down.” He gulped, then opened his mouth and sang “Put On a Happy Face” as loudly into Malade's ear as he possibly could.

That got her attention. She roared and tried hard to fling him off. “Charles, help is on the way!” Brett called. “I hope I have enough juice left to get up there,” The green light that flowed through the leaves was slight, but the vine slowly managed to heft her onto Malade's other shoulder.

Charles smirked. “That was graceful. How are you with musical comedy scores?”

“At this point,” Brett yelped as she clutched the fur on the demon's neck, “I'll sing the William Tell Overture if it'll get rid of her!”

Charles winced as a high-pitched voice emerged from the fountain, sending a wave of water up to Malade's chest. She roared like a wind storm and shrunk slightly. “There!” Patti called. “That should help! Come on, guys. Get singing!”

“She hates water,” Gene added, avoiding another swat from Sir Peter. “She's a fire demon. And anything beautiful or pure. Demons feed off of negative energy.”

“So, let's not be negative.” Elaine emerged from behind the asters, a sweet smile on her delicate face. “I think this poor thing needs to be healed.” Before Bobby could stop her, she leaned into Malade's thick fur. “Yes...I can feel the pain. You've never really been happy.” She petted her fur like she was a puppy.

“Uh, Elaine,” Bobby muttered from the asters, “the only thing that will make that monster happy is seeing all of us dead.”

“S...stop!” Malade boomed. “Take your hands off me!” With a wave of her claws, a rope of golden fluff appeared in her hand. “Your hair, pretty one!” It dissolved into fluffy yellow particles her claws absorbed. Water Patti sent onto her disappeared instantly. “It's now a part of me.” She grew even larger, towering over the castle. “There's nothing you can do now!”

“That's what you think!” Charles yelled into her ear. He reached around his neck and grabbed Brett's hand. “If we sing together, can you get your moving ropes going?”

Brett gulped and clutched her stomach. “I'll see what I can do.” Charles opened his mouth, letting “You'll Never Get Away From Me” flow out of his mouth. Brett's clarion foghorn sounded a little odd in harmony with his voice on the fast ballad, but it seemed to do the trick.

Malade roared, trying to shake off the little people making noise in her ears. One vine snaked around Charles, grabbing him just before his grip slipped. Another wrapped around Malade's ankles, trying to pull her down. She roared, digging her claws into the ground.

“Wait...” Nipsey added, taking Della in his arms. “If it works for the man and his fish lady, it could work here. You're the boldest angel I ever knew. I thought I liked poetry more than love, until I gazed at you.”

He leaned over and kissed her. A gold light surrounded her...and she pulled him down and kissed him harder. “Hey hon,” she drawled, her eyes fluttering open, “do you really mean that? You sure know how to sweet-talk a lady.”

“Every word, hon.”

She easily bounced to her feet. “Ok, where's that giant stuffed animal? I'm ready to take her down about six thousand huge pegs.”

“Hold on a minute, folks.” Richard frowned as he and Lee knelt on either side of Fannie. “What are we going to do about her? Her lover is probably a stone statue inside.”

Lee put her arms around Fannie. “Remember what the fairies said?”she chided gently. “It doesn't have to be her lover who revives her. It just has to be someone who cares.” Richard nodded and wordlessly wrapped his strong arms around both women.

Soft breezes blew around the entwined pair for a few minutes. When the breezes finally disappeared into the night sky, a familiar voice cried out from under their entwined arms. “Hey! Let me out! I can't breathe under here!”

“Sorry, Fannie.” Richard chuckled and moved his arms first. “We had to restore your magic somehow!”

“We're your friends.” Lee added as she and Richard tugged her up to her bare feet. “That's what friends do.”

“Well, thank you.” Her gentle grin lit up her face as her soft breeze blew her to them for another hug. Malade roared over them. “Oh, pipe down, you giant handbag,” she snapped up to the demon. “We're havin' fun here.”

Gene held his wand to her. Golden light glowed on the end. Malade reared back, nearly tripping over the vines. “Light!” he yelled. “She hates pure light, and she hates love! Happiness! Anything cheerful! It's not in a demon's nature!” Bill Cullen tried to light up his wand, but he had to fight it away from growling Sir Peter.

Suddenly, there was a rush of leather wings. Huge paws slammed into Sir Marshall's face, sending him sprawling. “We're here...Master Cullen...” growled Sir Dick Gautier as he wrapped his arm around the other demon's neck. Sir Robert Walden wrestled Sir Jack Narz to the ground.

Waves of water splashed from the fountain onto Malade. It was only enough to make her torso wet, but she still roared and reared back. Debralee waved her wand as she charged in...only to run almost head-first into Malade's chest. “Whoa!” she rubbed her head as it flung her back. “Ok, that's one big wall!”

“That's not a wall!” Charles called. “We're gonna sing and distract her! How are you with light?”

“I can reflect light off water,” Debralee yelped. “Let me just...” She fluttered down to Patti and Donald. “Your Highness, maybe we could try to work together. How's your water magic? Mine doesn't do so well in the moonlight.”

Patti shrugged. “It'll be ok, as long as I stay by a water source. What do I have to lose?”

Donald gulped. “I think the answer to that one is 'our lives,' sweetie.”

Gene tapped Richard's shoulder and borrowed his sword. “We'll handle everything over here,” he called as he held the shining blade at Sir Kennedy's neck. “Sorry, Tom. I don't want to do this, but you're not thinking. We're going to have to keep an eye on you until we can break that spell.”

“All right, everyone!” Charles called down. “Start singing! Follow along. If you don't know the words, hum, or whistle, or something!”

Brett focused on her vines, making them squeeze Malade harder. “Mother, you're through.” She grabbed Charles' hand as the beast shook harder. “Watch it, Victor! I don't think you want to lose your toupee down there. That'll be a hell of a pressing if you get underfoot!”

He smirked at her, grasping her hand tightly. “Well then, Susan, hold onto your wig and keep singing!”

“You know,” Elaine giggled, “she is really kind of squeezy. Wish she smelled better, though.” The blonde princess tugged a small frilly glass bottle from her pocket. “You need a whiff of this.” She sprayed her all around her sleek black fur. “There. Better.” Not only did she bury her face into the fur, but she reached out and pulled Bobby into it, too, holding his hand.

“Elaine,” he muttered through a face-full of fur, “what are we doing?”

“Shh!” One slender white hand waved from Malade's lower back. “We're healing her!” Gold light built around her leg, a small but playful light that ruffled her fur and danced around the duo.

“Well, you're going to have to hold on real tight.” Fannie closed her eyes, focusing. “It's my turn now!” She focused, waving her hands until a wind that smelled of fresh late summer apples and roses blasted straight into Malade's chest. “Keep singin' up there!” Her face turned almost as red as her hair as she waved her hands, blowing the light from the torches on the sides of the palace where Malade could see it. “This is gonna be a bumpy ride!”

“Love-in!” Della wrapped her arms as hard as she could around Malade's other leg. “This is so much better n' trying to kill her. Kill 'er with kindness, that's how you do a demon in!” Nipsey reached over and grabbed the fur over her head, both of them singing loudly into her fur.

“Let...me...go!” Malade shook harder, growling into everyone's ears. “You're a fool...you silly...minstrel!” She reached up, taking Charles in her claws. “You're...killing...me! You and...your silly...emotions!” He gasped as she wrapped her scratchy claws around his torso and squeezed him, knocking out his breath. “I...should crush you...destroy you...you and my meddling stepdaughter...”

“Charles!” Brett reached out for him in horror. Her vines wrapped around Malade's fingers, trying to open them. “Betty,” she called, twisting around to find the queen cradling the frog in her arms by the fountain, “how's your friend coming around?”

Betty's peaches and cream face gazed sadly on her fallen friend. “He's not. Nothing I can do will bring him around. We all tried. We shook him. We sang in his ear.”

“I even splashed him with water,” Patti honked as she stroked the frog's back. “Your Majesty, he's getting awfully dry. That's not good for frogs. Really wrecks havoc on their complexions.”

“There's just...I feel as if I've lost something precious,” Betty sobbed noisily. “I barely knew him, but I feel...I feel like I just lost my best friend. He kept trying to kiss me...trying to help me...he helped us get to Marcia and fought as well as anyone else in the ballroom. How could he be gone?”

“Oh, for heaven's sake!” screamed Brett from her stepmother's shoulder. “Just kiss him already!”

“Kiss a frog?” Betty wrinkled her nose. “I may be an animal lover, but that's pushing it a little far. They don't have warts, but they do have mucus.”

“Can you do something?” Charles rasped as Malade squeezed him harder. “I don't know if I can take this much longer!”

“Well...” The queen sighed and finally lifted the little frog to her lips. “Here goes nothing.”

The second her lips touched his rubbery green ones, the little amphibian's rubber body shook like a blade of grass in an earthquake. Green and gold lights chased the black light into the shadows. Betty threw up her hands as the bright light subsided...revealing a white-haired, bespectacled, badly bruised man with his head pillowed on her lap.

“Allen!” She threw her arms around him, ignoring his tattered robes and dirty tunic. “I knew it...there was just something in the back of my head all along that said it was you, but it was like there was a screen over that part of my brain and I couldn't think of it...”

“Wait!” Charles shoved at the demon's dry, leathery fingers. “First of all, lady, you seriously need about ten bottles of lotion. Your hands are drier than Brett's knees. Second, could you please put me down? I can't breathe up here!”

“Good.” Malade wrapped her shaking hand around his upper half, cutting off his complaints. “Shut up, you little troublemaker.” She shook harder. “There is nothing a useless little weakling can do to stop me!”

“Maybe not one,” Betty took her husband's limp hand and Patti's, “but how about three?”

Donald grabbed Patti's other hand. “Or four? Let 'em rip, darling!”

“Sure.” Patti shrugged, let Betty go, and swished her hand around in the water.

“Let me help you,” Fannie added, taking Donald's hand. “I think we might be able to create a nice little typhoon that'll bring this great big lizard down to size.”

“Do it fast!” Debralee shot her water at the three toothy imps who chased her. “I don't know how much longer I can hold out here!” The tiny creatures hissed and surrounded her, lashing at her with their claws.

“Gene?” The wide-eyed, silver-haired troll lumbered out of the ballroom, his big smile vanishing. He dragged a statue of a small woman behind him. “What..happened...to...Dolly? How did...she turn...to stone?”

The older wizard nodded at Malade. “Ask your boss.”

He made a face. “She's not...my...boss. I never liked...her. My wife...and I...just want to give...parties...again. We had...one last party...after the queen and king...disappeared...and she did this to me.”

Light and water swirled in the wind, spraying over the entire crowd like drops of moonlight. “Whoa!” Richard grabbed Fannie's hand. “I think it's working! It's also soaking us, but if it works, who's to complain?”

Gene was pushing Sit Kennedy back with his sword and holding his wand with the other hand when he looked over his shoulder. “What's that sound? Does anyone hear it? It's coming from Televisia City.”

“Brett, can you see anything?” Charles rasped, his singing voice becoming merely a croak from overuse. “All I see is black fur.”

“I...think so!” Brett clutched her vines to keep from blowing off Malade's shoulder. “There's a light...many lights? There's rows of lights coming down the road and over the bridge. They look like villagers carrying torches. Either that, or everyone in town suddenly decided to sleepwalk while carrying about six thousand fireflies.”

“Is it me,” Marcia added, “or do I hear singing?” She ran to the edge of the bridge over the moat. “Hey,” she called, “they're coming! They're all coming!”

“Holy cow!” Prince Bill gasped as he peeked over her shoulder. “It's the whole town! The whole country! Cullen, you won't believe it! Everyone's coming! The whole world! I've never seen so many people!

“While the villagers distract Malade,” Brett added, “I need to go to work. Charles, hang on! I'm coming!”

He glared at her. “That's great, now do something about the monster hanging on to me!”

“Richard,” Fannie panted as sweat poured down her face, “she's vulnerable now! Shoot her in the heart!”

“Please!” Betty begged, clutching Allen to her chest. “Before I do it myself!”

“I'll help.” Marcia focused on Richard's last arrow. “Bill, go give the monster a hug.”

“Me?” He squeaked. “Oh no. I'm allergic to demons. They give me a rash, and I end up looking all red and bumpy, and I swell up like a frog...no offense, Your Majesty...”

“None...taken...” Allen muttered from Betty's arms. “Bill,” he grunted, “just go help the others, before I manage to stand up and kick you there myself!” Bill didn't need to be told twice. He grabbed Nipsey's other hand and burying his face into Malade's leg.

“Bobby!” Elaine clutched his hand as the winds blasted across the gardens. “Hold on!” She clutched his hands, grasping them for all she was worth. “I can't lose you again! I won't let her hurt you, or anyone!” Tears ran down her cheeks, falling in golden streams into the silky fur. They blew into the whirlwind, mixing with the green light vines and red light coming from Della as she squeezed Malade's leg has hard as possible.

“Ok, boys,” Brett rasped as she swung her vines over to the clawed hand clutching Charles, “do your stuff here!” Debralee flew over and added her own magic.

“Everyone stand back!” Richard yelled, pushing Lee behind him. The villagers all stumbled back several feet, or maybe they were blown back by the raging typhoon. “Lee, hang on!”

“I don't think I can do much else right now!” she shouted over the din, grabbing his back with one hand and the side of the fountain with the other.

Far from blowing it off-course, the typhoon sent the arrow directly into Malade's chest, aided by a faint but prickly blue light. Gold tears flowed down Malade, helping to wash her away as she screamed. Brett's vines wrapped around her, squeezing her and forcing her to loosen her grip on Charles.

“Don't worry, Victor!” Brett yelled, throwing a vine down. “I have you!”

“Yeah,” Charles moaned as he grabbed hold, “but who has you?”

The vines gently wrapped around both of them, just as Malade opened her hand to fling him into the wall. It grew around her hand instead. “Everyone,” Charles called, “keep singing! Even if you're lousy at it! It doesn't matter!”

The vines clutched the side of the castle as the music reached a crescendo, and Charles swore his ear drums nearly ruptured. It seemed to penetrate Malade, too. She broke down before their eyes, her arms and legs bursting into explosions of rainbow lights.

“Um, everyone?” Brett yelped as the explosions brightened. “You might all want to stand back. I think she's ready to blow!”

“Gene!” Helen pushed her way through the crowd, waving a torch. “What's going on here? How did she get that big?” She pointed her torch at the dissembling demon.

“Honey, I'll explain it later.” Her husband shoved her next to the king and queen. “Right now, just hang on!”

Suddenly, there was a massive discharge of rainbow light, knocking every single person in the garden to their feet or into flowers and bushes. Charles yelped and grabbed Brett's arms. The only things that kept them from being flung into the moat were the vines wrapped around their waists.

Brett looked over her shoulder as the rainbows dissolved the last of her dark light. “Do you think we overdid it a bit there, Victor?”

“Well,” he admitted, watching the black light drift off into the darkness, “maybe just a little, Susan.”

“Mom!” Adam ran to his mother's side, his brother on his heels. “Are you all right? What was that thing? How did you get to ride it?”

“It's a long story.” Brett gave them the biggest hug she could manage. “I'm just glad to see both of you. I love you so much!”

“Mooom,” David groaned, “don't get mushy!'

Betty helped Allen to his feet. “Are you all right, dear?” she asked as she brushed him off. “What happened? Thanks to Gene's magic, we saw her turn you into...something. A frog, we know now. How did you end up in the well?”

“After Malade threw her tantrum, she took me down to the garden and dumped me there. Apparently, I eat from your dishes and drink from your cup, and then I had to get you to kiss me. I couldn't let on that I knew you, and I had to be as rude as I could. I think she wanted me to scare you off...but she didn't know how you feel about animals of all kinds.”

“Well, a frog isn't my first choice of animals I'd like to kiss,” Betty admitted. “But in this case,” she added quickly, her sweet smile flashing, “I've never been so glad that I did!”

She pulled him into a longer, more passionate smooch...and as they came up for air, they heard a burst of loud applause. Almost every person in Televisia City watched them, cheering and clapping and whistling.

“Dear,” Betty murmured as he kissed around her neck, “could we do this later? We have an audience.” He pulled away, blushing deeply.

Fairy Tale Blank, Part 30 and Epilogue

Gold lights shimmered and flowed around the entire Palace. Stone became flesh as former statues moved and breathed for the first time in months. Crimson roses and orange marigolds in the courtyard garden burst into bloom around the well. Light filled in the demon-shaped holes in the ballroom wall until they looked brand-new and repaired the broken ceiling. Soft green moss covered broken stone; ivy grew over cracked walls. People stumbled out of the ballroom, limbs stiff and cramped from being trapped in granite.

Trolls grunted as gold lights surrounded them, too. It swallowed them up in their brilliance, revealing tired, sagging men in ragged orange and blue cloaks when they subsided. Three women from the crowd rushed into the arms of the trio of wizards, who gratefully fell into their wives' embrace. Trolls who didn't turn into men became butterflies and ladybugs.

Sir Convy helped Sir Olsen stumble down the steps. The smaller man made a face and rubbed his leg where Malade's tail knocked him over. Gary lead Sarah into the moonlight, followed by a very human Orson in a worn huntsman's tunic and stretched hose and Clifton, blinking in the light of the flickering torches. Victoria and Meredith kept their shaking mother from collapsing into a pile on the ground. Pretty Alma Mae ran straight into Fanny's arms.

“Girls!” Debralee happily threw her arms around her friends as the lights restored them to their smaller forms. “You're back! Oh, thank the heavens!” The three fairies squeezed each other as hard as they could, squealing with delight.

“Dick?” The red-headed Brittanica noblewoman rushed into the arms of one of the former trolls, who wore a tattered jacket of nut-brown silk. “Oh Dick, you're all right!”
He grinned. “Yeah, Dolly, I'm definitely better. Looks like we picked a hell of a party to crash, huh?”
She giggled, nudging his arm. “Oh, you're incorrigible!”

“So incorrage me!” He chuckled at his own bad joke.

“Charles!” Sir Gautier laughed heartily as he and Sir Walden became human again. “I can stand upright! I'm handsome again!” He gave Charles a tight hug that nearly took his breath away.

“As much as he was to begin with.” Sir Walden laughed and put a hand on Charles' shoulder. “Hello, Master Charles. It's nice to see you again. I haven't really been able to talk to you since you were my teacher, years ago.”

Charles gasped, barely able to shake his hand. “Nice to see you too, Bob!”

“Mom,” Adam asked softly, “where's Dad?”

She frowned. “I don't think just the spell breaking will turn him back. I had to kiss him.”

“I can help there.” Gene waved his wand. Gold light twinkled faintly around a pedestal in the marigolds. When it subsided, the statue of the craggy-faced man appeared. “Here you go, Brett. Your husband, delivered right to your doorstep, so to speak.”

Brett gave him a faint smile. “Thanks, Gene.” No sooner had she kissed his gravel-covered lips than the gold light penetrated him, too. When it vanished, he almost stumbled over her, gazing at her and his old carpenter's tunic and hose with bleary eyes.

“What the hell happened? Where am I? Where's that witch? I never got to really tell her what I thought about her!” He frowned as he squinted at the outline of his wife in the darkness. “Brett? How did you get here? I heard Malade the Merciless bragging about sending you off to be killed. And why the hell didn't you get here sooner? I've been standing here for almost a month!”

“Hello, honey,” Brett muttered cooly. “How are you? Glad to see you again. Now, could you thank me for saving your rear end?”

“Saving my rear end?” Jack growled. “Maybe you should have tried doing it a little sooner! I think my rear end is permanently numb from being made of rock for a month!”

His wife smirked. “I always knew you were a hard ass, baby.”

Betty gazed at the mingling of happy and surprised faces around her. “This may be the happiest party we ever held, and it's not over yet. Right, dear?”

“Hmm?” He finally dislodged his lips from her shoulders, turning as red as the roses rustling in the breeze on the wall behind them. “Oh, uh, well, yes. There's a lot to explain here.” He waved his hands to the many torches bobbing in the dark. “Citizens of Nerdocrumbesia, and those from far away, yes, I am alive. As of this second, every unfair tax, rule, and edict set up by the previous ruler of this country.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Charles noticed Ira trying to sneak out of the door, hiding in his damp velvet cloak. “Wait just a minute there, Sheriff Skutch.” Allen grabbed him by his collar. “I need to have a word or eight with you.”

“I was, uh, just trying to leave, Your Majesty,” he explained too quickly. “As you can see,” he held out his sodden finery, “I accidentally, er, tripped into the moat and took a bath. I need to dry out, before I catch my death of cold...”

“Nice try, Ira!” Sir Dick Gautier rumbled as he blocked the skinny lawman's way. “You're not going anywhere. You're the one who turned Bob and me over to Queen Malade!”

Richard stepped next to him. “And you willingly aided her in overtaxing and stealing from the people of this country.”

“And,” Marcia added in annoyance, “you repeatedly made brazen overtures at me when I told you sixty times I wasn't interested!”

“Yeah!” Prince Bill yelled from her side. “I told you,” he snapped, “she's my date!”

“Who are you?” Ira squinted. “You seem familiar.”

He made a face. “I'm the guy you petted and called a good boy back in the bookshop.”

The Sheriff's eyes widened. “The wolf? But..but...” He finally threw his arms up in frustration. “Ok, 

Your Majesty, put me under arrest! At least get me away from all this magic mumbo-jumbo. I was only trying to save my bacon. If I didn't go along with Malade, she would have turned me into a troll, too. As for him,” he quickly reached for Richard's hood, “this man has stolen money from just about every noble in this kingdom at one time or another for the past two years, Your Royalnesses!”

Most of the crowd gasped as he yanked the hood off, revealing the the dark-haried nobleman. “Sir Richard Dawson, formerly of Hogan Manor. Should have known. I thought you and your servants died swimming the river the night you ran out on me.”

“We only made you think we died.” Orson crossed his arms, glaring at him.'

Richard put up a hand before Orson could speak further. “Ira, you and that witch Malade took everything I had in the world when she murdered my father. We had no choice. You accepted stolen property from your boss. Hogan Manor belongs to me and my sons.”

“I had to! She would have killed me if I hadn't!” Ira fell on his knees before the king and queen. “Your Majesties, please. Honest. I never meant for things to get that far! Just give me a chance.”

Allen sighed. “Ira, I'm sorry. You conspired with Malade against the crown. Most people call that 'treason.' We'll see what a jury of your peers say, but I'm afraid you're likely going to have to do at least ten years at the jail in Holly Woods.” He nodded at Sir Gauitier. “Dick, would you and your men take him to the basement? We'll send him along to the jail house in the morning.”

Dick grabbed Ira by the back of his cape, his wide white grin gleaming and nearly feral in the 

moonlight. “My pleasure, Your Majesty.” He and Robert dragged Ira off before he could protest further.

“Now,” Allen continued, “what to do about you, Sir Dawson. You did break the law, even you did it with good intentions.”

“Your Royalness,” Nipsey started, stepping next to Richard, “you arrest him, you arrest all of us. He gave us jobs, something to work for. I didn't have a job or nothin' when I joined this group.”

Orson joined him. “Me either. We're all equally to blame.”

“That's right,” Bobby continued, reluctantly letting Elaine's hand go. “Take me, too.”

“And me!” Gary bounced up next to him. “They took me in after Malade broke up the Apothecary Division. I had nowhere else to go.”

“And they helped me and my granny,” Sarah explained when she joined him.

“And us!” Donald waved from the fountains. “They took me in and helped me save my mer-girl here.”
“I wouldn't be here if this human and the former dog,” Patti added, nudging Donald playfully, “hadn't dug me out of the sand.”

Elaine smiled at Bobby and squeezed his hand. “Master Van and two of the others rescued me from that horrible tower in the woods!”

“And,” added Della, taking Nipsey's hand, “they helped prove I was whom I claimed to be.”

“We're to blame, too,” Arlene told him as she and Soupy stepped out of the crowds. “We knowingly accepted stolen money and helped them get into the ball.”

“Us too.” Charles nodded at himself and Brett. “He gave me a job after Ira turned me away here, and we saved Brett on the road.”

Brett sighed. “And I saved them from my stepmother. Look, Allen, they meant well. It's not like most of the nobles around here can't spare the cash. Why don't you just let him off with a warning?”

“Please!” Lee begged, squeezing Richard's arm. “Your Majesties, I'd...like to get to know him better. I want to meet his boys. I can't do that if he's in jail with Ira.”

Allen grinned. “And I wouldn't want anyone to be in jail with Ira. No, Richard, I'm not going to arrest you. Not now, anyway. We need a new Sheriff of Nerdocrumbesia. How about it? You can work from Hogan Manor, which is yours for as long as you want it. Betty and I have children. We'll help care for your boys.”

“I accept your offer, Your Majesty,” Richard told him with a bow. “After all,” his own smile widened as Lee gazed hopefully into his eyes, “we may have to ready Hogan Manor for its new mistress.”

“However,” Allen went on, shaking a finger in his face, “if I ever catch you, or any of you, doing anything worse than passing through or having a picnic in Sherwood Forest again, you're all going to end up in jail. Got that?”

Richard nodded, grinning and bowing. “Got that, Your Majesty.”

“Now,” Allen went on, “for the rest of you. I want to talk to my wizards first.”

“Your Majesty,” Sir Jack Narz began as the wizards stepped up to him, “let me explain what happened, at least to the best of my ability. My brother and colleagues and I don't remember a lot of this.” He sighed. “Tom and I were on the front lines when Malade attacked.”

Tom, the taller man with the glasses and wavy white-gray hair, made a face. “We couldn't handle her magic, even together. She had iron cuffs put on our wrists and tossed us in the basement, then ran her hands all over me. I said 'no,' but she kept pushing on me...and made sure Jack could see it all.”

“I pushed her off,” Sir Jack went on. “Told her to get her hands off my brother. He's married. That's when she threw that black light of hers on us...and I don't remember much else.”

Tom frowned. “I don't either, until I ended up staring Gene's sword in the face.”

“I remember even less.” Peter rubbed the back of his head. “I was there with my squadron. Some giant hunt of meat slammed me over the head, and I don't remember anything else until I woke up on the ground and feeling like I'd just had six really bad hangovers at once.”

“She drained your magic,” Jack explained. “Ours, too. Drained it, burned our wands, and that's all we know.”

Allen frowned. “Gene...after she threw me in the dungeon, she told me you and Bert were her willing servants. She boasted about having all of you under her thumb.”

“It was an act.” Bert shook his head, holding Meredith's hand. “I joined the Underground. Lee and I passed information to Fannie's father, and then to her after he died, and she passed it to us.”

“Gene and Bert and I talked about what to do after you vanished,” Bill continued. “I thought it was for the best if I left. I'm not as strong physically as the others. Gene, Johnny, and Bert stayed to learn more about the Legendary Princesses and help the Underground.”

“And speaking of,” Betty nudged her husband, “don't we have a few legends to talk to?”

Marcia shook her head. “Not me. I'm no legend. I'm not really into all this court business. I'm better off back in the country, where there's fewer witches around.”

“Yeah,” Bill added. Turning red, he slipped his hand into Marcia's. “I just want to go home...and I want her to come with me. Someone's gotta help me take care of the magic roses in the Summer-Winter Garden.”

“It must be love,” she added with a smirk. “That's the least I've ever heard him say!”

Cullen sighed and nodded. “And I'll drive them back. I'm retiring. I want to return to my bookshop in Villenveuve. I enjoyed running that shop.”

“Your Majesties, we're not staying, either.” Della patted Nipsey's hand. “We promised Queen Isobel we'd be home in time to celebrate Malade's demise.”

Clifton grinned as he joined the others, three familiar lights fluttering around him. “I volunteered take these lovely ladies home and play for their people. Never had a gig playing for fairies.” He grinned when the green fairy stopped and fluttered by his cheek. “Could be a lot of fun.”

“Fannie?” Ethel roared, pushing and shoving her way through the crowd. “What are you doing here? I told you to stay home! Get back to the kitchen this instant!” She turned to the amused royal couple and switched on the closest she could get to a charming smile. “Your Majesties,” she began, bowing, “I'm so sorry about my stepdaughter! She's...a leftover from a previous marriage. Just an imaginative child. My daughters and I will take her home right away...”

“But I don't want to go home, Mother!” Meredith whined as Sir Convy kissed her hand. “I like it here! Everything is so beautiful and elegant.” She turned pink as her poofy gown when the dashing wizard nibbled down her arm. “And everyone.”

Victoria turned to Allen. “Your Majesty, I'm studyin' music, or I was before Malade invaded. Do you need a court singer? I got friends who were studying with me who are great singers and performers, too. I guess you could say we were like a troupe. We could perform at your balls and in Televisia City.”

The snow-haired king gave her a grin. “I know who you speak of, Victoria. Lady Carol is a good friend of ours. I'm very fond of her work. She – and you – will always have a place here.”

Betty took Fannie's hands. “As for you, we'd like to hire you. Your magic is incredible. I don't care what you are. I want you to take over your Daddy's enterprises, including running our Secret Service. Malade's not the only magician with evil magic around.”

Fannie curtsied as Alma Mae took her arm. “We accept, Your Majesties. On one condition. I want you to fix up my Daddy's home. The manor's falling apart.” She grinned at Alma. “We'll need a summer home when court life gets to be too much.”

“What about me?” Ethel wailed. “I'm out servants!”

“How about you work for a living?” Arlene smirked. “I could use someone big and tough and loud to help me in the shop, since it looks like Fannie will be busy at the Palace. Half of Holly Woods could probably hear you announce my daily specials! I could even teach you some useful magic.” She bowed before the king and queen. “It's nice to see you again, Betty. I've missed you.”

“I've missed you too, Arlene.” The queen took her hand. “You're back on as our private physician, of course. You and Soupy are the best miracle workers in the kingdom.” She nodded at Gary and Sarah. “And I'll restore the Apothecary Division. We'll send you out to the Sherwood Forest borders starting next week, as soon as we can round up everybody.”

“What about us?” Donald called from the fountain. He sat on the edge, his arm around Patti. “I want to be with her, and she's gotta thing for me, but I don't have fins.”

“We could help there.” Gene joined them, followed by the other wizards. “If we put our magic together, we might be able to turn Patti back into a human.”

“Thanks, Your Wizard-ness, but no thanks.” Patti made a face. “I wanna go home. I just wish I could take him with me.”

Donald gave her waist a squeeze. “I'd love to see your home, dear. Maybe even meet your mother. Someday.”

“Well,” Bert started, “in that case...” He whispered into Gene's ear. The seven men gathered in a huddle, putting their wands together. Soft silver light rose from the wands, settling on Donald's legs. Silver light surrounded them as he moaned and gasped and Patti watched wide-eyed. When the light subsided, Donald's legs were now yellow fish-tails with magenta fins, the color of his outfit.

Richard frowned. “Are you all right, Donald? How do you feel?”

“My fins are sore.” Donald rubbed his fin, but his eyes were on Patti. “But my lady here will help me get used to them.”

“Donald, as soon as we finish here,” Richard insisted, “we'll take you two back to Andersen Bay, so you can get used to your new home.” He chuckled. “But we will miss you, friend.”

Orson grinned. “Won't be the same around here without you making bad jokes and blowing smoke in everyone's ears.”

Donald grinned and stuffed his last cigar in his mouth. “Aw, go on. You guys sure now how to make a merman feel all like mushy seaweed.”

“As for us,” Gene continued, “Helen's going to stay here to help Betty get everything together, and I'm going to continue searching for more of the kingdom's legendary magicians.”

“This is our home. Our daughter is in Holly Woods, announcing the return of the king and queen to the residents.” Helen grinned up at her husband. “Even if he has to leave me for a while, that doesn't mean I love him any less.”

“Hey, Your Majesties, that leaves us.” Jack waved a hand. “Yeah, think we ought to get to findin' some little castle of our own, too.”

“Speak for yourself.” Brett made a face. “You gambled away our last one! Did you really think playing poker with my stepmother was a good idea? She blew our home to kingdom come after that!”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I can't read minds, Brett! How was I supposed to know she had two queens up her sleeve and could make more appear?”

“Mooom, Daddddd,” Adam complained, “come on, don't fight!”

Betty sighed. “You two are welcome to stay here until you're able to find a home, but please, don't tear each other apart! Or us, for that matter. Why don't you focus on the gardens? I saw what Malade did to them when I was outside with my ball. It'll give you something to do and get out of each other's hair.”

“Oh,” Brett grumbled, “all right. But only until we find a place.” She glared at Jack. “And you're going to help. I want to see you doing something besides gambling our fortune away!”
“What about you?” He complained. “Drinking all of my money...”

Charles cleared his throat. “Um, could I get a word in edgewise here?” He stepped up to the queen and king. “Your Majesties,” he bowed low, “I think it's time I hit the road. I'm a traveling minstrel. I got my gig. All I ask is to be paid for my services, and then I'll be on my way.”

“Don't leave so fast, Charles.” Brett put a hand on his shoulder. “We need you here. I know we fight, but I'd miss you if you were gone.”

“Please don't leave, Master Charles!” Gary begged. “Brett and I can't do this all alone.”

“Nor can I.” Richard's warm smile made Charles' heart flutter. “You may not have the skills or the mind of a warrior, Charlie, but you have the heart of one. You were the one who saved us and rallied us together in the end.” He gave Charles a kiss on his increasingly reddening cheek.

Orson's hearty slap on his back nearly sent him to the ground. “I'm sure we could find you some really good-lookin' guys around somewhere to play for.”

“Please, Charles.” Betty patted his shoulder. “Allen and I would miss you. You're our kingdom's champion, after all.”

“Well,” he drawled, rolling his shoulders in a heavy theatrical shrug. “All right. Why not? I'm tired of traveling, and Cornelius could use the rest. Besides,” his lips widened in a grin, “I almost like you guys, too.”

“Here, man.” Clifton handed him his lute. “You can have this. I can get another. Music man gonna need somethin' to accompany him.”

“Thanks, Cliff,” he smiled and pushed it back, “but no thanks. I think my singing is just fine without it.”

He grinned as the fairies bobbed behind him. “Thanks, man! You're somethin' else!”

“I hope it's something good!”

Brett put an arm around him. “You know, you whine too much, your wig is terrible, you can't hold a sword to save your or our lives, and you're STILL not wearing socks!” She gave him a hug. “But it's so good to have you home!”

“Thanks, Brett.” His smile as everyone “awwwed” was sweet and genuine. “It feels good to be home.”

The entire kingdom went up in a massive cheer that nearly deafened Charles, cheering him on and calling out their names. They sounded a lot like their audiences in the studio, he thought as he yawned a bit.

“Charles?” Brett's voice broke into his reverie as she shook his shoulder. “Charles, we're about to begin! The camera lights are on. Charles!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Wha?” Charles muttered blearily. His cheek showed lines from where he'd fallen asleep on the book. “Oh,” he grumbled as he swatted Brett away, “it's you. Great thing to wake up to. How much vodka did you drink? They can probably smell it in the audience.”

Brett, now looking more like his regular friend, made a face. “Charles, I'm fine. Never felt better.” She nodded at a slender woman with almond-shaped eyes, sleek black hair pulled back with red clips, and a tight brick read v-necked blouse. “Get a load of the new kid down there. I swear, I've seen that girl somewhere before. Gene's already been all over her.”

Charles' eyes widened. She looked just like the witch from his dream...only a lot more pleasant, with her wide white smile. “Hey there!” She waggled her lacquered fingernails, her voice a pleasant British contralto. “I'm an old friend of Richard's. They thought I'd add a little...oomph...to the show.”

Brett raised an eyebrow. “Looks like you're adding a lot of oomph to me. Probably not much else, though.”

“I beg your pardon?” Joan glared at her.

“Ladies, please.” Charles fussed. “Joan, you...remind me of someone. Someone I saw recently. Really recently, as a matter of fact. Have you ever played a witch?”

“Well,” the slender woman chuckled, “I've heard a similar word used for many of my characters.”

“Joan!” Richard settled down in his seat. “Glad to see you. You're a sight for sore eyes. Ira's just making me sore.” He sighed. “Someday, I'll have my own show. Then I'll be able to tell gits like him exactly what I think of them!”

“Yes,” added Brett with a smirk, “and won't that be something? Bet you'll get a kiss from every female contestant on the show!”

“You're just jealous.” Richard smirked back. “Your relationship with Jack is stone-cold. I've been pretty hot with some very lovely ladies.”

“Hi, everyone.” Patti Deustch quickly slid in on Richard's other side. “Sorry I'm almost late. Donald and I took our son Max to the aquarium. He was disappointed there were no mermaids there.”

“But there's one here,” Charles muttered as he opened the book.

“What's that up there?” Joan asked, nodding at the book.

“Oh, just a book of fairy tales,” Charles admitted. “Thought it might be good for a gag in the beginning.”

Joan grinned. “Funny you should ask me about witches. I always loved a story with a good, delicious villain. They get the best parts.”

“I'd still rather sleep for a hundred years,” Brett grumbled with a yawn.

Ira ducked past them. “Ok, everyone, you're on in two seconds! Charles, lose the book. The show's about to start!”

Charles quickly shoved the book under his desk right before the camera and the spinning orange box turned on him. Maybe I'm not as dashing as Richard, he thought as he picked up a bundle of blue papers and held them like they were playing cards, but I can help people win money, too. And for these folks, that may be all the heroics they'll ever need.